Let me begin my story back in the foggy shroud of happy memories. In my freshman year of high school I met a friend named Dan. We got along very well and fast became good friends. Enter Lisa another freshman who had a crush on Dan. Lisa and Dan became a couple and I became friends with Lisa. The rest of high school passes in a happy bliss of me being the third wheel but we are were close friends. Well after graduation we all went to different schools. Dan and I kept in touch and would hang out when we would be back home. Dan and Lisa attempted to keep their relationship going and would be on and off cause of distance and them growing up.
Then came the day. I recieved a call from a couple of other mutal friends lets call them Kelly and Jen. They asked me if I heard what happened between Lisa and Dan. I had not heard anything but I figured they had gotten engaged so I said no but if it is what I think it is I am very happy. Kelly then said if he ever did something like that again she would kill him. This confused me. I suspected what she meant but I did not want to leap to conclusions. I asked her what happen and she said it was not her place to tell me. So I asked Dan and Lisa what happened and neither of them would tell me. So I went with my assumptions and moved on.
Well after years of courtship Dan and Lisa got engaged. I still saw them both fairly regularly and kept the friendship going. During this time I met my wife and discovered to my chagrin that Dan and my wife were like oil and water. While this was dishearting I moved forward still seeing those two but not with my wife. I was the bestman in Dan's and Lisa's wedding and it was one of the happiest moments for me cause two of my close friends were getting married.
Well after the wedding things got a little busy and we kinda fell outta touch. Dan and Lisa moved to a neighboring state and we did not get to talk as much, then came the fateful day that Dan came to town and wanted to do something. I already had plans and tried my best to cancel my plans so I could hang out with him. Well I was unable to so I left him some tickets to a festival on my front door. I was not sure I was gonna be home and I wanted him to get the tickets. Well this offended him greatly and he refused to speak to me. This caught me by surprise cause I never expected such a small thing to ruin a friendship. Well I apologized about 5 times through email and phone calls but he never responded. Even when they had a child he would not respond when I came to the 1st birthday party. He would stand on the other side of the room. Lisa however remained a good friend and tried to patch things up between us.
Well yesterday I get a email from Lisa explaining that here and Dan are now divorced. My jaw hit the floor. I asked why? Her response
He beat her.
I sat there speechless for about 45 minutes at work.
I asked for how long? She said awhile. I was furious I told her I was coming up there to "talk" to him. She said don't cause it may not be his fault. Apparently schizophrenic behavior runs in his family and he has been showing signs of losing touch with reality. She said his family was trying to get him to go to the hospital. She said his work was suffering but he still worked there.
Now for the crux. Both are good friends I feel anger at Dan but part of me does not want to believe it. I want to go up there to talk to him, but I am afraid I would only make him worse. Lisa is fine and lives away from Dan and has a restraining order on him and I am planning on going up and visiting her, but what do you do with a friend you can no longer respect but still feel bad for.