May I have your attention pleaseFollow

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE TO CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

In light of your failure to make the correct decision in electing your President, thus showing you to be unfit to govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the revocation of your independence effective as of Monday 8th November 2004.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she doesn't much fancy.

Your new Prime Minister, the Rt. Hon. Tony Blair M.P., for the 97.85% of you unaware of the outside world, will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated in twelve months time to determine if any of you noticed.

To aid your transition into a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. All citizens are to look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. While there, check the pronunciation guide for "aluminium" - this may be surprising for you. Generally attempt to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same 27 words interspersed with "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. Learn to distinguish British and Australian accents. It's not difficult.

4. Hollywood will henceforth be required to occasionally cast Englishmen as good guys.

5. Re-learn your original anthem, "God Save the Queen". Please ensure that you have complied with the first law before attempting this.

6. Stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of "football". What you refer to as "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you aware of a world outside of your borders may have noticed that no one else plays it. Play proper football instead; to start with get the girls to help you - it is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, eventually, be allowed to play rugby, which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies.

7. Declare war on Quebec and France, using nukes if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you unaware of the outside world should count yourselves lucky - the Russians have never really been bad guys. "Merde" is French for "sh[i][/i]it".

8. 4th July is no longer a public holiday. 2nd November will be the new national holiday.

9. American cars are hereby banned. They are crap; it's for your own good. When we show you German cars you'll understand.

10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

6. Stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of "football". What you refer to as "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you aware of a world outside of your borders may have noticed that no one else plays it. Play proper football instead; to start with get the girls to help you - it is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, eventually, be allowed to play rugby, which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies.


That is the only good thing about the U.S.

*********** but anyhow..

Hail the Queen!

Will you teach us how to talk in those great accents?

just drop your "R"s and add an "H" to all words begining in vowels.

the 'English' language sounds like some half-witted fop trying to speak German without coughing up Phelm.

And really, who can blame her?

Just checking, but you do realise that "the Patriot" was a film and in no way, shape or form anything like historically accurate, i wonder if you watch "Braveheart" and think that William Wallace was an urbane, well educated, short bloke.

No no i get it you watched "Robin Hood Prince of thieves" and think you can walk from Dover to Nottingham in 2 hours.

Do the human race a favour, throw yourself under a fast moving locomotive before you have chance to procreate, dipsh*t.

^

How do I put this so you will get the message easily?
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k? THX.

Oh and god fu[i][/i]ck the queen.

Good idea. Another amendment that would be required:

12. The import of any and all "cuisine" native to the British Isles to the New World is hereby prohibited, in addition to any preparation of said foodstuff therein, under pain of death.

Are you going to outlaw personal hygiene like adult males not brusihing their teeth? If you are then GFY and the Queen ****. :)

Why does Nobby hate the poor?