Just my two cents DSD since noone else seemed to touch on htis point: the situation you described about moving to a new company with your old boss, sounds very stressful to me. I would be very on edge if that was my situation especially with a home and family to support (or partialy support, your financial situation is none of my business)
In addition, perhaps there were nuances and details of his new job revealed to him at this BBQ that were unsettling to him in addition to the stress of the new job. With all this on his mind you can see how he could lose track of time be late and then snap at you later. Though he does owe you an apology for both.
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jrmayii wrote:
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well obviously he was jumping to conclusions before I could open my mouth, if that were the case. In that case, why?
Just my guess, but in his mind he already told you he was going to be late. You questioned him about this. It pissed him off. To you the issue may not be "being late" ....to him it probably is.
Question for ya...IF he would have called at say 9 or so and said "Hunny I'm not going to be back until 10 or so" then all would have been A-OK?
Edited, Fri Jul 29 11:07:53 2005 by jrmayii
as I have already stated, I wouldnt care at all if he was out until 2am so long as he had just phoned in to let me know. It would have put my mind at ease
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Late vs. LATE:
I clicked this expecting to read something about a surprise pregnancy. Not something that reads like a script idea for "The King of Queens".
Do what all happily married couples do, both say your sorry and have make-up sex.
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I'm guessing you're a male under 25 with no children?
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I'm guessing 16-21, really, but wouldn't rule out someone up to that age. Reminds me of my stepbrother until he was in his late 20s.
Fu[/b]ck you, Coder.
On a serious note, how could you complain about generalization...and then do the same thing with age? Not everyone under 25 and childless is a tool, just like someone over 25 and with children isn't an cu[b]nt.
Your guessing sucks. 
You slicked your way out of this one...but next time, Gadget...next time....
You slicked your way out of this one...but next time, Gadget...next time....
I have my hubby trained to always tell me where he is and when he's coming home. When I was 20 we went on a trip with some friends to Vegas and they wanted to go out and gamble while I was too young to be on the floor. I stayed in the hotel room and went to sleep because it was like midnight or something so I figured it was a good plan because I wasn't going to be awake to require attention anyway.
So I wake up at like 8 am and no one is in the room. Being underage and alone in Vegas was very scary for me because it wasn't like I could go out into the hotel casino and look for him. So I started to think that maybe the bunch of them got drunk and out of hand and maybe they got into trouble and he was lying in some hospital dying and I had no way of knowing or that some other ******* had gotten mad at him for some smartass comment that I wouldn't have put past him to make and k33led him in some dark alley. Needless to say my imagination seriously got the best of me. I started calling operators and asking if anyone by his name was in a hospital and when I told her that he just hadn't come home the farking ****** snickered at me and said some sassy thing that made me hang up on her.
15 minutes later they all come back safe and sound and I'm on the verge of bawling my head off. He felt so horrible for not calling or anything and making me worry so much that I was in a state of panic. I felt really dumb, but he's careful to tell me when something is going to take a long time.
So anyway, boo to your hubby for snapping at you simply for worrying. But seems like he just didn't like the idea of you clucking over him while he was gone. Could also be your mom gave him a tiny scolding and is ashamed to admit she started a ruckus..
So I wake up at like 8 am and no one is in the room. Being underage and alone in Vegas was very scary for me because it wasn't like I could go out into the hotel casino and look for him. So I started to think that maybe the bunch of them got drunk and out of hand and maybe they got into trouble and he was lying in some hospital dying and I had no way of knowing or that some other ******* had gotten mad at him for some smartass comment that I wouldn't have put past him to make and k33led him in some dark alley. Needless to say my imagination seriously got the best of me. I started calling operators and asking if anyone by his name was in a hospital and when I told her that he just hadn't come home the farking ****** snickered at me and said some sassy thing that made me hang up on her.
15 minutes later they all come back safe and sound and I'm on the verge of bawling my head off. He felt so horrible for not calling or anything and making me worry so much that I was in a state of panic. I felt really dumb, but he's careful to tell me when something is going to take a long time.
So anyway, boo to your hubby for snapping at you simply for worrying. But seems like he just didn't like the idea of you clucking over him while he was gone. Could also be your mom gave him a tiny scolding and is ashamed to admit she started a ruckus..
Lady deadsidedemon wrote:
What Im pissed beyond measure right now though, is the fact that he never defined his idea of "late" and is pissed off at me for worrying. He even threw in the comment that maybe he shouldnt go out anymore. Now cmon guys. How fuc[b][/b]king hard is it to tell your wife how late you're going to be, esp when you have the responsibility of getting your son, or to drop a simple phonecall? And why is it that people feel the need to lash out at a person for worrying about them with no word? I wasnt rude, I didnt yell,curse, or talk cold. I was just relieved to hear his voice but I barely had a chance to say a word before he bombarded me with this defensive crap.
OMG DSD, I think the male definition of late that must be morphed into a husband's DNA when he makes his marriage vows. I went through almost the exact same thing with mine.
When our daughter was a newborn (she wasn't even 2 weeks old when this happened), my hubby went to go help a friend set up his friend's new computer. He told me and I quote "I'll be home in a little bit." Okay, no biggie. I was a little bit tired and wanted to sleep, but couldn't because our 5 year old and 9 year old boys were running around the house and playing. About an hour rolls by so I call my hubby and he says "We're almost done, I'll be home in a bit." Another hour rolls by, I call and he says the exact same thing. Another hour rolls by, I call and he and his friend aren't there. So I figure they must be on their way back to my home. Another hour rolls by, I call (and this time frantic because I'm DEAD tired from nursing a newborn, dealing with 2 little boys bouncing off the walls) and he says "I'll be home in a little bit." I give it 15 minutes. He's not home, so I load up the kids into the car and drive over there. My husband is SITTING PLAYING A FREAKING GAME ON THE NEW COMPUTER. I just lost it.
