So I'm getting divorcedFollow

Entertainment in the way people think that belittling, humiliating "reality" and "game" shows are "entertainment".

I personally don't think that watching retards like this guy poo themselves is entertainment, but to each their own.







I bet you watch American Idol, too!

Glad to hear you're angry, Nexa. It's helpful for those times where you can't seem to stop crying. Don't feel stupid for loving someone. That capacity means that you're not broken.

As for the house, I understand you wanting to hold on but my personal opinion is that you should be practical and save cash. Of course you deserve one, but you can get one on your own later, when your daughter is aware of the fact that she is IN a house and not in a basket somewhere, and when those Bratz dolls she demands start adding up.

Nexa, I know you don't know me too well, but I'm am sending you multiple comforting, matronly, virtual hugs.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It just sucks and there's no way around that. I have no doubt you and your child will get through it just fine, but it sucks just the same for right now.

Eeek! Yeah. That sucks Nexa. Sometimes life throws you a curveball, and you just got a dozy!

I think that the most important thing is to keep your life on track as much as possible. You've already got a huge head start on most women in this situation in that you are the breadwinner of the family. I say keep the house. You've still got your income; you should be able to afford it. The biggest problems financially will be child care.

If he's a great dad (even if he can't stay faithful), then let him be the dad. It's an adjustment, but once you have children with someone, you're stuck with that person for life whether married or not. I know that you probably hate him right now, and you're thinking really bad thoughts, but he is the father of your child. He can certainly help with the child care part of that (and by your earlier posts is good at it). Obviously, he's going to have to get himself a more serious job as well, and that'll crimp into kid time. Do you have family in the area? See if you can work something out to minimize the cost of daycare. I think that you can figure out a way to make that work.


As to the family issues. That's a bummer, but it's not a dealbreaker. Kids are tougher then you think. It's actually better for parents to get divorced when the kids are young then when they are older. Yeah. This definately tossed all the visions of the future family thing out the window. That hurts. But believe it or not, the wounds you feel right now will heal. The absolute most important thing is to find a comfortable relationship with your current-soon-to-be-ex husband. You *must* do this, no matter how difficult it seems right now. Those visions of the future will be different, but they'll be infinitely better if mom and dad are both there for the kid then if they aren't.

I know many divorcees who've settled into a very comfortable friendship later in life by establishing their roles for the kids and ensuring that the things that caused them to divorce don't prevent them from interacting socially. One way or another, you will always have a relationship with this man. Whether it's as the father of your child who's always available to help out, or the guy that you never want to be in the same room with is largely up to what you and he do in the next couple years. Be angry with him. Get divorced. Cite irreconcilable differences. Do what you have to do. But don't toss him out of your and your daughter's lives. Because *that* will hurt your child more then anything else.


And finally... Keep your chin up! I know it's painful right now, but that pain will fade in the years ahead. Life still has many wonderful things in store for you, I'm sure.

Hey girl, I've been down that road. There is a federal program out there that will look at your income/debt and help you with childcare. Contact your creditors now and let them know what is going on, some of them may actually work out a lower payment plan for you. See if you can refinance the house for a longer period of time but for less payments. Get EVERYTHING in writing from here on out. If you're vindictive, does your state have an anti-adultery law? If your husband is arrested for adultery this will show up in your court proceedings and may work to your advantage for child support/alimony. Document everything, from phone calls to letters. Sue for your Husband to have to pay for your court/lawyer costs.

Above all else take care of yourself. It will get easier with time, but it will be rough for a bit. Remember to breathe. It's not your fault what he is doing. He made that choice on his own. He will regret what he's lost soon enough. One foot in front of the other, I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel, its just really hard to see right now. If you've not spoken with a lawyer do so ASAP, most will set a consultation visit for free. Make copies of every important document.

Sorry 'bout that, Nexa. Man, life can sure kick you in the balls.

Be strong for the little girl though.

Wow, is there a couples curse on the asylum or something?

I too am sorry to hear this news. I remeber when you were first posting here and were just engaged and everything. If he's going to pull stunts like that though, you're better off without him. From what I know of your personality from your postings here, A. it's his loss, and B. I'm guessing soon you'll be passing him by in life, and he'll realize what he lost, far, far too late.

The guy sounds like a real jerk, and i'd be honored to whack him in the kneecaps with a well aged cheese loaf a few hundred times for you if the occasion ever arises. There's obviously something wrong with him if he gave you up for some married **** that gave him the nod. I give him an F- at life!

I don't really have any experiance or sage words of advice to offer, but i'm told i'm a good listener. if you ever need to vent or talk (or if you get bored of talking with Jophiel andf the 30 people that posted before me), i'm here

oh, on a side note, blkswrdsmn STFU noob!

Bah! I feel ya. The same thing happened to me about a week ago, there must be something in the air. It sucks being so conflicted about things.

Mine moves out in a week and I am still having a hard time accepting that this is actually happening. Friggin life, it sure does give some sucker punches once in awhile.

Just keep your head up. The days seem like years now but they just get longer if you don't move on.

What did you expect, marrying an Englishman?

Seriously, he is a fu[b][/b]cking disgrace.

Lewiston is the unwashed armpit of maine

It's been a long time coming, and I had my doubts, but now I can finally make it official: Katie, I heart you.

FTFY


Anyhow,

I can’t fathom how people do this to each other :( I mean, what's the point of getting married (i.e. pledging to spend the rest of your life with that one person) if you're going to willingly cheat down the road?

I still stand by my statement of Bad husband = Bad father, no matter how it seems he is with kids. This is from personal and observational experience.