A comment in another thread got me thinking; we all have stories of great sex, times when you think back and just chuckle to yourself, but what about bad sex? I'm not talking about the time somebody walked in on you, or the time she farted on you while spooning, but has anybody ever had just horrible sex, the kind that makes you want to be done with it so you can just move on?
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Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
In my life I've had 2 kinds of sex. Good and better. 
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome. ~River Tam
Sedao
Sedao
Haven't experienced bad sex before. I can't imagine there is such a thing, mabye with you twiztid... that would be horrible and terrifying.
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Haven't experienced bad sex before. I can't imagine there is such a thing, mabye with you twiztid... that would be horrible and terrifying.
What about that time you gave yourself a papercut, or the time you were at it so long it started to chafe, or how about the time the Sears catalog fell out of your hand ...right ...when ...you ...wherealmostDONE! ...and it fell open to the mens underwear section?
Sorry, but I've never even heqard of such a creature.
Whilst I have regretted many a relationship, I can't think of a single fu[i][/i]ck I've wanted to take back. Nor do I know anyone who has made such a claim.
That inlcudes one chap I know who was cornered in the shallow end of a swimming pool by a 5 foot tall 350lb beast.....with witnesses. Chatty, verbose, believable witnesses. He just blushes and grins these days if it's brought up.
Whilst I have regretted many a relationship, I can't think of a single fu[i][/i]ck I've wanted to take back. Nor do I know anyone who has made such a claim.
That inlcudes one chap I know who was cornered in the shallow end of a swimming pool by a 5 foot tall 350lb beast.....with witnesses. Chatty, verbose, believable witnesses. He just blushes and grins these days if it's brought up.
I'll quote a great Scotsman, who once said:
"There be Whisky, an' there be gud Whisky, but there be nae such thin as bad Whisky."
Substitute 'sex' for 'whisky' (come to think of it, I have done just that) and there you have it.
"There be Whisky, an' there be gud Whisky, but there be nae such thin as bad Whisky."
Substitute 'sex' for 'whisky' (come to think of it, I have done just that) and there you have it.
TwiztidSamurai wrote:
A comment in another thread got me thinking; we all have stories of great sex, times when you think back and just chuckle to yourself, but what about bad sex? I'm not talking about the time somebody walked in on you, or the time she farted on you while spooning, but has anybody ever had just horrible sex, the kind that makes you want to be done with it so you can just move on?
Twiztid
Twiztid
I'm sure there are guys in prison who could answer in the affirmative.
Bad sex occurs when you awaken from your stupor to discover you will require a forklift to remove last nite's conquest.
I had one girl just lay there the whole time. At one point I stopped to check if she fell asleep. She didn't. At that point, I started thinking it was me. Then I realized I didn't really care about the girl and had no intention of sleeping with her again, so I thought "who cares?" and finished up.
But I don't think you could say it was "bad". Just not that good.
But I don't think you could say it was "bad". Just not that good.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Quote:
I had one girl just lay there the whole time. At one point I stopped to check if she fell asleep. She didn't. At that point, I started thinking it was me. Then I realized I didn't really care about the girl and had no intention of sleeping with her again, so I thought "who cares?" and finished up.
But I don't think you could say it was "bad". Just not that good.
But I don't think you could say it was "bad". Just not that good.
Lemme guess, good ole missionary style.
You boring fu[i][/i]ck. Literally.
Yes, i've been there. I dated a really, really conservative girl. Me, being a little kinky, was extremely bored when everything but missionary was practically outlawed. Appearantly god says oral sex is the devil, and her being on top would result in her being cast into some pit of fire.
This also helped lead to me becoming an athiest, lol.
This also helped lead to me becoming an athiest, lol.
Quote:
You boring fu[i][/i]ck. Literally.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Does movie sex count?
Cuz once or twice I've had 'Gone in 60 Seconds.'
Followed immediately by 'Sleepers.'
