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#1 Jan 10 2005 at 1:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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I read this article today and the excuses listed made me laugh.

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some of the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work.

I was sprayed by a skunk.

I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.

My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.

I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.

I forgot to come back to work after lunch.

I couldn't find my shoes.

I hurt myself bowling.

I was spit on by a venomous snake.

I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.

A hitman was looking for me.

My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.

I eloped.

My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.

My cat unplugged my alarm clock.

I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.

I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.

I forgot what day of the week it was.

Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.

A tree fell on my car.

My monkey died.

Enjoy Smiley: smile
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#2 Jan 10 2005 at 2:48 PM Rating: Good
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My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.


Most of you could plead that.


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I forgot what day of the week it was.


Ah, the joys of working from home and self employment. Forgetting what day of the week it is, is not a good thing, it means I worked all weekend and didn't realise it was Monday again.

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#3 Jan 10 2005 at 2:52 PM Rating: Decent
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Gitslayer wrote:
Ah, the joys of working from home and self employment. Forgetting what day of the week it is, is not a good thing, it means I worked all weekend and didn't realise it was Monday again.


That is kind of scary, how do you stay organized if you can't remember the day of the week? Self-employed people need to be more organized than most there Gitty-boy. Smiley: disappointed
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#4 Jan 10 2005 at 2:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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Maybe we should turn this into the-

What's your best excuse? thread.

Would be entertaining methinks, especially considering some posters employment field.
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#6 Jan 10 2005 at 3:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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I personally horde my sick days like a miser but it occurs to me that having a kid gives a lot of lee-way for staying home. No need to fake a cough when you can call in fresh and chipper and say "The kid's got a fever of 105.. see you tomorrow!"
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#8 Jan 10 2005 at 3:37 PM Rating: Decent
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Funniest one I ever heard firsthand was my brother calling in back when he was working at a grocery store.

"I can't come in to work today. My pants are in the wash."

He hung up sadly and said "It didn't work."

I laughed so hard.
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#9 Jan 10 2005 at 3:38 PM Rating: Decent
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Sorry can't make it in busy burying the wife in the tulips, but I'll be there tomrrow. (smiley here)

Listening to The Golden Palominos (dead inside) and smoking and reading Transmet, God life can be good again...
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#10 Jan 10 2005 at 3:53 PM Rating: Good
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Gitty-boy? You need to check your pants son, I think they may be constricting the blood to your brain, you can come up with cute little endurements for me when you have bought me dinner and a diamond ring.


War wrote:
What do you do for a living anyways Git? I always pictured a lawnmower or a used car dealership.


I work in the construction Engineering field as a Designer and Draftsman. I can be self employed because I am one of a handful of people who know anything at all about the very narrow field of Methane Gas Mitigation. To put that in English: I design the systems that go under and in buildings, that are to be built on or near land fills, old oil fields or and other place of naturally occurring methane gas, so that they can not accumulate any amounts of the methane gas inside the structure. To put it in Totemese: I make it so you don't go boom when you light a cigarette.
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#11 Jan 10 2005 at 3:59 PM Rating: Excellent
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I called in absent from another state once. Kind of a long story.
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#12 Jan 10 2005 at 4:00 PM Rating: Decent
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Gitty-boy wrote:
Gitty-boy? You need to check your pants son, I think they may be constricting the blood to your brain, you can come up with cute little endurements for me when you have bought me dinner and a diamond ring.


Gitty-boy wrote:
To put it in Totemese: I make it so you don't go boom when you light a cigarette.


LMAO X 2. Thanks for that and...

I can only afford Smiley: boozing and Smiley: flowers Smiley: inlove

Gitslayer wrote:
I can be self employed because I am one of a handful of people who know anything at all about the very narrow field of Methane Gas Mitigation.


Small world, I wrote software that accepts data from dataloggers and graphs it to analyse close interval potential survey data for corrosion analysts. Sorta related being gas pipes and all.
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#13 Jan 10 2005 at 4:08 PM Rating: Decent
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SamiraX wrote:
I called in absent from another state once. Kind of a long story.

I've done that, a few times actually.
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#14 Jan 10 2005 at 4:19 PM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
SamiraX wrote:
I called in absent from another state once. Kind of a long story.

I've done that, a few times actually.


I quit my extra holiday job at EB Games over the phone from NJ. I work in FL. I was supposed to work that night and I was still in the airport in NJ waiting for my flight. Should've given a few days for notice but the manager took it well. Kinda nice to have that feeling with extra jobs that you can just quit whenever you want. I was praying for some customer to give me a reason to go out with a bang.
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#15 Jan 10 2005 at 4:28 PM Rating: Default
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The one time I called in sick that I remember was quite disturbing. It wasn't a special excuse, just your average "I feel ******". I woke up, kind of ****** feeling, and I really wanted to jack off. I don't know why, but I said, **** it, I'm going to call in sick, and jack off all day. I did. When I got in the next day, my boss called me into his office and said he had a feeling that I wasn't sick. He said,"You don't call in sick just because you want to jack off all day, you got a responsibility." (I was crew leader at Subway.) You can imagine how I couldn't help but to laugh and say,"That's funny. But man, I really was sick yesterday." I was friggin paranoid at my own house for a week.
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#16 Jan 10 2005 at 4:41 PM Rating: Decent
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I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


Sadly, this happened to my mothers S.O. while he was at work. Later he was let go because, even though it wasn't him the police were after, it made a bad image of him being escorted out of the restraunt he worked in in front of customers.

I love being self employed and working evenings. If I need to call in sick, I just call my clients for the day and let them know. Since I'm pretty professional all the time, they know if I'm calling in sick, or that it is snowing too hard for it to be safe for us to drive in, that I'm being legit and they have no issues.




where's my coffee?

Edited, Mon Jan 10 16:42:17 2005 by deadsidedemon
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#17 Jan 10 2005 at 4:44 PM Rating: Decent
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Sadly, this happened to my mothers S.O. while he was at work. Later he was let go because, even though it wasn't him the police were after, it made a bad image of him being escorted out of the restraunt he worked in in front of customers.


Who does one sue in such a case? The restaurant or the police? That is ******** that a completely innocent person's life is messed with for no good reason what-so-ever. Smiley: oyvey
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#18 Jan 10 2005 at 4:48 PM Rating: Decent
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TBH I dont know. (shrug). I told him he had a case (he's not the brightest cookie in the cookie jar but he's still a nice guy) and I didn't push it. It was up to him to take action, and he usually lets things go. This was about a year ago, and ih aven't heard anything back, but if it had been me, I would be sitting on a lot of money right now.
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#19 Jan 10 2005 at 8:01 PM Rating: Good
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I was supposed to work a Saturday nightshift, but myself and my wife went to a friend's engagement party and one or two or maybe 15 beers later i am nice and pissed and in no state to go to work.

So I phone work, get the Afternoon Co-ordinator and inform him in slured, drunkenese that I am: "At an Engagement party, pissed as a fart and won't be in to work tonight. Put me down for a sicky."
Then I get the bright idea to go to work.
My Wife drives me, we have an agruement on the way, she gets booked for speeding and I end up sleeping the night at work and getting a lift home in the morning.

Calling in sick is great now, sinse work got an answering machine. You just have to leave your name, shift and work area and whether you are sick, taking family or whatever.
Talking to a machine = no guilty feeling at all.

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#20 Jan 11 2005 at 1:47 AM Rating: Default
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ahhh, the joys of being retired(and under thirty)
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