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How clean are you?Follow

#27 Jan 21 2005 at 1:59 PM Rating: Good
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On an almost daily basis, I see pics of the lining of the bowels. It's called colonoscopy. I have even gazed upon the wonder that is my own colon. I was unimpressed. Not a trace of the prime rib I had the week before or even the pork chop I had the day after that.


generally speaking, a colonoscopy requires a 2 day clear liquid diet and a gallon or so of nulytuly to make it sparkeling clean beforehand.
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#28 Jan 21 2005 at 2:23 PM Rating: Excellent
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I think that was their point. The quote is out of context of the original thread but the discussion was about how long stuff stayed in your system. People were quoting New Age articles saying that we had four pounds of meat or that the intestinal walls were covered with a quarter inch of "plaque" composed to layered and hardened fecal matter, etc. Stuff that 48 hours of water isn't going to wash away -- you need Dr. Wong's Oriental Red Tea Remedy or whatever to break it down and flush is out.

The fact that a colonoscopy allows you to examine the intestinal wall after a brief preparation period (that doesn't include three foot long yellow **** worms and the like) would imply that your colon isn't coated with a crust of fifteen year old beef fat.
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#29 Jan 21 2005 at 2:25 PM Rating: Decent
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hot parafin wax enemas anyone? buy one get one free!
#30 Jan 21 2005 at 2:51 PM Rating: Decent
Some people just have too much time on their hands. To think that cleaning out your bowels could even enter in this forum is an interesting concept.

Edited, Fri Jan 21 14:52:45 2005 by Drayfitt
#31 Jan 21 2005 at 3:02 PM Rating: Decent
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I ended up going with Magnesium Citrate last night. I bought a jug of the store for almost nothing at the pharmecy while I was shopping. Im saving this bad boy for this weekend, because I really dont wont to take this stuff and then have to go to work.

That would be pretty embarrasing I think.

The point of my thread was just to point out some stuff about keeping yourself healthy. Sorry if it came across as a

"This weekend Im doing so and so"

That truly was not the intention. I came across that site out of nowhere and it freaked me out a bit, rofl. Plus Ive read in numerous place that cleaning yourself out can actually help to lose weight by clearing out the toxins in your body.

#32 Jan 21 2005 at 3:08 PM Rating: Good
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mmm Magnesium Citrate. Did you get cherry or lime? Anyway good luck drinking that whole bottle, it looks little but it gets allot bigger once it hits your tounge. Imagine a glass of 7up with about 10 tablespoons of salt stirred in. Anyway, don't make any plans for the rest of that day and maybe the rest of the weekend.
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#33 Jan 21 2005 at 3:27 PM Rating: Decent
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This sounds rather intriguing. I've had digestive and eliminatory problems for a pretty long time. Especially lately since I got sick and was taking antibiotics (erythromycin I think) but I think my colon could stand a good cleansing.

And imagine playing Battle Sh[b][/b]its with all that stuff loosened up!
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#34 Jan 21 2005 at 3:30 PM Rating: Good
You'll likely lose weight, but it will be due to dehydration. People who sh[i][/i]it themselves to death in one form or another die of dehydration.

As to whether you NEED all of the water your body is currently retaining; that's another argument entirely. When your alimentary canal has its emergency evacuation drill, you'll lose a lot of the things that help your body retain water as well. I suggest drinking as much as you feel like your body wants. Gatorade would be a good idea. BTW, have fun with the weekend project, heh.

#35 Jan 21 2005 at 3:31 PM Rating: Decent
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I also want to have "awesome adventures in the bathroom!"
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#36 Jan 22 2005 at 1:53 PM Rating: Decent
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Well in a couple hours Ill be starting my ever so fun adventurer with Magnesium citrate. Im sure Ill be in pain for hours and when im done ill feel like Gandi.

Before I go to my death, does anyone else have any health tips theyd like to share.

Been looking for years now for something that would clear my face up, Im not exactly covered in zits or anythign like that but I tend to have just plain oily skin which makes it so I have to wash my face every two hours or so, bad habit I developed years ago.

