DoorsteppersFollow

Since when does pressing my doorbell become a magic "Free access to your time" button?

No I don't want to subscribe to your fu[/i]cking gymnasium / Cable company / Phone Company / Wacky religion!

If I want a conservatory I'll fu[i]cking ask for one!

So it's worth developing techniques for getting rid of the "Don't take no for an answer" brigade:

1.
Doorstepper: Could I interest you in [insert sh[/i]ite products or services here]?
Nobby: Fu[i]ck Off

2.
Doorstepper: Could I interest you in [insert sh[/i]ite products or services here]?
Nobby: Ooh! Yes! Wait there a second please.
(Close and lock door then go upstairs. They rarely stay longer than 10 minutes, but my record is 25)

and my favourite. . .

3.
Doorstepper: Could I interest you in [insert sh[i]ite products or services here]?
Nobby: Sorry I don't speak English
Doorstepper: But I am speaking English!
Nobby: Nope. Didn't get a word of that
Doorstepper: I said I am speaking English! And so are you!
Nobby: Sorry, that was just noise to me.

It can go on for a while, but trust me. It's hugely rewarding

Nobby the other day after you had told me about strategy 3 I had 2 Jehovah Witnesses come to my door. I was all set to try it out when I opened the door. To my dismay one of them could not have been oder than 12.

Sadly, my non religious ethics kicked in and I just said I wasnt interested. JW are the debil when they recruit little ones to try and convert you to their cult. I just can't be mean

Edited, Sun Sep 18 18:25:34 2005 by deadsidedemon

Nobby, my friend, that one actually caused me to make hooting noises. You are in fine form lately.















But did you have to punch so hard? I'll be eating nothing but soup for a week.

My favourite is picking philosophical fights with the Watch Tower people.

I once listened to my brother pretend to get all hot and bothered and **** off to a telemarketer call. Not sure how to translate that into a door-to-door type of situation, but it was priceless.

I usually just refuse to answer the door. Windows kick ***.

Come to the door naked.

A good one for on the phone is pretty much the same as your second one. Tell them that you would absolutely love it, but ask if you can just go on hold for a second. 10 minutes later when it has costed them a buck they never call back- and most likely put a star beside that number. "Don't call them!"

I did some time working for a Survey Company. Survey research. Basically who are you gonna vote for, what product do you buy. No sales.

Smart *** replies are the name of the game and the people that are calling you have their own ways of dealing with it. One of the more common ones asked by smart asses is "what are you wearing" so you reply with "clothes" the 5 seconds of stunned silence on the other end where they are trying to think of what to say is always priceless.

An honest to God polite refusal will be accepted. If someone is silly or tries to be a smart *** I usually would just set a call back for dinner time the next night.



Edited, Mon Sep 19 14:25:33 2005 by bhodisattva

I can't wait for Jehovas and Born Agains to start coming to the apartment. I'm going to answer the door, beer and smoke in hand, in my boxers.

Jehova: Good morning, sir. Have you found Jesus?
Me: Sure have. He's in my fridge. Man, that water to wine thing really comes in handy for parties!

Did you fail the essay portion of the screening?

He got the highest recommendations and honours. He is in the 'elite' class of JW missionaries. Most intellegent arguments versus the 'teachings' will go right over his head and he will continue to preach like the good robot he is.

Don't you know anything about the system?

----------You must be this tall to preach--->
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