Definition of Cheating...Follow

I got into a serious discussion with my husband about what constitutes cheating. He is in the Navy and will be deployed later this year. Of course, if I had sexual relations with another man is definitely cheating, but my hubby through me a curve ball. He wouldn't consider that I cheated on him if I had sexual relations with another woman. Now, I don't swing both ways, and would only swing Angelina Jolie's way if I had to bed another lady. But why wouldn't he consider me being with another woman as cheating?

I went to a bachelorette party a while ago and there were a bunch of strippers (male). Of course I got my lap dances and such, but when the strippers started inviting the ladies (and some were married) to join in on some dancing, nipples appeared and bodily fluids were exchanged. That was where I drew the line and left.

I know that there's no hard and fast rule for cheating, but just wanted to get the ball rolling on a discussion. =) What would you, personally, consider cheating and could you forgive your S.O. if he/she cheated?

Because to his immature mind he is not considering all the ramifications, chick on chick action is just hot as far as he can squint while rubbing one off. If you went that rout, the second he found out you have a emotional attachment to the other woman and are not interested in a 3 way with him he will get completely bent out of shape, call you a **** and pout like a little kid who had his fantasies crushed by his mean ol' wife.

Make sure to post any videos.

no time now, but here's somthing to add....

can your partner cheat on you....with themselves??

in other words, where should you draw the line on ************* think about it... if you were sitting there.... and your partner goes and starts rubbing one out.. just curious on this... was talking about it with somone earlier...


sorry for the hi-jack..

Nice summation Jopiel.

I have a pretty significant jealous streak in me so I might balk at some stuff other guys would shrug off. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my wife getting lap dances at a bachelorette party, just as I'm sure she would feel the same way about me. As far as forgivness goes, I would like to think I could forgive and forget but I'm not so sure I would be able to do it if I actually had to.

Leaving aside the "Join in!" comments, it's certainly not cheating. It'd be more like seeing your SO sit on the couch in their underwear, biting their toenails -- do it if you must, but find a place besides the front room sofa.

If your SO prefers it over intimacy then it's a whole other set of issues.

Curiousity and envy?

Edited, Tue Feb 8 13:28:40 2005 by Jophiel

Not yooooou, Joph. Me.
I own my very own Fleagina, and the obvious accoutrements. No big whoop.

I think all men feel that way at 14, but when most enter into a longterm relationship such as marraige other factors enter into the equation as well. Emotional bonding possibly being the most significant. The girl on girl action might be "gawd damn sexy" but how sexy is it when you would like to take a vacation with your wife, or have a nice dinner and shes out with her sexy new girlfriend instead? Or you get to sleep on the couch because the other side of the bed is reserved fo the "sexy girlfriend"?

There's allot more to most successfull marraiges than the sex.

Though I understand what you're saying, xythex, I have to disagree.

Marriage is all about emotional bonding and little, if anything, about sex. If you want sex, you stay single. I follow you there.

But we're not talking about a long term lesbian relationship, we're talking about a one night stand, or something like that. We're talking about *why* a lesbian act like that isn't considered cheating by Thumbelyna's husband. Not what you think about lesbian relationships or emotional bondings for that matter.

I write too fast

Edited, Tue Feb 8 13:48:38 2005 by Mazra

No...I farmed in a cultist journal for a while, poked my head in here about six months ago, developed a serious dislike for Moe and then got a promotion and actually had work.

Edited, Tue Feb 8 13:53:11 2005 by sheebasaurusrex

Hey, it's sheeba! Hello, sheeba.

I agree with Joph's definition, for the most part... but with a twist. I think cheating is whatever your SO defines it as.

For example, so long as my husband comes home to me, loves me, dotes on me, etc., as he does now, I don't care if he's out banging the local Catholic school's girls' soccer team. I've been in long term open relationships and things like that don't bother me, aside from safety issues (but I do consider emotional attachments cheating).

However, if someone so much as had a familiar hand on my boob and I didn't move it, he would probably consider it cheating. His definitions (and moral lines) are far more strict than my own, but when we married, I agreed to live within those definitions.

Since this isn't something one can really compromise on... I'd have to say that cheating is whatever your SO thinks it is.

SHEEBA!!

And to add my worthless thoughts, regardless of how comfortable people say they would be with it (3-way), its nothing but trouble. Ask Sheeba, our sex triangle was quite the debacle.



Edited, Tue Feb 8 14:07:11 2005 by Karg

That was a SECRET sex triangle Karg.