Worst Joke in the world?Follow

Daddy Balloon, Mummy Balloon and Baby Balloon live happily together. But one day, Daddy Balloon tells Baby Balloon that he’s growing up now, and must sleep in his own bed. No more climbing in with Daddy & Mummy Balloon.
“OK”, says Baby Balloon.

That night, Baby Balloon has a nightmare and decides to sneak into Mummy & Daddy’s bed. But when he gets there, there’s just no room. He tries to squeeze in, but without success.

Then he has a cunning idea.

He reaches under the quilt, finds the knot at the base of Mummy Balloon, unties it carefully, and allows a little air out. Pfffffffffffffffff!

Mummy Balloon shrinks a little, and Baby Balloon quickly refastens the knot.

Bahh. Still not enough room

So he goes to Daddy Balloon.

He reaches under the quilt, finds the knot at the base of Daddy Balloon, unties it carefully, and allows a little air out. Pfffffffffffffffff!

Daddy Balloon shrinks a little, and Baby Balloon quickly refastens the knot.

Bahh. Still not enough room

Then he looks to his own knot, allows a bit of air to leak out, re-secures the knot and finds he can just squeeze in-between Mummy and Daddy.

The next morning, Daddy awakes to find Baby has crept in again!


























Punchline to follow

Daddy Balloon says to Baby Balloon.

I'm not angry son. I'm just disappointed.

You've let ME down, you've let your MOTHER down, but worst of all, you've let YOURSELF down!

So this snail goes to an auto shop and asks the man to do a custom paint job on his car. He tells the guy

"I want two giant "S"'s painted on each side of the car"

Curious the man agrees and tells the snail to come back the next day.

The snail shows up the following day and is presented with his car and seems quite pleased. The man asks

"just out of curiousity why the giant "S"'s?"

The snail responds

"well, when I drive by I want people to say 'hey look at that S car go"

Dizzy broad.

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks the chemist for a tube of Chapstick. The chemist asks if the duck will be paying cash, to which the duck says "Nah, just put it on my bill".

Double punchline! Ducks don't have lips!



I hate scrolling horizontally.

Edited, Wed Sep 14 17:20:02 2005 by NephthysWanderer

I'm gonna tell my penguin joke again!

A cop's sitting in his car when he sees a pick-up truck drive, the bed of it filled with penguins. The cop flags the guy down, gets out and asks him "Hey, what's with all the penguins in the truck?" The driver says "I'm sorry officer, I was just on my way to take these penguins to the zoo." The cop says "Ok, but make sure you go straight there. You can't go driving around town with a truck full of penguins."

The next day the cop is sitting in his car and sees the same truck drive by, still filled with penguins. He pulls the guy over again and says "Hey! You told me you were taking these penguins to the zoo!" The driver says "I did! They liked it so much, today I'm taking them to the movies!"

Ha! I slay me!

Umm...if he let air out of balloons that were laying at a fixed vertical level, how would he let them down? Are talking center of gravity, highest peak? Because base elevation remains constant.

2 jews walk into a bar. They buy it.


And.........


2 blondes walk into a bar. The brunette ducks.

They fight crime? That looks a lot like the spam I get everyday at work; Sentances that make 0 sense.

Previous funniest joke in the world


Hitler: My dog's got no nose.

Legion of *****: How does he smell?

Hitler: Awful.

How do you catch a polar bear?

















Cut a hole in the ice sprinkle peas around it (frozen ones are ok). When the bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.

***

One day, three men sitting on a log in Africa, bored out of their minds.

The first man asks the second: "What do you want to do?"

The second replies, "I dunno." He looks at the third man. "What do you want to do?"

The third man has no idea. He ponders it for a while, and finally answers, "I know! Let's find an elephant and stick a cork up its as[/i]s!"

The second man agrees and they set off in search of an elephant

A week later, the same three men are sitting on the same log in Africa, bored.

The first man asks the second: "What do you want to do?"

The second replies, "I dunno." He looks at the third man. "What do you want to do?"

The third man thinks about it for a while, and finally answers, "I know! Let's find a monkey to take the cork out of that elephant's as[i]s!"

A week later, the three men awaken in a hospital. The first man looks at the second and asks, "What'd the last thing you remember?"

The second man answers, "Piles and piles of it. What's the last thing YOU remember?"

The first man replies, "Tons and tons of it."

Together, the look at the third man and ask, "What's the last thing you remember?"

The third man begins to cry and answers, "The poor little monkey trying to put it back in with his feet!"

Yowza, had to practically do time travel to dredge that one out of my memory.