I was making a new sig when I figured I'd make a thread out of it's subject.
My boss and I at work the other day were joking and carrying on, when we came upon an interesting little idea. The idea spawned into a question, one that carried on through the day. The question is as follows: If you could go back in time and change any historical event, what would you do?
Whether it be hilarious, controversial, stupid, or a common 'Bush-Bash' (you know someone is thinking of how they could change his presidency), share it!
Besides the two in my sig, here's a few more I came up with that day:
- Before Arnold Shwarzinegger gets off the boat from Austria, I'd kick his dumb *** into the water so that he couldn't be my state's 'Govenator.'
- I'd go back to before Madonna was born, and punch her mother in the stomach and hope for the best.
- I'd change all **** suits to a flourescent pink. Replace all **** weapons with potato guns and K-Mart lightsabers. I'd turn Hitler into a Jewish person right as his hatred for the Jewish people hit it's max. I'd turn the concentration camps into a place of luxury, where marijuana*, happy drugs, tea, and Lostprophets music flourished.
- I'd replace the package-cutters and other weapons that the ******* terrorists used on the planes they crashed into the WTC, with package peanuts. I'd then give them a glipse of the 72 virgins they're promised, but the virgins will be 92 years old, 300+ pounds, midgets, and will be missing specific body parts.
- I'd go back in time and change EA's Def Jam Vendetta to where it includes the fighter's Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac. Then I'd have the game renamed to Biggie Vs. Tupac. (Controversial, no?)
- Finally, I'd change Luke Skywalker's name to something like Umpokcoogly Skywalker, so that I wouldn't have to suffer all my life with damn awful "Luke, I am your father" jokes. (Real name is Luke, if you didn't catch that). With a name like Umpokcoogly Skywalker, only some Ethiopian kid will get the bad end when it comes to the 'I am your father' joke, and he'll be too hungry to care.
*- I've never done drugs, but I simply added it because the concentration camps were so horrible, but if you flip it around and turn them into happy places: take it from the hippies. The Jewish culture would then have a certain percentage of easy-going, very hungry people. I figure it's best to give them the opportunity, considering the crazy dictator who put them there. /rant
- Forums
- Cross Site
- The Asylum
- If you could change any historical event
If you could change any historical eventFollow
Chand wrote:
- I'd go back in time and change EA's Def Jam Vendetta to where it includes the fighter's Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac. Then I'd have the game renamed to Biggie Vs. Tupac. (Controversial, no?)
Aside from the small detail that neither was on the Def Jam label (and therefore, not elible to be in the game), I wouldn't see a problem with this.
i would save hundreds of thousands of human lives, the integrity of our country, and billions of tax payer dollars. i would change the results of the 2000 elections.
I'd go back and have the natives of the Americas to guard their eastern shores, and kill anyone that showed up.
I'd go back and getup for work on time today. But hey I’m in IT, we run on our time right?
I would go back about a million years and kill any groups of pre-humans more than, say, five.
Alternately, I would have made Johnny Damon hit the home run that sealed the Yankees' doom last season.
Alternately, I would have made Johnny Damon hit the home run that sealed the Yankees' doom last season.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Is this like the Bill and Ted trick?
John Wilkes Booth sneaks behind the unsuspecting Lincoln... and raises his weapon to the Presidents head.... suddenly you hear a "WTF!!?"
Abe turns around to see a man holding a menacing turkey leg.
From behind the cutains is heard "Wyld Stallions Rule!!' beneneneneneneneeer!««air guitar
John Wilkes Booth sneaks behind the unsuspecting Lincoln... and raises his weapon to the Presidents head.... suddenly you hear a "WTF!!?"
Abe turns around to see a man holding a menacing turkey leg.
From behind the cutains is heard "Wyld Stallions Rule!!' beneneneneneneneeer!««air guitar
I'd put a condom while fu[/i]cking your mom.
I think i would change nothing. It could become worse after any changes... (Not a Simpsons and dinosaurs joke) Every bad events has something good in it anyway. But i would go back and witness the construction of the pyramids.
edit: typo
Edited, Thu Jul 14 13:03:32 2005 by Artagant
edit: typo
Edited, Thu Jul 14 13:03:32 2005 by Artagant
Teach the Aborginies of Africa, that when those white men get of there boats kill them all.
