Dying? Like jewelry?Follow

Try a lifegem.



I'm not sure how I would feel about this. Actually, scratch that. I'd be dead. I wouldn't care. I bet I would make a kickass diamond.

I'd probably be a cubic zirconium.

What with all of the overweight people in this country, it's much eaiser to find someone to sit on your loved one's remains to crush and squeeze it into a diamond.

It doesn't take nearly as long as nature either.

Edited, Thu Jun 30 14:44:43 2005 by Martant

Meh. I'm not gonna pay for someone to be cremated and then this!!!

Hole in the yard. That's it.

Joph, you can go watch!!!

Yes, but can a stupid memory sparkle in the sun as you sip brandy with all of your yacht buddies.

I didn't think so.

I would do it, but only if it means I can come back and haunt whoever owns the diamond. Then I would will it to some people I don't like.

Maybe I could turn her into a glass cutter....

She'd finally be useful!

"Lifegem" sounds like something I need to collect 100 of for a Power-Up.

"honey, will you marry me?"

"oh gee Bob, wow, that's a huge diamond!"

"yeah, it's my Uncle Earnie, I hope you like him"

"look a the way it sparkles in the ... er, wait a minute, did you say that this was your uncle?"

"Sure did! He was ran over by a manure truck while crossing 4th plain a few weeks ago, so we had him compressed with millions of pounds of pressure and volcanolike heat, and then poof! the new family jewel! I won him off my Aunt Martha in a bet."


"urp, um, so I am wearing your uncles corpse on my finger right now?

"Yeah, Earnie was always a big fellow, so they got an extra large diamond out of him!"
...

Macabre stuff there. I'm thinking you should probably not use deceased friends and relatives for ornamentation.

I can see this going WAY wrong. Get too far behind on the ole alimony? The Ex will garnish your *** and have you compressed into something fashionable.

Brings to mind the old saying about being wrapped around her finger...

The idea of a lifegem does seem slightly morbid but it does remind me of the practice of keeping loved ones' locks of hair to remember them by.

Though it probably is a little bit gross in a way, it is the sort of thing you might say, keep as an ornamentation in your foyer or vestibule or whatnot. Would even make quite the conversation piece even. If someone asks about it you can talk about your dead relative and say how their spirit has been captured in the gem and how it talks to you and tells you dirty jokes every now and then though sometimes inappropriate jokes even for a dead person to tell, but then uncle Jerry was always such a joker about things so what can you expect.

I wonder what the deal was with the coloring of those gems though, maybe they use food coloring? Be strange to find out the nicotine from those ciggarettes you smoked when alive made for such a beautiful glow to your diamond corpse.

Imagine if you were stolen, or down the line one of your junkie greatgrand kids pawned you off. Man that would be upsetting, still I'd wanna be ablue diamond, that would be sweet.

I suck at links

Edited, Fri Jul 1 04:05:23 2005 by kaiilyn