I'm not a religous man....Follow

I will however go to the Cathedral of the Holy Cross in Boston this afternoon and light a candle for the Red Sox.

I've also put a call in to my favorite Santanic preist with a standing offer to trade my soul for a Red Sox World Series win.

Further, I've contaced a Nation of Islam imam informing him I will fast for Ramadan if Allah can come through for the Sox.

I put a call in to my freind Yoshi who will inform the preists of this Shinto Shrine in Kamakuro Japan of the need for his ancestors to send the devine winds against any Yankee balls in danger of leaving the stadium.

I will drive out to the Sri Lakshimi Temple in Ashland, MA, and ask for the help of Vishnu, Brahma and Shiva in defeating an imperialist power as they assisted Ghandi in doing to the limeys.

I will call my friend Hiram in Jerusulem who will proceed to the Wailing wall and insist that Jehova step in and make things right .

I have sent e-mail to my freind in Hollywood, Candace, who will infrom theChurch of Scientology that anything they can to do to have the Galactic Overlord Xenu hamper the Yankees chances by dropping Derek Jeeter into a volcano and nuking him would be most appreciated.

My wife will be visiting her favorite coven of withces in Salem mass asking them to use all of their power to put a foul hex on the bats of Yankee hitters.

My younger brother will be driving to Foxwoods, to plead with the elders of the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation to communicate with the Great Spirit and ask him to provide usefull spirit guides and vision quests to the Red Sox. I'vs suggested the mighty Bear for Ortiz, the Cougar for Damon, and the trixter Cyote for Wakefield.

I will send email to a casual aquaintance Poppy Z Brite, an author who lives in New Orleans and beg her to go to the most powerfull Voodoo practioners with the hopes they will provide many curses against the Yankees. With luck they will contact the eldest witch doctors in Hati to do the same.

I will phone varius Televangelists informing them there's a new air conditioned dog house in it for them if the Sox win.

I will make the trek to Hawthorne NY and place my 19 year old blue Red Sox cap upon the ground Here .

I ask Gitslayer to drive to San Pedro and ring the bell of the Korean Freindship Temple.

I ask Totem or Pickle to invoke the spirits of stregnth and resolve at the Mechanics Monument at the corner of Market and Bush in San Fran. The symobl of survival after the great earthquake of the ruen of the century, it's spirit must guide the Red Sox to victory after so many years of suffering.

I ask Jophiel to travel to North Chicago to the Bhai House of Worship to beg Bahá'u'lláh to intervene on behalf of the Red Sox in the name of world peace.

I ask Stok to contact the Ipiscopal Bishop of Kansa, The Right Reverend Dean E. Wolfe and inform him that we are willing to trade a Kansas City win on Monday Night Football against the Patriots in exchange for a Red Soc world series win.

I ask Kaolian to appeal to the great Wombat in the sky to smite the evil Yankees.

I ask Patrician to travel to Stonehendge and speak acient limey incantions against the ebil New York menace. The spirit of George III surely seeks revenge against the ultimate symbol of American arrogance.

I ask Goalkeeper to contact the local Rastafarian groups and beg them to plead with Jah and Salasie to destroy the team from Babylon.

I ask Tare to hold a hockey puck close to her womb, informing her soon to be child that we will gladly trade a Bruins loss against any team from Canada in exchange for a Red Sox victory.

Finnaly, last but not least, I plead with the mighty Allahkazam to risk person and porperty by penetrating security and ringing the Liberty Bell in the hopes that the team of Phillidelphia's prodigal son, Kurt Schilling (noted EQ player!) will acheive victory tonight.

Anything else you guys could do to help would be appreciated.

Forgive me if my typing is erratic today, all my fingers are crossed.

You could send me 50 bucks. That would also have the added benefit of you not getting pregnant.

XytheX Birth Control Plan - New and improved version wins sports games too!

Get a hammer and some stakes, Smash, and we'll go after Johnny Damon. He still hasn't done anything productive.

He still hasn't done anything productive.

He's due for a leadoff homer tonight!

But for 50 bucks it's cheap insurance. Plus it comes with a certificate to frame.


Tempting. If you threw in robot insurance maybe..

Just for you, I'm going to put money on the Yankees. It's the only way I know to guarantee they'll lose.

Is the game tonight? Man oh man, I usually don't watch baseball, but I will be glued to my TV set when this game begins.

Hope and pray!

Gadin

Damon = 2 for 26

I hope he comes out tonight with his head shaved : )

GO SOX!!

Just to get my facts straight:

Yankees win all the time.

Red Sox never win.


Right?

We don't have baseball over here so please entlighten me, for it is such a delight pleasure to watch a man hit a leather ball with a metal pipe causing the ball to leave the stadium. A stadium they obviously made too small!

By the way, why are the men in the field running around with oversized right/left hands? I would have a hard time catching a small ball with one of those foam cheering hands.

Oh yeah, the baseball players aren't the brightest ones in the world. They run a major detour just to get back in line on the bench. I would take the short road, but I don't play. The benches must be very comfortable since the players hurry that much.

Fixed.

Jesus Christ, thats like 400 miles away. Couldn't I just sacrifice small animals to some dark power for you?

Go SOX!!!!

No offense to the ancient Hawain Kahuna's... but they didnt exactly help with Pearl Harbor did they???