Rules for being a good DemocratFollow

- You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

- You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

- You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese & North Korean communists.

- You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

- You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUVs.

- You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

- You have to be against executing serial killers but in favor of the unrestricted killing of unborn children.

- You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

- You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

- You have to believe that the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

- You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

- You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

- You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

- You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and really a very nice person.

- You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

- You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belonged in the White House.

- You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

- You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

- You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments and unions create prosperity.

- You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.

- You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee, or Thomas Edison.

- You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

- You have to believe that minorities (especially blacks) are inferior and incapable of individual advancement without government intervention.

- You have to believe that advocating the joys of "alternative lifestyles" in public school classrooms is good for children, but uttering the Pledge of Allegiance with the words "Under God" is bad for those same children.

- You must believe that savage acts of terror are the moral equivalent of political discourse and/or an appropriate response to America's "crimes."

- You must believe in using the power of government to steal from the productive in order to give to the parasitical, and that there is no distinction between true need and greed.

- You must believe that rights are bestowed by the federal government (until a federal judge sees fit to revoke them), and are not granted by God and protected by the Constitution.

- You must believe that virtual child pornography and sexually-explicit cable programming are commendable examples of free speech deserving of protection, but criticizing a government official within 60 days of an election ought to be stamped out mercilessly.

- You must believe that the best way to vote and govern is to stop thinking and rely instead on warm fuzzy feelings.

- You must believe that reasoned political discourse consists of repeated 30-second advertisements equating an American president to Adolf Hitler, despite the fact that similar criticism in **** Germany would result in a one-way trip to a concentration camp after the first ad was broadcast.

Rules for being a good Republican

-Post year-old crap.

EDIT: Lefein, you'll note a distinct lack of "which side ordered this" in that article.

Edited, Thu Oct 28 16:42:22 2004 by RPZip

Heh, I like this one too!

Would like to say that Hilary Clinton is a nasty *****, and I would hit it. Several times. With a shovel.