This afternoon I have a meeting with my sons preschool teacher. My son, aged 3, is being hit by another child almost constantly. The child in question is a three year old with speech problems. He can not, or will not, talk to communicate, and so uses other means to get his message across. The child has his own personal aid, so there are 3 adults in a classroom of 13 children; teacher, teachers aid, and this childs aid. And yet, my son is coming home from school almost everyday to inform me that this kid hits him constantly.
Already spoke with the teacher 2 weeks ago, she said shed keep a closer eye on the situation.I was also informed that my son was not the main "target" of this childs frustration, which makes me wonder what other kid is getting his *** kicked. Since then nothing has changed. Im proud of my son, because he has not yet reverted back to hitting the kid in retaliation, but has done what I taught him and get the nearest teacher.
What I dont understand is how this kid can continually hit other kids if there are 3 adults in one room and one adult is specifically there to watch over this kid?
Since school began it is now the first thing out of my sons mouth on whether or not he was hit today. And each morning he asks aloud if he will get hit that school day. And that is not right for a child of 3 to have to wonder that.
So my question is: how would you handle this situation? Im not going to go off the handle, I want to be as polite as possible, but also direct with my concerns and the importance of this issue. What would you say to the teacher and what would your requests be to ensure the safety and well being of your child?
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Parents of schoolage kids, quick adviceFollow
It's preschool. The obvious solution is to inform the instructors that if they can't do their job of keeping Kid A from hitting Kid B, you'll find another preschool. If the situation is as you describe, someone over there is pretty incompetant and they should either be able to manage the problem child or else remove him from the classroom. I don't know why you'd pay money to keep your kid in that situation.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
You know I don't have kids, but at this point, is is possible for you to get a meeting with one of the assistant principals or the principal himself, and include the aides that are there to watch this child? I don't see the point in repeating the teacher meeting if that got you nowhere.
Edited, Mon Oct 3 11:11:13 2005 by Atomicflea
Edited, Mon Oct 3 11:11:13 2005 by Atomicflea
Id like to keep him in there for a few reasons. One is that his friends are in the same class as he, giving him time to socialize with them along with making new friends. I am also under the assumption that school should be a safe place for children to learn. Me taking my son out of the school will not solve the problem, only take away one more child for this kid to hit. Laso, it is not geared towards kids with special needs, so if anyone were to leave I would hope it would be the child who obviously has learning disabilities and can not handle being in a normal preschool class.
Jophiel wrote:
It's preschool. The obvious solution is to inform the instructors that if they can't do their job of keeping Kid A from hitting Kid B, you'll find another preschool. If the situation is as you describe, someone over there is pretty incompetant and they should either be able to manage the problem child or else remove him from the classroom. I don't know why you'd pay money to keep your kid in that situation.
Moreover, if it continues you will be contacing the governing body and filing a formal child abuse complaint with them as well as contacting the police. They are responsible for the well-being of you child in their care, regardless if it is abuse from a peer, caretaker or adult.
have you tried talking to some of the other parents of kids in the class? Maybe if you band together you can file a CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT!!! hardy har har.
Lady deadsidedemon wrote:
Also, it is not geared towards kids with special needs, so if anyone were to leave I would hope it would be the child who obviously has learning disabilities and can not handle being in a normal preschool class.
I don't see the point in letting my kid get smacked just to make a point of who's job it is to remove who.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Elderon the Wise wrote:
Moreover, if it continues you will be contacing the governing body and filing a formal child abuse complaint with them as well as contacting the police. They are responsible for the well-being of you child in their care, regardless if it is abuse from a peer, caretaker or adult.
See, this is the angle that I would hit the school's administration with. The teacher has no power over this child's behavior if the aide can't control him, but she also can't act upon him without the appropraite knowledge of how to communicate with him. Only administration can take it further, whether it's to lay down the law for the aide, call the other parents, or decide that maybe the child is not doing well in the classroom and move him.
Ya know...
Your kid did the responcible thing and told the teacher.
You spoke to the teacher her/himself.
If the kid is STILL a problem...
Tell your kid to sock him.
Seriously. Tell your kid to punch him right in the center of his nose. You will accomplish the following:
Your kid is responcible enough to do the right thing, but he WON'T be anyone's floor mat.
That other kid will think twice about punching your kid.
Your kid will get his first macho-man ego boost.
Your kid did the responcible thing and told the teacher.
You spoke to the teacher her/himself.
If the kid is STILL a problem...
Tell your kid to sock him.