Quote:
Teach the Aborginies of Africa, that when those white men get of there boats kill them all.
yeah dont sell youre Bretheren to them.
Quote:
Teach the Aborginies of Africa, that when those white men get of there boats kill them all.
So aside from forcing Americans to take GEOGRAPHY lessons.
I would do the following three things.
1. Kill the producer of Populas II at birth for destroying 5 years of waiting for its release.
2. I would force the sniper to miss Nelson at Trafalgar
3. I would beat the writer of the koran to an inch of his life and force him to take out the 40 virgins bit, and add in a passage about "those who commit murder on thier fellow man regardless of faith shall be cursed forever"
11 posts
I would go back in time and stop myself from reading this thread.
oh! got one that only has bad things in it.
I would go back in time to stop george lucas from modifying the old star wars and chose another actor for yound anakin in episode 1
edit: while i'm there, i would make him remove jar-jar or take real actors in disguise.
Edited, Thu Jul 14 14:19:46 2005 by Artagant
I would go back in time to stop george lucas from modifying the old star wars and chose another actor for yound anakin in episode 1
edit: while i'm there, i would make him remove jar-jar or take real actors in disguise.
Edited, Thu Jul 14 14:19:46 2005 by Artagant
Quote:
Quote:
Teach the Aborginies of Africa, that when those white men get of there boats kill them all.
The ignorance of the average American, still astounds me.
So aside from forcing Americans to take GEOGRAPHY lessons
Teach the Aborginies of Africa, that when those white men get of there boats kill them all.
The ignorance of the average American, still astounds me.
So aside from forcing Americans to take GEOGRAPHY lessons
Umm, I think DVeight is Canadian, or at least I'm assuming this because of her luck in getting an early copy of Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince.
Of course I could be wrong and it just so happens she is one of those Geography challenged Americans, who drives across the Canadian border to purchase her groceries and sundries.
assasinate jesus(if he existed), mohamud, and that morman guy
this would forego me having to assasinate bush
Edited, Thu Jul 14 15:05:29 2005 by EvilPhysicist
this would forego me having to assasinate bush
Edited, Thu Jul 14 15:05:29 2005 by EvilPhysicist
EvilPhysicist wrote:
assasinate jesus(if he existed), mohamud, and that morman guy
this would forego me having to assasinate bush
Edited, Thu Jul 14 15:05:29 2005 by EvilPhysicist
this would forego me having to assasinate bush
Edited, Thu Jul 14 15:05:29 2005 by EvilPhysicist
Right now 20 FBI and Secret Service agents just got a mission to come bomb your house!
American Independence.
You don't deserve it.
You don't deserve it.
tarv
You do know that Aborigines were Roman, right?
You do know that Aborigines were Roman, right?
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Quote:
tarv
You do know that Aborigines were Roman, right?
You do know that Aborigines were Roman, right?
tarv of the Seven Seas wrote:
Quote:
tarv
You do know that Aborigines were Roman, right?
You do know that Aborigines were Roman, right?
Quote:
The Aborigines were an ancient people who lived near Rome before the Romans took over. The name appears to be from the Latin phrase ab origine meaning "from the beginning"; but since it was always used as a proper noun, it is probably a version of the tribe's real name, altered by the Romans to mean "the people here since the beginning."
I understand they were famous for their heated baths, Gladiators, Chariot Racing and getting ****-faced on cheap cider at Cricket Matches with a mangey dog on a string.
Edited, Thu Jul 14 16:48:19 2005 by PottyMouth
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Don't forget the vomitoriums. Think of it, an entire society not only condoning Bolemia, but supporting it with government sanctioned puke facilities!
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Quote:
assasinate jesus
umm.. he was assasinated
I would go back in time and demand the British Empire not allow the Americas to govern themselves.
Shooting hitler just before he became the german leader would also be a good idea.
:D
Shooting hitler just before he became the german leader would also be a good idea.
:D
KakarSmakar the Vile wrote:
Don't forget the vomitoria
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Recent Visitors: 209
All times are in CST
Anonymous Guests (209)
- Forums
- Cross Site
- The Asylum
- If you could change any historical event
© 2024 Fanbyte LLC