Why did they have to mess it upFollow

Everything I as a complete and utter geek/nerd, love has been raped beyond imagining in the last couple years.


Star Wars
I think the most glaring and obvious example is Star Wars. The holy trilogy was first molested by a re-imagining by its creator Lucas, then it was raped harder than Desiree Washington by Mike Tyson, when Lucas put out the monstrosities that are the Prologues.

They make Darth Vader, the most evil and bad *** mother fu[/u]cker in the galaxy into a whiny ***** who has a bad hair cut and moans for the entire second movie.

I dont think I even have to mention Jar Jar and the over abundance of sh[u]itty CGI aliens that look like ***. Fu[/u]ck, they even took Yoda, and put him in a scene reminiscent of Mogwai going Rambo in Gremlins 2. That might be cool if you are a ******* victim of down syndrome but otherwise its gheyer than George Michaels in a greek bathhouse.

[u]Star Trek

Once again with the fu[/b]cking prequel that rapes the sh[b]it out of one of the pillars of Sci-Fi. If the prequel status wasnt a huge beacon of shi[/b]ttiness they have Scott Bakula of Quantum leap fame... actually scrap [b]fame and replace with TV mediocrity.

Its Captain Sam Becket minus Al and Ziggy, you know, the ****** computer that never works when you need it and looks like a broken rubix cube. Even though they managed to procure the viewership of the entire quantam leap fan club they forgot to remember that it only consisted of a smattering of lonely housewives and an extremely small corner of the already inconsequential "dorks that like cancelled TV shows that were never that popular market".

So what do they do? They sex up a vulcan in tight spandex and put out a season long story arc, that is about as interesting as a 28 year old, semi bald, poli-sci major talking about the american involvement in the down fall of the chilean government of Salvador Allende.

Kudos you co[/b]ck gobblers on ruining a decent franchise.

[b]Video Games

Video games, where to start. How about Metal Gear? Here we have what is the pinnacle of the 32-bit generation gaming with an amazing story and game play that helped push video games into the main stream and what do they do?

They take one of the coolest, most rocking f[/b]uckers to grace a video game, the one and only Solid Snake and replace him with Raiden perhaps the most pathetic and whiny character to grace a video game. The shear lack of testosterone in the hero makes even the generic limp wristed, fancy lad working at every Gap store across the nation wince.

Really what the f[b]uck were they thinking?

Lord of the Rings
Okay they got that sh[/b]it right, for the most part.

[b]Alien vs Predator
How in sweet **** could they ***** that sh[/b]it up? Thats like a girl giving a bad ********, in order for it to happen you have to really for lack of a better word "suck".

C'mon you have Aliens and Predators possibly the most well known and beloved aliens this side of ET. Then you have Lance Henrikkson of Millennia fame and you still make the movie suck ***?

How did they do it? Easy they got Paul Anderson the ********* possible director ever to do it. Because hey even though he made Resident Evil which was a by no measure of the sense a "good" movie that did only mediocre at the box office maybe he can get it right this time? Wrong.

[b]Dune

One of the greatest novels in the Sci Fi catergory. Frank Herbert died of cancer before he could complete the series. So his no talent, hack, only claim to fame is that his father is a good writer, son decides the profits from the royalties to the dune franchise are not enough and decides to enlist the help of a pulp sci fi writer whose previous forays into the Star Wars genre were dismal to say the lease.

Together they come out with more prequels that are so fuc[/b]king bad it makes my fillings hurt. Literally if they tried to suck they could not write a suckier story than what they have already come up with that is how bad they suck.

Plus that Children of Dune Mini Series, can you talk about Shatner~esque over acting. Notable mentions to Stilgar and Alia.

[b]To Wrap it Up
Before my post aquires Gbaji like mass I will wrap it up. Why do they have to keep ruining it? Thats all I gotta say.

Edited, Wed Nov 24 15:04:02 2004 by bhodisattva

You left out G.I Joe,Power Rangers and Transformers.

Edited, Wed Nov 24 15:14:48 2004 by Brisk

Ha! I remember years ago seeing the Transformers on TV and thinking "Hey cool! Transformers!". It was even some classic episode with Megatron and Starscream and whatnot, not some "new era" crap.

Each time there was a scene change, they had these robo-arms come out and twist the screen, making some whining hydraulic mecha-noises! WTF was that all about? After about five minutes, I couldn't take it any more and changed the channel. Who's ****** idea what that?