Seriously. Tell your kid to punch him right in the center of his nose. You will accomplish the following:
Your kid is responcible enough to do the right thing, but he WON'T be anyone's floor mat.
That other kid will think twice about punching your kid.
Your kid will get his first macho-man ego boost.
That is what I was thinking myself ( above X.. he posted too damn fast). I was going to tell the teacher I do not believe this childs personal aid is doing her jb if she can not keep this child off the other kids in school and if it continued again I would be taking the complaint to higher authorities, principal, superintendant, and anyone else I may have to go through. I didnt think about the police but I could check in on them and see what they could do if it continued.
If I have to I would move my child with no qualms if it ensured his safety. I am just hoping there is a different route I can go through first.
As for the other moms, yes we've spoken and they have had complaints from their kids as well and have spoken with the teacher. My sons best friend has also confirmed to his mom and myself that my son is being hit quite a lot.
Well wish me luck. Ive got to go pick him up in a couple minutes and get this little "meeting" over with. Thanks for the advice
Edited, Mon Oct 3 11:23:08 2005 by deadsidedemon
If I have to I would move my child with no qualms if it ensured his safety. I am just hoping there is a different route I can go through first.
As for the other moms, yes we've spoken and they have had complaints from their kids as well and have spoken with the teacher. My sons best friend has also confirmed to his mom and myself that my son is being hit quite a lot.
Well wish me luck. Ive got to go pick him up in a couple minutes and get this little "meeting" over with. Thanks for the advice
Edited, Mon Oct 3 11:23:08 2005 by deadsidedemon
Lady deadsidedemon wrote:
As for the other moms, yes we've spoken and they have had complaints from their kids as well and have spoken with the teacher. My sons best friend has also confirmed to his mom and myself that my son is being hit quite a lot.
Well wish me luck. Ive got to go pick him up in a couple minutes and get this little "meeting" over with. Thanks for the advice
Good luck. If you can, let them know that if it will make more of an impact, you can come together as a group and maybe even sign a complaint in writing.
Lady deadsidedemon wrote:
I would be taking the complaint to higher authorities, principal, superintendant, and anyone else I may have to go through.
That's your problem right there DSD. NEVER talk to teachers, ALWAYS deal directly with the principal. I didn't realize this school has a principal. I thought you were talking more along hte lines of a pre-school or day-care. Where I live one is governed by the province (hence going to the governing body). In a school, you should never talk with the teachers, they are too close to the situation. I always bring my FIRST complaint directly to the principal. They are usually very apt at handling issues quickly, as that is their prime directive.
If all else fails, you should actually consider what I posted, as "barbarish" as it sounds.
Of course, asking your kid to retort with more violence beckons a LONG discussion before hand, but keep in mind that your kid "toughening up" a little isn't really a bad thing.
He can't be mommy's little boy forever. :\
Of course, asking your kid to retort with more violence beckons a LONG discussion before hand, but keep in mind that your kid "toughening up" a little isn't really a bad thing.
He can't be mommy's little boy forever. :\
Elderon the Wise wrote:
I didn't realize this school has a principal. I thought you were talking more along hte lines of a pre-school or day-care.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Oddly enough this is a public regional school for two towns and the preschool is part of the actual school system. unlike most preschools, this is not a privately owned but run by the town itself like other schools. It includes preschool for ages 3-4 and kindergarten for two towns. After kindergarten the towns split up the kids to their own schools and then meet up again in middleschool.
So yes there is a principal like a normal school. I would like to give the teacher one more chance, but this is it and I will be informing her if my son gets hit one more time Im going to make offical complaints to the higher ups.
So yes there is a principal like a normal school. I would like to give the teacher one more chance, but this is it and I will be informing her if my son gets hit one more time Im going to make offical complaints to the higher ups.
Aaahhhh.... I was assuming this was your typical Kindercare-esque glorified daycare with a chalkboard style private preschool.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Quote:
I'd assumed the same. What kind of preschool has a principal?
Edit:Added quote for referance, you guys post to damn fast.
Obviously, the kind that has fu[b][/b]cking mental kiddies that constantly hit other children.
I'm with Ex on this one. You went the nice route, your child handels him/her self very appropriately. But there is a time for the politeness to drop and **** to hit the fan.
