Recently I have been reading bowell cleansing and quite frankly from what I have read I am both disgusted and amazed.
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Im probably going to be doing a cleanse this weekend. I dont think I will ever be able to eat again after reading about this.
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I've had some really bad stomach aches for the last couple of years. Not every day but once every few months. Some friends of mine recommended bowel cleansing as a way to alleviate it. I was reading a random website that said Elvis' colon weighed something like 50-60 pounds due to excess fecal matter. I think cleansing is good for anyone.
I actually read some where that Elvis died of that too. My biggest concern is that link I put on there show that you more than likely have parasites inside you eating at all the vitamins your putting in your body.
I think if something came out of me that was more than a foot I would probably scream like a little girl. Thats just not something Im prepared to go through with in life as of yet I think.
Im buying some Laxative for this weekend then flushing myself out. After that I may even invest in one of the long term flushing kits.
The fact that something the size of a snake could be inside me gives me fricking shivers.
Why do I feel a FTFY coming down the pipe.
Edited, Thu Jan 20 20:00:54 2005 by Zadiel
I think if something came out of me that was more than a foot I would probably scream like a little girl. Thats just not something Im prepared to go through with in life as of yet I think.
Im buying some Laxative for this weekend then flushing myself out. After that I may even invest in one of the long term flushing kits.
The fact that something the size of a snake could be inside me gives me fricking shivers.
Why do I feel a FTFY coming down the pipe.
Edited, Thu Jan 20 20:00:54 2005 by Zadiel
Kind of gross, but probably really good for you. As most gross things are.
I've never been under the impression that I sould be able to stick a flashlight in my mouth and simultaneously shoot a sunbeam out of my ***.
You can try to sh[i][/i]it yourself to death if you like, but I'll let my poo work its way out on its own schedule, thank you. I'm a once-a-day man already; that sort of bowel stimulation would likely force me to use vacation days.
As far as parasites go, I detached the largest one ever just over a year ago. At just over 115 lbs, she was draining every bit of life from my wallet.
You can try to sh[i][/i]it yourself to death if you like, but I'll let my poo work its way out on its own schedule, thank you. I'm a once-a-day man already; that sort of bowel stimulation would likely force me to use vacation days.
As far as parasites go, I detached the largest one ever just over a year ago. At just over 115 lbs, she was draining every bit of life from my wallet.
Psyllium Husks, try it and mix it with water and cranberry juice. You will have regularity like bus load of seniors leaving the Metamucil factory tour eating apples.
Be wary of these alternative medicine sites they do push alot of snake ****, I mean oil.
Be wary of these alternative medicine sites they do push alot of snake ****, I mean oil.
I was eating steak when I pulled up that link...
That's all I'm gonna say
That's all I'm gonna say
Ya know, maybe I'm just **** retentive, but something was bugging me about this thread, so I had to reread it.
I found the problem:
Look, I know the Asylum has been a bit slower than the election buildup days, but for cryin out loud. Has it really come to this? Not 'I have to wash my hair this weekend.'
Not 'I'm gonna go get stinking drunk, cuz there's nothing else to do.'
Not even 'I broke down and banged my ex, just cuz I knew I could.'
Nope, it's 'I think I'll give the ole alimentary canal a good scrubbing this weekend. I think I'll let everyone know what my plans are.'
Fu[/i]ck. Fu[i]ck. Fuc[/i]kety fu[i]ck fu[/i]ck fu[i]ck. Christ.
I found the problem:
Quote:
Im buying some Laxative for this weekend then flushing myself out.
Look, I know the Asylum has been a bit slower than the election buildup days, but for cryin out loud. Has it really come to this? Not 'I have to wash my hair this weekend.'
Not 'I'm gonna go get stinking drunk, cuz there's nothing else to do.'
Not even 'I broke down and banged my ex, just cuz I knew I could.'
Nope, it's 'I think I'll give the ole alimentary canal a good scrubbing this weekend. I think I'll let everyone know what my plans are.'
Fu[/i]ck. Fu[i]ck. Fuc[/i]kety fu[i]ck fu[/i]ck fu[i]ck. Christ.
Quote:
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Twiztid
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Here's some fun reading
On another forum this topic came up and someone from the medical professions wrote:
Bullsh[b][/b]it.
On an almost daily basis, I see pics of the lining of the bowels. It's called colonoscopy. I have even gazed upon the wonder that is my own colon. I was unimpressed. Not a trace of the prime rib I had the week before or even the pork chop I had the day after that.