See you guys on Monday.
#37 Jan 22 2005 at 1:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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Did you remember to buy toilet paper?
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#38 Jan 22 2005 at 2:29 PM Rating: Decent
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Actually I prefer the three seashells
#39 Jan 22 2005 at 5:28 PM Rating: Decent
Good luck Zadiel!

I went out to the shopping center to get Battle for Middle Earth, and figured I might as well jump on the popular bandwagon and get some of this stuff. Got a twin pack of fleet enemas, and a bottle of "Super Colon Cleanse" (Now with herbs and Acidophilus!!!).

I figure I'll fast for a few days, pop the colon cleansers, then flush out stuff with the enemas. I've never put anything in my *** so I'm a bit worried about that. Went for some inoffensive-looking bottles instead of a few yards of hose or whatever the alternative is. I hope this is a good plan, and can't wait to see what I've been saving up in my intestines for years! Or if it's all bunk maybe it'll have a placebo effect. Hm, I just realized the colon cleansers aren't a laxative, maybe I'd better get a laxative too.

I wonder if Elrond ever cleansed his bowels? After 4000 or whatever years I bet he had some awesome stuff in there.
#40 Jan 24 2005 at 11:46 AM Rating: Decent
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I must have the Bowells of Superman

Sunday morning I woke up around 8 AM and downed an entire jug of Magnesium Citrate. I drank water pretty much all day was literally watering the flowers more than a garden hose.

Yet my bowells have yet to consent to the chemical torture I showered it with. Im kinda disapointed, its like dipping your GI Goe into hydrochloric acid and having nothing happen.

Anyone in here ever had to use Magnesium Citrate before?
Should I be expecting a fourth of July celebration later today or tonight?
#41 Jan 24 2005 at 12:03 PM Rating: Decent
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I wonder if Elrond ever cleansed his bowels?


I'm sure the food of Imladris was a bit more easily passable and possibly treated with some ancient magical Beleriandic spices to promote easy digestion.


Quote:
the three seashells

..and how the hell DO those work?
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#42 Jan 31 2005 at 9:02 PM Rating: Decent
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So...has anyone done their bowel-cleansing yet?
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publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#43 Jan 31 2005 at 9:07 PM Rating: Good
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Lol, and here I was thinking that there was some new technique out there called bowell cleansing and did some tantric scrubbing of my aura or something. It was only after re-reading it several times that I realised it was a typo.

/smacks his forehead

Totem
#44 Jan 31 2005 at 9:45 PM Rating: Decent
Debalic wrote:
So...has anyone done their bowel-cleansing yet?


Not me, I tried to fast but couldn't stop eating. I blame it on a risk-aversion attempt at avoiding sticking something in my ***, which I'm very hesitant to do. I'll try again sometime though, I'm curious at the benefits it'll have, if any. But an *****--Jesus Christ, there's gotta be a better way. :(
#45 Jan 31 2005 at 9:55 PM Rating: Good
My bowels move just fine without using Castrol GTX to fight thermal breakdown, thanks.
#46 Feb 01 2005 at 1:43 AM Rating: Decent
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Just drink coffee every mornin'. Works for me. Smiley: wink




Btw Elvis had problems w/ his colon cuz of drugs. Sleeping pills, I think. Lots of downers and pain killers play havoc w/ your pipes. The deep-friend peanut butter and banana sammiches affected his heart pipes. Apparently on his throne, clenching down real hard to deal with the one pipe problem, he blew out the artery-clogged other ones.

I agree that it's a myth that most people die w/ 40 pounds of undigested meat in their colon. It just doesn't track. It's what charlatans use to part people w/ their pocketbooks.

At least Mr. Huckleberry didn't go to some new age crystal worshipping ex-hippy colonic freak. He did it the manly way! Here's to yah ... er ... how the hell ya make a "thumbs up" sign w/ keystrokes...?
#47 Feb 01 2005 at 3:36 AM Rating: Decent
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Well I failed.

I was expecting this to rip me a new one(pardon the expression) but all I got was some bad gas.

Perhaps My body has built up so much immunity over the years that it will take something stronger than puny Magnesium Citrate.
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