My first time...Follow

Next time you shoot heroin, try using a vein, and not a muscle, dumb ***.

Skip the Japanese condoms next time.




...I'm serious. My boyfriend couldn't figure out why it hurt, and it turned out the condom was too small. The Japanese "large" condoms they had at the school pharmacy were smaller than the regular Durex/Trojan kind. (OMGLOL!!) We had to actually pay for condoms after that rather than getting the free ones from the university.

most physicians and radio personalities (and especially people who are both) agree that any muscle pain, ache, etc, even after the first time, is about a 90% indicator that you have contracted at least four of the following diseases:

Hep C, HIV, Gonorrhea, Herpes, HPV, pregnancy, homosexuality, late-onset SIDS, meningitis, conservativism, the common cold, e coli, avian influenza, mad cow disease, anthrax, mesothelioma, multiple sclerosis, communism, whooping cough.

at least half of them have cures, at least. good luck.

Edited, Mon Jan 24 13:06:33 2005 by RolloX

haha i think its funny how the FFXIers think they OWN alla...and everything revolves arounf FFXI.

It's starting to get better now, it doesn't hurt whenever i sit down...

I suppose i did something wrong, i'll have to go watch some **** to figure it out.

Oh and to why i posted it on an 'FFXI' board?

1. I wasn't sure if the side-effect i had was normal and i don't particularly feel like walking up to my parents (with a slight limp) and explain that i was feeling twinges of pain after fu[/b]cking my girlfriend for the first time.

2. I am somewhat proud at the grand old age of 17 to join the ranks of Normal people.

So, you were deviginized, is that the deal? Was she lubed enough? You might be suffering from dry sex. And if it is muscle pain, yeah, you did something worng. You want to put it in her c[b][/b]unt, Walker, not any other orfice.

BTW, foreplay is good. It will help you out next time. Either that, or add more vaseline to your blow up girl friend.









JK hon gratz!

edited because Allas doesn't like feminine parts

Edited, Mon Jan 24 13:20:36 2005 by deadsidedemon

30 min foreplay minimum requirement for a happy girlfriend.

Believe me invest your time wisely and you will see the return.

Dry sex is especially painful when you have the ****** that is the same texture as that of a dehydrated 80 year old ***** with a wicked yeast infection.

Isnt that right DsD?

Send your husband my condolences

Edited, Mon Jan 24 13:33:39 2005 by bhodisattva

well i was slightly experimental with positions, even my first time. it sounds like you went a little too far though. The "Flying Squirrel", for instance, is only for accomplished veterans, as is the "Free-Falling Rhino". While two of my favorite positions now, I would've expected nothing but pain trying these early on.

So you mean throwing a pail of water on her and then dry humping her isnt foreplay?

Edited, Mon Jan 24 13:45:13 2005 by bhodisattva

Exactly. Now that you know what you're doing wrong you can attempt to remedy the situation. Might I suggest perusing the link Foreplay Tips and Techniques? While I havent actually read it, the name sounds promising. I do hope you find some interesting techniques to apply to your girlfriend.

Tip for you coming from a woman = cold water wont do it.

True dat

Apparently boiling water doesnt work either