Cuz once or twice I've had 'Gone in 60 Seconds.'
Followed immediately by 'Sleepers.'
I had not only bad sex, but awful sex. Before Skeet's time,I had broken up with an ex, saw him at a party and felt bad for him. It had been a while and I figured it was still safe so I let my little Flea do the thinking. Bad idea.
The whole time we were at it he was crying about how we should have gotten back together, and I was wishing he would finish so I could leave and dip myself in acid.
Edit for typos.
Edited, Fri Dec 24 17:45:34 2004 by Atomicflea
The whole time we were at it he was crying about how we should have gotten back together, and I was wishing he would finish so I could leave and dip myself in acid.
Edit for typos.
Edited, Fri Dec 24 17:45:34 2004 by Atomicflea
Oh. And here I was so naive to think you were just going to mention the Skeeter and leave it at that, Flea, 'cuz that was going to be my contribution to this thread. My bad for presuming to know where you are going with your stories. Carry on with your acid bath.
Totem
Totem
No way, dude. Skeet rocks me like a hurricane.
Quote:
No way, dude. Skeet rocks me like a hurricane.
He has a lot of wind?
I have had bad sex, in fact I would classify it as the worst sex I have ever had. I was seeing this guy, and couldn't decide if I really wanted to keep dating him or not. I had a momentary lapse of judgement, and decided to sleep with him to help make up my mind!
His idea of foreplay made sandpaper seem smooth. I have never been so glad to get dressed and go home as I was that night.
His idea of foreplay made sandpaper seem smooth. I have never been so glad to get dressed and go home as I was that night.
I had sex with some lass where it seemed like a good idea starting out but then I just really wasn't into it at all. Even for the whole "no such thing as bad sex" thing, I'd have been just as happy (if not happier) to have been reading the paper. I think I eventually just made some pseudo-happy noises, faked an ****** and wrapped it all up.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Quote:
I think I eventually just made some pseudo-happy noises, faked an ****** and wrapped it all up.
You woman, you.
I once had a fellow whose erect ***** was as big as my thumb - unbeknownst to me before we got it on.
Needless to say, once was definitely enough. I couldn't even tell anything was happening and just politely smiled when it was over.
Needless to say, once was definitely enough. I couldn't even tell anything was happening and just politely smiled when it was over.
Do I know you?
Quote:
Do I know you?
Is Chris Cornell of Soundgarden your cousin?
Adiemus wrote:
I'll quote a great Scotsman, who once said:
"There be Whisky, an' there be gud Whisky, but there be nae such thin as bad Whisky."
Substitute 'sex' for 'whisky' (come to think of it, I have done just that) and there you have it.
"There be Whisky, an' there be gud Whisky, but there be nae such thin as bad Whisky."
Substitute 'sex' for 'whisky' (come to think of it, I have done just that) and there you have it.
having had both, sex and whiskey that is; it's certainly possible to have bad of either.
Edited, Sat Dec 25 01:30:01 2004 by Illia
--Illia
Fumus, draco magus incoluit mare.
Myrx - 70 Holy Priest, Myr - 70 Resto Shaman, Gryd - 70 Prot Warrior
Fumus, draco magus incoluit mare.
Myrx - 70 Holy Priest, Myr - 70 Resto Shaman, Gryd - 70 Prot Warrior
My first time was really bad. I was in cancune Mexico the summer I graduated from high school and I hooked up with some guy and by the end of the week, we did our thing. Let me just say that it was bad. Really bad. It hurt a bit, I was sore for the entire plane ride home. . . It just wasn't good.
I'm gay! If the sex isn't any good, then it's just a pain in the. . . well, you know what I'm saying.
I'm gay! If the sex isn't any good, then it's just a pain in the. . . well, you know what I'm saying.
i think it's a gender question. girls seem to say they have had bad sex before or at least not enjoyed it. as for men, not really such a thing, it always feels good ^^ (unless she bites down @_@)
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