I can only hope for one thing when it comes to Star Wars... I hope JarJar dies an excruciatingly graphic death in episode 3.. otherwise i will pirate it like ep.2 . I remember skipping a day my senior year to go see Episode1 thinking it was going to be so craptastically good I'd crap my pants like the originals were back in the day. I walked out wishing I had just gone to school.

So, I waited til Ep2 came out and asked people who saw it if JarJar died in it or not. When they said no I hit Kazaa (yeah bad lefein, Kazaa bad! Now I know better, gimme some credit.) I figured Lucas owed me one for missing a good day of school and 6 bucks...

That's the problem when you're making a sequel, prequel or movie over a book.

The audience have already created their own pictures of how it is suppose to evolve and when you do something they didn't want they're gonna flame the movie.

I've heard a lot of people complain about AvP, but they never give any reasons.

I think it's just a hype like when people ******* about Jar Jar.

C'mon, he was pretty funny... Rule no. 1 in movie business: Always have a funny sidekick character.

bhodisattva.. OMG Dude, thanks for the laugh.... I needed that. You make some good points though.

The new "anime" version of Transformers sucked so much balls that even al'Katie was jealous. However Beastwars rocked in my opinion.

I have been without TV for a year now so if they came out with a redo of G.I. Joe then its news to me. However I will take your word that it sucks. Destro, Cutter, Duke, Snake Eyes, Stormshadow, CC, Dusty, Scrap Iron; they all deserve better. (that was pulling random names out of my ***, some of them might suck and actually deserve it).

I think you all get the point, enjoy the original but remakes, re-imaginations, prequels, etc are less appealing than a recieving a golden bath from a lumber jack with a french canadian accent and over abundace of body hair.

If you dont know what a golden shower is go look it up at urbandictionary.com

Edited, Wed Nov 24 17:37:45 2004 by bhodisattva

Gotta agree on Star Wars. I would have loved to see a love scene in the second movie.... I dunno what it was that they actually put in there, though. O_o They like, stared at each other, and read from cue-cards or something, I guess.

Yeah, they did the same thing with Sailor Moon, and then put Gadget Sa... I mean, "Sailor Says" at the end, where they told little girls things like "Don't run with scissors", "Take care of your health", and "Don't poke your friends in the eye with Sailor Moon toys and accessories". As if it were the 80s or something.

I stopped watching it around the time they turned the lesbian characters into cousins. I don't even want to know what they were planning on doing with the transsexual boy band leather-clad sailor soldiers from another galaxy in the 5th season. Maybe they could throw in some bestiality to make it more kid-friendly.

JarJar wasn't funny he was annoying. He was also a gleaming stereotype of a Caribbean-Afro.

OK Im sure this has been posted here a million times, but reading this post reminded me of this Transformer Video

Caution! Contains music

Dammit Bhodi if I don't finish this DB by tonight, my boss will have my *** in a sling, but this post was too fun not to reply so here goes:

I'll give ya kudos on the Star Wars preludes. The Phantom Menace was Spongebob Squarepants in CGI, and Attack of the Clones wasn't too far off.

I assumed Keenan Ivory Wayans produced and directed AvP because the entire theater was laughing their collective asses off towards the end. (See pimp Predator with the cane).

As for Star Trek. Not counting the newest crap infested incarnation that holds the Trek logo, I found Deep Space Nine quite entertaining to say the least. Too bad nobody else did!

As for Video Games. The future of video games is FPS's and MMORPG's. Please use Halo 2 and WoW as a reference. People want to be connected to each other.Gone are the days of Double Dribble and Tecmo Super Bowl. The OJ Simpson glitch in Tecmo Super Bowl was priceless. I still play Madden religiously, but only single player.

But what you didn't tap into was the Aliens and Batman franchise. After Alien and Aliens, did any of the next 46 Alien movies actually make any sense? How about this - Aliens:Attack of the Ripleys.

Now let me sink my teeth into Batman for a second. Just like the Alien franchise, the first two were excellent but the next 2? I could have sworn Bruce Wayne was twice the age of Robin, but let's pretend Val Kilmer is twice the age of what's his-******* name.

In conclusion, GFY :)

Gadin

Edited, Wed Nov 24 17:59:12 2004 by Gadin

Deep Space was pretty good.

I love Star Wars and Star Trek though they are two different versions of a space age future.

I enjoyed the Star Trek movies almost as much as the Star Wars movies (especially because the spaceships look nice and they made so many movies).

>.> I miss thundercats and voltron......

Dam you stupid school for making me miss the last 5 episodes of every series known to man

You name it, I've missed it's last episodes because of bad timing...

God hates me... just a little?