Ex'sFollow

What's the best way to gid rid of em? Side form killing them or making them dissappear.

Can't seem to move past her, even though we both know we don't want to aee each other again.

Been six years and all, but it's time to move on! But how?



And GFY, FTFY, and GRY and all that jazz.

Move past her how? You still hang out? Have sex? Go to each other's family Christmas parties?

point well taken angsty, and yes we stil hang together sort of. I need to cut that part out, but its difficult, seeing as how close are are to one another.

You need one of those nifty thermal depolymerization plants. Put a person in, get out a gallon of heating oil and 4 gal. pure water from the other end! (or something like that)

I have learned this: Love makes you stupid.

Don't fall in love. You will pledge to yourself and if you are a normal crazy person, you will pledge love unto her, and not want to stop loving even though you should. But then when you do, you'll be going back on your word, which makes you feel like a weak liar. The opposite sex is there only for procreation, and fun drunken nights.

My mom taught me to be polite around women, open doors for ladies, **** a *****, and slap a ho. She didn't say anything about love. Where did I get a dumbass idea like that?

The ********** it" part is easy, the **** someone else part is considerably more difficult. Practice by jacking off to a ton of assorted ****, and fantasizing about random people you see at work/school/shopping, so that when you muster up the strength to go clubbing or bar hopping, it will be more natural to **** someone else.

And Marriage = r2/15 + 27 + G x RND100

Yep. Relationships follow scientific formulae ***-hat.

Some work. Big Smiles

Many break your heart. Bummer

What the f[i][/i]uck you been snorting?

I agree with Yanari. Gotta move past it - yes, easier said than done. I can understand wanting to keep in touch with past loves. Here is the catch - try to avoid seeing them in person at all costs. If you must interact, do it over the phone (the internet is too removed, in person - too intense). Contact them as sparingly as possible. I'd say no more than once every 6 mo.

Here is the other thing. The things I said above only apply AFTER you have gotten over her. Until then, no interaction. The healthy thing to do would be to tell her you can't - not won't, not don't want to - but CAN'T see her anymore. Do this for as long as it takes. You will know when you are ready to interact again, if you do at that point.

So, the question now is "How do I f*cking get to the point where I am actually over her? I know this is going to be rough to hear, but I speak from experience and a psych major (and a mom who is a psychotherapist). You gotta do it sober man. Smoke cigarettes if you want to. Drink a drink here and there. But, if you are getting drunk all the time, you won't be able to heal. You are just extending the problem and grief for the future - and it will take longer.

If you can (and I'm sorry if you don't), find a friend or family member who is willing to be a recepticle for your pain. Someone who cares about you enough to let you spill your guts. This helps A LOT!! I don't know what medication you are taking (as per your livejournal thread), but if it is an antidepressant or mood stabilizer of any kind, drinking will negate any positive effects of it - just to let you know.

Try new things - if you need to move to a new apartment (or a new city), do it! This will help too. Changing your environment can help you find new joys and experiences in life. Being in the same environment and routine makes it makes it harder to escape the pain (because it will remind you of the painful things more readily).

I hope these ideas help a bit. Good luck, I know how devastating it can be.

My relationship lasted 14 years, 7 of it in marriage, does that mean I get to look forward to 7 years of moaning, ********* whining and blaming before I accept what happened, happened and was for the best? Damn, I wish someone told me ealier. I missed all that weeping and crying, hate and anger I could have experienced. Why me oh lord, it so not fair!

It depends. Could you accurately describe her by saying that she "has snakes in the head" ?

Personally, the last time that I was stalked by an ex that I could NOT shake, I moved to the opposite corner of the country for a year. I was sick of dodging her and in many cases, failing to dodge her. I refused to lie and say that I just hated her guts, but at the same time I just didn't want to allow myself to be backed into any corners.

So I got a lot of running room. ;)

Thanks for the replies.

I don't know a lot about relationships, seeing as how this was my first. She was my first love, which doesn't help the situation much.

Besides school I have hit the gym once again and I am seeing major results after just one month. I have begun dancing again which I sorely missed whilst I was with her. And knowing she's sitting on her *** playing EQOA while I'm ripping muscles or oidoin' my usual 25 minute run feels real nice!

But we talk through email, a lot. Ever since we worked together at my previous company two and a half years ago we talked through email, and still do now. I know talking to her everyday through email won't allow me to get past her, but it's so tempting to shoot an email and wait for that comforting response in the morning.

We hardly talk on the phone anymore, and even rarely see eachother, mostly because 1) she likes to flirt on the game 2) she's made a connection with a certain sh"it guy taking advantage of an opportunity I made. She's flown to see this guy who pays for her ticket many times, and now he wants to fly here to stay at her , or our old place.

Bottom line is I don't want to be alone. That's my real fear. I don't fear not being sucessful because I hold a 3.42GPA with 6 classes to go for my B.A. in Information Systems. It's the fear of not being loved again. The fear of dying alone. Friends would help in this matter but I'm currently lacking in that category.

So what's the next step from here? Do I try to repair things? Let this new guy take a crack at her? Stand back and let the chips fall? I don't know.

Smash once told me to grow a pair and move on, and move on I did. Only I made a promise to help her move out of our old place (in which I moved out of 6 months ago), and I intend to keep that promise. After that I plan to release her from my life completely. I don't know if that's the right move, but the way I'm thinking now that's the only move I have left.

Every day I hope that she shows up at my place and surprises me by telling me she's sorry the way things turned out and that she wants to fix what broke, yet everyday I realize that probably won't happen.

I realize now I need to be happy with myself before I can be happy with anyone else.

Thanks for reading,

Gadin