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Got a limerick?Follow
An amorous maiden antique
Locked a man in her house for a week.
He entered the door
With a shout and a roar,
But his exit was marked with a squeak.
Oops I thought that read "Got a limp di[/i]ck?". Nevermind than.
P.S. Suck my limp di[/i]ck.
Edited, Thu Feb 24 16:14:19 2005 by mentalfrog
P.S. Suck my limp di[/i]ck.
Edited, Thu Feb 24 16:14:19 2005 by mentalfrog
There once was a man from Nantucket,
With a d[/i]ick so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear where a pu[i]ssy I'd fu[i][/i]ck it."
Twiztid
With a d[/i]ick so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear where a pu[i]ssy I'd fu[i][/i]ck it."
Twiztid
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
We need to see more of these threads...kudos katmain for bringing OOT here. Keep up the good work.
St. Patrick's Day, an excuse for people all over to get blind drunk in the name of the Irish patron Saint.
What a day.
Edited, Thu Feb 24 16:41:09 2005 by TheDave
What a day.
Edited, Thu Feb 24 16:41:09 2005 by TheDave
Kelvyquayo the Hand wrote:
Gotta love the Gaelic.
There once was a young lass from Ealing,
who had a peculiar feeling.
She lay on her back
and opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling.
There once was a Man from Nantucket
Who made it sal it and ower, wah tod tg se meobetS
...I forget how it ends, but you your mother's a *****!
Who made it sal it and ower, wah tod tg se meobetS
...I forget how it ends, but you your mother's a *****!
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Thanks for the compliment Queen.
There was a young man from Japan
Whose Limericks never would scan
When asked why that was
He said it's because
I try to fit in as many words in the last line as I possibly can
Now fu[i][/i]ck off and let's have a decent thread.
Whose Limericks never would scan
When asked why that was
He said it's because
I try to fit in as many words in the last line as I possibly can
Now fu[i][/i]ck off and let's have a decent thread.
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
These are some limericks I wrote about various posters here in the Asylum a while back (things have changed a little since these were written so they might not be quite as topical as they once were).
A government spook, Kaolian
Objecting to posters assholian
would sift throught their data
and find their errata
then virtually f*ck them cornholian
And poor androgynous Thundra
(that's one of the names she posts undra)
twas lacking a member
to determine a gender
just one of her many conundra
A clever right-winger Gbaji
whom Smash claims is overly stodgy
won't back his quotations
with any citations
which some of us find rather dodgy.
And then there's the brilliant young Smash
all filled with fire and dash
He's smarter than you
and prolly me too
but I still think that I make more cash
One cagey old fellow named Totem
(I'm rather reluctant to quote 'im)
on posters distasteful
of his time too wasteful
would take great delight as he smote 'em
A lusty latino named Skeeter
wrote odes with terrible meter
to his love, darling Flea
pledging love 'ternally
but he's broke so he can't wed or feed her
For Deathwysh all glory is fleeting
you chuckle while my limericks reading
but with my next post
you'll flame torch and roast
and give me a virtual beating.
A true ****-junkie named Pum
got high each day on fresh ***
this ***-drunk young punk
with a mouth full of *****
said "I'm Pum, I like ***, yum, yum, yum".
Oh, and my all time favorite, which I cannot take credit for;
Poor Nymphomanical Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her ******
In North Carolina
And her assh[/i]ole in Buckingham Palace
[i]Edited, Thu Feb 24 16:54:25 2005 by Deathwysh
A government spook, Kaolian
Objecting to posters assholian
would sift throught their data
and find their errata
then virtually f*ck them cornholian
And poor androgynous Thundra
(that's one of the names she posts undra)
twas lacking a member
to determine a gender
just one of her many conundra
A clever right-winger Gbaji
whom Smash claims is overly stodgy
won't back his quotations
with any citations
which some of us find rather dodgy.
And then there's the brilliant young Smash
all filled with fire and dash
He's smarter than you
and prolly me too
but I still think that I make more cash
One cagey old fellow named Totem
(I'm rather reluctant to quote 'im)
on posters distasteful
of his time too wasteful
would take great delight as he smote 'em
A lusty latino named Skeeter
wrote odes with terrible meter
to his love, darling Flea
pledging love 'ternally
but he's broke so he can't wed or feed her
For Deathwysh all glory is fleeting
you chuckle while my limericks reading
but with my next post
you'll flame torch and roast
and give me a virtual beating.
A true ****-junkie named Pum
got high each day on fresh ***
this ***-drunk young punk
with a mouth full of *****
said "I'm Pum, I like ***, yum, yum, yum".
Oh, and my all time favorite, which I cannot take credit for;
Poor Nymphomanical Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her ******
In North Carolina
And her assh[/i]ole in Buckingham Palace
[i]Edited, Thu Feb 24 16:54:25 2005 by Deathwysh
Deathwish rate-up
before I post this next thing I must point out that I hate Malcom.
that being said:
It was on the good ship venus
By christ, ya shoulda seen us
The figurehead was a ***** in bed
And the mast, a mammoth *****
The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn’t fit to shovel ****
From one place to another
The captains name was morgan
By christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day he’d stop and play
With his fu[/b]ckin’ organ
The first mate’s name was cooper
By christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor
The second mate was andy
By christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his **** on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy
The cabin boy was flipper
He was a fu[b]ckin’ ni[/b]gger
He stuffed his *** with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
The captain’s wife was mabel
To **** she was not able
So the dirty *****, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table
The captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
And by her squeals we knew the eels
Had found ’er sexual quarters
[b]Now, stop posting this ****.
Quote:
It was on the good ship venus
By christ, ya shoulda seen us
The figurehead was a ***** in bed
And the mast, a mammoth *****
The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn’t fit to shovel sh*t
From one place to another
The captains name was morgan
By christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day he’d stop and play
With his ******’ organ
The first mate’s name was cooper
By christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor
The second mate was andy
By christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his **** on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy
The cabin boy was flipper
He was a ******’ ******
He stuffed his *** with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
The captain’s wife was mabel
To @#%^ she was not able
So the dirty sh*ts, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table
The captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
And by her squeals we knew the eels
Had found ’er sexual quarters
glen matlock is a cu[i][/i]nt, and that's not a limerick
Along came a poster, Katmain
Who's topics are met with disdain
Why do you bother?
Go fu[b][/b]ck your mother
From posting I suggest you refrain
Edited, Fri Feb 25 06:58:29 2005 by Patrician
Who's topics are met with disdain
Why do you bother?
Go fu[b][/b]ck your mother
From posting I suggest you refrain
Edited, Fri Feb 25 06:58:29 2005 by Patrician
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