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They were a KKK couple, having sex on acid.
...their robes weren't as starched as those that sat staring back from the mirror. Suddenly, ghastly faces started circling around the room, and looked very much like...
..turned pink with delight. The vision of Bill Cosby then started to dance a cakewalk as various articles of his ghostly clothing began to disappear. The sweating couple on the bed watched with gaping mouths as thier robes began to....
...dissolve into grains of sand that left them both with that uncomfortable beach-sex feeling.
...which effectively caused the women to get sand in her ******, turning her into Kathy Lee Gifford...
...and then a shot rang out!
The room went dark.
A sassy dame with an ostrich-feather hat stepped out of the shadows, the smoke from her russian cigarette spiraling in a sliver of moonlight breaking through the gap in my office door.
I held my breath and hoped she wouldn't notice me. Well not yet anyhow. Even though I was lit by the shadow of the frosting on my door ("Nobby. P.I."), I knew she was looking for movement.
She got just that. The Brazilian midget leapt from behind my desk and threw her to the floor. With barely a sound I stood up, pulled the waistband of my mac tight round my waist, lit a cheroot, checked my eyebrows, and with a gentle twist of his neck, silenced the latino mini-assassin.
"Anything else I can do for you Ma'am" I asked?
The dame was flustered, her bosom heaving beneath a fine Parisien Boa.
"Or may I call you. . . 'Nadenu' " I enquired, picking a piece of tobacco from the tip of my tongue
She inhaled quickly. She was clearly trying to work me out, but my face was obscured under the brim of my hat.
"Lady, if you wanna hire me it's $50 a day plus expenses. No need for any dramatic entrances" I quipped
She fell into my arms, and as I lowered her gently onto the couch, her soft musky breath close to my ear, I knew this was a broad I would see more of.
I quickly opened a pack of 'Eezi-Butt' lube and gazed at her tight pencil-skirt. This wasn't going to be as simple as I'd thought.
Apologies to Raymond Chandler and Daschiel Hammet
A sassy dame with an ostrich-feather hat stepped out of the shadows, the smoke from her russian cigarette spiraling in a sliver of moonlight breaking through the gap in my office door.
I held my breath and hoped she wouldn't notice me. Well not yet anyhow. Even though I was lit by the shadow of the frosting on my door ("Nobby. P.I."), I knew she was looking for movement.
She got just that. The Brazilian midget leapt from behind my desk and threw her to the floor. With barely a sound I stood up, pulled the waistband of my mac tight round my waist, lit a cheroot, checked my eyebrows, and with a gentle twist of his neck, silenced the latino mini-assassin.
"Anything else I can do for you Ma'am" I asked?
The dame was flustered, her bosom heaving beneath a fine Parisien Boa.
"Or may I call you. . . 'Nadenu' " I enquired, picking a piece of tobacco from the tip of my tongue
She inhaled quickly. She was clearly trying to work me out, but my face was obscured under the brim of my hat.
"Lady, if you wanna hire me it's $50 a day plus expenses. No need for any dramatic entrances" I quipped
She fell into my arms, and as I lowered her gently onto the couch, her soft musky breath close to my ear, I knew this was a broad I would see more of.
I quickly opened a pack of 'Eezi-Butt' lube and gazed at her tight pencil-skirt. This wasn't going to be as simple as I'd thought.
Apologies to Raymond Chandler and Daschiel Hammet
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Then suddenly I felt a warmth inside me that I had not felt since I had stopped drinking. Yep, that's right, I had soiled myself. I quickly, moved away from this woman called Nadenu, as I knew the stench would soon permeate my acid-wash jeans. I was in a blind panic and needed to think quickly, I turned my back and made a noise like the wind, but not the type that blows the leaves on trees.
I then whisked out the door, with not even so much as a look back. I had done it again, I had concealed my adult incontinence that had plague me through my college years...
The next morning I woke up, I quickly realized that I was still wearing the same clothes. Then the phone rang, and I thought, "Oh god, what now." I answered the phone and it was the woman called Nadenu. She asked if it was normal for me to pass wind and run out of the room, right before **** sex. I said that it was, since it was still early and was the best that I could do. She asked if I wanted to pick up where we left off. I said that I did, so she said we were to meet back at the office at 11:00am. I agreed. It was now 9:30, I decided that I would have to protect myself from any further incontinence. I just needed a plan.
First, I had a shower and changed into some clean underwear. I felt like a million bucks. I went downstairs to the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of wine, I removed the cork, and then re-inserted it. I then took a big swig from the bottle of wine, as I find it helps my stamina in sexual relations. Having finished the bottle of wine, it appeared to me that I was on top of the world, which was a little scary, since I am afraid of heights. I looked at myself at the mirror, you could hardly differentiate me from the other humans, which caused me to say aloud, “Now I am ready!”. But ready for what, had I only known what was to unfold that day….
meh, I am an engineer, not a writer, I have never been very good at this sort of thing.
Edited, Sun Jan 30 17:39:07 2005 by Reinman
I then whisked out the door, with not even so much as a look back. I had done it again, I had concealed my adult incontinence that had plague me through my college years...
The next morning I woke up, I quickly realized that I was still wearing the same clothes. Then the phone rang, and I thought, "Oh god, what now." I answered the phone and it was the woman called Nadenu. She asked if it was normal for me to pass wind and run out of the room, right before **** sex. I said that it was, since it was still early and was the best that I could do. She asked if I wanted to pick up where we left off. I said that I did, so she said we were to meet back at the office at 11:00am. I agreed. It was now 9:30, I decided that I would have to protect myself from any further incontinence. I just needed a plan.
First, I had a shower and changed into some clean underwear. I felt like a million bucks. I went downstairs to the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of wine, I removed the cork, and then re-inserted it. I then took a big swig from the bottle of wine, as I find it helps my stamina in sexual relations. Having finished the bottle of wine, it appeared to me that I was on top of the world, which was a little scary, since I am afraid of heights. I looked at myself at the mirror, you could hardly differentiate me from the other humans, which caused me to say aloud, “Now I am ready!”. But ready for what, had I only known what was to unfold that day….
meh, I am an engineer, not a writer, I have never been very good at this sort of thing.
Edited, Sun Jan 30 17:39:07 2005 by Reinman
Would you believe a DDP?
Meanwhile, in a car parked in the shadows of a nearby alley...
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