Unless you suffer from severe obstipation or possibly diverticuli, nothing is still in your colon a week after you eat it.
Take it or leave it.
On another forum this topic came up and someone from the medical professions wrote:
Bullsh[b][/b]it.
On an almost daily basis, I see pics of the lining of the bowels. It's called colonoscopy. I have even gazed upon the wonder that is my own colon. I was unimpressed. Not a trace of the prime rib I had the week before or even the pork chop I had the day after that.
Unless you suffer from severe obstipation or possibly diverticuli, nothing is still in your colon a week after you eat it.
Take it or leave it.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Quote:
"How could anyone fully enjoy sex when he has up to 15 years of encrusted fecal matter and mucus in his colon?" asked Irons. "HE CAN'T - and HE WON'T. If you want to remain sexually potent for your entire life, start cleaning your colon today. I'm 87, and I still enjoy sex. And if I can at my age, I know you can at your age... so get on with it!"
SEXAY!!
Quote:
"Great pooing," said Roy from San Francisco, "the best month of my young life."
And I thought I had fun at summer camp!
This looks like the same crap that they use to sell De-Toxification tablets on infomercials.
Just eat a lot of fiber daily. And if you can't get a lot in, eat oatmeal every day. Keeps everything moving along nicely.
zadiel foolishly wrote:
I think if something came out of me that was more than a foot I would probably scream like a little girl.
we'll test this out tonight man. most scream on the way in tho
Eat your green veggies and you'll see you wont be needing a damn pump up your *** to "cleanse".
And for the doctor who said nothing sits in your colon, its true. The only thing thats in your colon is the sh*t that's waiting to come out.
FIBER, can be found in lettuce, broccoli, spinash, anything GREEN.
And for the doctor who said nothing sits in your colon, its true. The only thing thats in your colon is the sh*t that's waiting to come out.
FIBER, can be found in lettuce, broccoli, spinash, anything GREEN.
This cracked me up
So if your a living, breathing, human being; you have at least 1 symptom of self posoning. And to think she has a PHD and made millions off of that book. Kind of reminds me of Suzy Orman's financial advice.
Edited, Fri Jan 21 08:56:38 2005 by Kronig
Quote:
“If you experience any of the following symptoms, you may be experiencing autointoxication (a process whereby you are poisoned by substances produced by your own body as a result of inadequate digestion and elimination), and therefore you might want to consider some type of internal cleansing program:
Allergy or intolerance to certain foods
Bad breath and foul-smelling gas and stools
Constipation, diarrhea, sluggish elimination, irregular bowel movements
Frequent congestion, colds, viruses
Flatulence or gas and frequent intestinal disorders
Frequent headaches for no apparent reason
General aches and pains that migrate from one place to another
Intolerance to fatty foods
Low energy; loss of vitality for no apparent reason
Lower back pain
Lowered resistance to infections
Needing to sleep a long time
Pain in your liver or gall bladder
Premenstrual syndrome (PMS), breast soreness, vaginal infections
Skin problems, rashes, boils, pimples, acne
Allergy or intolerance to certain foods
Bad breath and foul-smelling gas and stools
Constipation, diarrhea, sluggish elimination, irregular bowel movements
Frequent congestion, colds, viruses
Flatulence or gas and frequent intestinal disorders
Frequent headaches for no apparent reason
General aches and pains that migrate from one place to another
Intolerance to fatty foods
Low energy; loss of vitality for no apparent reason
Lower back pain
Lowered resistance to infections
Needing to sleep a long time
Pain in your liver or gall bladder
Premenstrual syndrome (PMS), breast soreness, vaginal infections
Skin problems, rashes, boils, pimples, acne
So if your a living, breathing, human being; you have at least 1 symptom of self posoning. And to think she has a PHD and made millions off of that book. Kind of reminds me of Suzy Orman's financial advice.
Edited, Fri Jan 21 08:56:38 2005 by Kronig
is it in bad taste to make the "butt hurt" joke about proofsock's attitude/condition? oh well, too late now
Quote:
But going to the bathroom once every few days, sitting there straining for half an hour and passing black, hard pebbles that drop to the bottom is not only abnormal, it is also serious trouble waiting to happen.
uhhh gag heeeaaave
damn
I find that lots of coffee does the trick.
just one more reason to smoke, too.
Fu[b][/b]cking yuck.
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