Happy Anniversary!Follow

To me!

Last year when I was living at the "frat house" we had a party on July 3rd, since most people go back to work July 5th and our parties usually go strong till dawn. Well, a friend of mine (one of the girls I lived with Three's Company-style) came and brought a friend of hers. Long story short, we ended up talking, I fed her my chili, she spent the night.

It's hard to believe it's been one year! This has been the longest, as well as the shortest, year of my life. Incredible!

And now we're on our way down the street to this year's 3rd of July Party.

Congrats, Deb!

And bhod, try not to get too worried about her having wedding plans. A lot of girls have thier wedding planned out loooong before they ever meet a man.

Today is my my anniversay too, Debalic. Hooray for July 3rd!

Wootles!

Well bhod... seeing as I don't know her, I'd bet that she's just put the final touches on something that she's had in her mind for a long time now.

But seriously, it's bothering you?

As Bhodi describes it, that sh[b][/b]it would bother any man.

Yanari's avatar 4tw!!

Ok, yeah... she seems to be a bit gung ho, so I can understand it making you nervous. I think a big wedding would make me nervous, too. That's why we went to the courthouse and did it. No wedding for us.

It strikes me that the girls who find the wedding more important than the marriage just might be among those who end up as a divorce statistic a few years down the road.

Just a hunch.

Wrong-o

I've worked with enough of these girls to know they do not actually think about the reality of actually being married. They simply yearn for all the fuss, commotion, attention and gifts that a wedding brings.

You completely missed what I was saying. These girls aren't committed to the instition of marriage. They're committed to having a fairy tale wedding day and honeymoon.

Not saying yours is, Bhodi.

To get straight down to the fact I am not a fan of the idea of marriage. Call it the anthropogist in me but I see marriage as nothing more than a social ceremony that legitimizes sexual relations between two people. There is a lot of window dressing over it with concepts of commitment and religious and such but the underlying concept is the sex.

Just look at perception of married vs unmarried when it comes to having a child and the stigma of a couple cohabitating and raising a child without being married as opposed to a married couple with a kid.

That is why I have always stated that conservatives are against gay marriage not because of traditional marriage but because the underlying concept is that once you are married to that person that the sex is accepted and approved therefore gay marriage would be one of the last steps of legitimizing homosexuality.

Other than the govt granted tax breaks and benefits of being married there is no advantage to it and it usually can be a problem in todays society because people feel that marriage somehow redefines the relationship into something more meaningful when in fact it doesnt and this change in perception of the relationship and the new found expectation of being "married" as opposed to just being "together" usually create unreal expectations and goals and put pressure on the relationship.

Plus the fact that a lot of people do it without a lot of thought just because they are expected to or thinking that they can deal with the issues "later" and things end up not working out and then you have a binding social contract which is hard to extricate yourself from especially during the acrimony of divorce.

Not saying I wont get married but I am just rambling pseudo intellectually as practice to deflect any further talk from the girlfriend. While I do believe those points mentioned I think the idea of marriage truly terrifies me because its settling down, growing up, becoming my parents etc.

A good friend of mine's soon to be ex-wife was one of those who had prepared to marriage since she was young, fantasized about it, found my friend, got married, and then didn't change her life one bit (still hung out/hung over with friends all the time instead of with him, had sex with other people, sleepovers with her friends instead of sleeping with him, etc).

Divorced in less than a year, his decision.

Okay, so to review: grats Deb on being happy, Bhodi is leery of committment, and Nad and her old man did it in the courthouse.

Oh, and Drac wouldn't tell us we'd be better off under a communist system; he'd tell us we were too fu[i][/i]cking stupid to benefit from it if we had it. Or something pointlessly belligerent, fill in the blanks yourselves.

That doesn't translate very well to English! In the UK, a reference to someone's "old man" is usually a reference to their father!

Hello darkness my old friend