Edited, Mon Oct 3 11:47:26 2005 by Molish
Yep, I also gotta agree with Exo. If your kid pops him one, the abusive kid will learn that if he hits someone he'll probably get hit back. It'll make him think twice about doing it again. Your kid and you did the right thing so far, if they won't handle it let your kid cowboy up.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Lady deadsidedemon wrote:
So yes there is a principal like a normal school. I would like to give the teacher one more chance, but this is it and I will be informing her if my son gets hit one more time Im going to make offical complaints to the higher ups.
Waste of time. Talk to the principal. If you had a complaint with a customer service rep of a company, would you talk to them or their supervisor? Think about it. I have 4 kids, and nothing has ever been solved by a teacher. Principals will speak to you, then the teacher and then will monitor the situation. This is not escalating the issue, it is bringing it to the appropriate person. The teacher's job is to deal with the kids, not the parents.
You only escalate when the PRINCIPAL fails to do their job.
Trust me on this one.
Molish wrote:
Obviously, the kinda that has fu[/b]cking mental kiddies that constantly hit other children.
I'm with Ex on this one. You went the nice route, your child handels him/her self very appropriately. But there is a time for the politeness to drop and **** to hit the fan.
I'm with Ex on this one. You went the nice route, your child handels him/her self very appropriately. But there is a time for the politeness to drop and **** to hit the fan.
Trust me, I was the kid that always did the right thing and avoided fights. Let me tell you, to this day I still have slight backbone issues (nowhere NEAR as bad as before, but I sometimes, for whatever the reason, just don't stand up for myself.)
I had maybe 3 friends tops, while everyone else had little to no repect for me. (This is elementary school, mind you.) I would get picked on endlessly by the other kids. Teachers won't really do much, since it's just so common, other than "ok, you sit here and you sit over there." That didn't stop anything, of course. Heck, getting transfered to a new class room doesn't help.
It's good to have your kid have a balance of both diciplin and self-respect. Diciplined enough to do everything thing in his power to make sure that the proper authorities handle the offender, but enough self-respect to not let anyone fuck with him.
I know from experience if a kid that picks on you gets shoved face first into the side of a desk resulting in temporary blindness he'll stop picking on you pretty damn quick.
Just saying.
On a related note punching might not be the answer, teaching your kid the "vulcan death grip" might be more appropriate.
Pain is nature's way of saying "never ever do that again".
Edited, Mon Oct 3 12:05:07 2005 by AngryUndead
Just saying.
On a related note punching might not be the answer, teaching your kid the "vulcan death grip" might be more appropriate.
Pain is nature's way of saying "never ever do that again".
Edited, Mon Oct 3 12:05:07 2005 by AngryUndead
Sir Exodus wrote:
Trust me, I was the kid that always did the right thing and avoided fights. Let me tell you, to this day I still have slight backbone issues.
Shaddap you **** before I pop you one right in the nose!
Seriously though, adults get angry when you kid says 'but mommy told me that if someone hits me to hit them back.' Not that I disagree with you on it, but it doesn't fly in today's age. At least not until they are older and will not blame the parents.
Quote:
Trust me, I was the kid that always did the right thing and avoided fights.
Dead on here. Though, I got lucky and was one of the drifter people who was able to slide from crowd to crowd in HS. Stoners, jocks, nerds, goths, had friends in all the cricles.
Seriously, it was the video games. I was always a heavy gamer, and so were 95% of them. Common ground and all.
But I have yet to be in one single fight to this day.
Elderon the Wise wrote:
Sir Exodus wrote:
Trust me, I was the kid that always did the right thing and avoided fights. Let me tell you, to this day I still have slight backbone issues.
Shaddap you **** before I pop you one right in the nose!
urg....!!! It's happening again!
Elderon the Wise wrote:
Lady deadsidedemon wrote:
So yes there is a principal like a normal school. I would like to give the teacher one more chance, but this is it and I will be informing her if my son gets hit one more time Im going to make offical complaints to the higher ups.
Waste of time. Talk to the principal. If you had a complaint with a customer service rep of a company, would you talk to them or their supervisor? Think about it. I have 4 kids, and nothing has ever been solved by a teacher. Principals will speak to you, then the teacher and then will monitor the situation. This is not escalating the issue, it is bringing it to the appropriate person. The teacher's job is to deal with the kids, not the parents.
You only escalate when the PRINCIPAL fails to do their job.
Trust me on this one.
The most shocking part of this post is that someone had sex with Elderon. Four times.
Quote:
The most shocking part of this post is that someone had sex with Elderon. Four times.
Not to point out the blaringly obvious, but I think she's jealous Eld.
You need to jump on that kool-aid right quick.
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