I start crying and my husband and his friend could I see that I was tired, pissed, and on this side of lunatic. And he says "Okay, honey, I'll keep the kids, you go home and rest." And I'm like HOW THE **** AM I SUPPOSED TO GO HOME WITHOUT THE BABY BECAUSE I'M ******* BREASTFEEDING HER??? So I just get even more pissed off and my husband gets mad and he's like "Hey, I need some downtime too." So I just snapped. I got the kids back in the car, drove home, asked another neighbor to come over and watch the baby and kids while I took a nap. In no time at all during my nap did my husband call or come home (our friend said my hubby was really scared about how mad I was). So when I woke up feeling refreshed, I called my husband and he asked if it was okay for him to come home. And I told him NO ******* WAY. YOU CAN COME HOME IN A LITTLE BIT.
So he came home about 12 hours after he first told me "I'll be back in a little bit."
Looking back on this episode, I realize I wasn't suffering from postpartum depression. It was postpartum anger.
But DSD, I know where you're coming from on this one. *rate-up for comfort*
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Basically what happened DSD was he got to having a good time at the BBQ and forgot to call. Then when he got to your mother's house and heard that you were worried he knew he'd ****** up. There's only one way we men know how to respond when we're in trouble with the better half; counter-accusations.
The plan was that if he could make you feel bad for worrying, then you's forget all about being worried about him. I'm sure he didn't do it to be malicious, it's just how we're hard-wired.
It all stems from the fact that we don't understand women, and we fear what we don't understand.
The plan was that if he could make you feel bad for worrying, then you's forget all about being worried about him. I'm sure he didn't do it to be malicious, it's just how we're hard-wired.
It all stems from the fact that we don't understand women, and we fear what we don't understand.
My guess was somewhat along these lines. He's probably waiting for a cue from you to see if it's okay to start peace negotiations.
peace negotiations have yet to be started, alas. He still refuses to look me in the eye, or really talk to me except for an odd mumble here or there, and to be honest, Im not ready to be the first one to offer an olive branch at the moment. Call me a bi[b][/b]tch, but Im still hurt, and I really dont want this to be swept under the rug until he can be adult enough to sit down and talk it over. I havent brought it up, nor have I been rude, but I am not going to ignore it either.
Lady deadsidedemon wrote:
peace negotiations have yet to be started, alas. He still refuses to look me in the eye, or really talk to me except for an odd mumble here or there, and to be honest, Im not ready to be the first one to offer an olive branch at the moment. Call me a bi[b][/b]tch, but Im still hurt, and I really dont want this to be swept under the rug until he can be adult enough to sit down and talk it over. I havent brought it up, nor have I been rude, but I am not going to ignore it either.
Wow it has been almost 24 hours. Hope everything works out for the best. A sit down is probably the best. I'd initiate it with some sort of treat. Beer, Ice Cream. Something to break the ice, and start you off on a good note. Then again I am a simple man in a world where Beer and Ice Cream can turn any tide
Maybe he's getting the Divorce Papers ready?
I dunno, everything seems in place. He is being a typical man, and you are being a typical woman. "Working as Intended" seems to come to mind lol.
Honestly though, if it were you late and he was at home, he would be sitting there watching TV, jerking off, playing video games(whatever his thing is to do for fun) and just being glad for the few short hours he gets alone away from work/wife and kids. (lol this may be a bit exaggerated, specialy seeing as I don;t know your husband, but just stereotyping men, most men I know are like this but after 3 hours we start to get anxious, unless the man is a very jealous type, than 5 minutes late is usualy greeted with "Who were you with or Why are you Late>" lol)
Plain and simple, Men and Women DO NOT think the same in regards to certain things.
As far as taking the defensive(which is usualy mistaken for offensive) he may have been stressed, or had personally berated himself for how late he was and didn't need to hear it from you. He may have been involved with a sexual liason that night, you know to get in good with the boss.The boss maybe had some young ladies over and offered on to your husband..and being the company man he is , he would of course partake in a gift from his boss.(I dunno, couldbe lol-- Really though it could be any number of reasons.)
Plus, most guys tend to be shy when it comes to apologizing, he probably feels pretty bad for blowing up at you. I use to be that way, but hell now I don't care I just say what's on my mind.
Honestly though, if it were you late and he was at home, he would be sitting there watching TV, jerking off, playing video games(whatever his thing is to do for fun) and just being glad for the few short hours he gets alone away from work/wife and kids. (lol this may be a bit exaggerated, specialy seeing as I don;t know your husband, but just stereotyping men, most men I know are like this but after 3 hours we start to get anxious, unless the man is a very jealous type, than 5 minutes late is usualy greeted with "Who were you with or Why are you Late>" lol)
Plain and simple, Men and Women DO NOT think the same in regards to certain things.
As far as taking the defensive(which is usualy mistaken for offensive) he may have been stressed, or had personally berated himself for how late he was and didn't need to hear it from you. He may have been involved with a sexual liason that night, you know to get in good with the boss.The boss maybe had some young ladies over and offered on to your husband..and being the company man he is , he would of course partake in a gift from his boss.(I dunno, couldbe lol-- Really though it could be any number of reasons.)
Plus, most guys tend to be shy when it comes to apologizing, he probably feels pretty bad for blowing up at you. I use to be that way, but hell now I don't care I just say what's on my mind.
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