Philly redeuxFollow

I found this on another board and it reminded me of Smash's Philly thread. Does it sound familiar?

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Flying from U&L to Philly last friday was basically a pain in the ***. I was happy the X-ray guy let me keep my airline sized vodka bottles in my fannypak. My new metal knee failed the security checkpoints at every airport though. The bloody mary mix was complimentary, so I used my vodka to make a couple of drinks, mostly to numb my senses long enough to make it through Delta airlines movie of the week: Dodgeball.

It rained most of saturday and we used that as an excuse to get some sleep as we had tickets to see the Phillies that night. Rode the Broad street train down to the stadium without any problems. We decided to sample some of of Tony Luke's Philly cheesesteaks before we grabbed our seats. As we stood in line for the CS, we drank two beers a piece. Luke's cheesesteak was pretty good, but nothing legendary. I was surprised that I actually enjoyed cheese whiz...my buddy ordered his with provolone.

Our seats were killer...12 rows from the field, right behind home plate. The "Club" section made it easy to grab beers/drinks/ chow...The jumbo tron was crystal clear, and the music was anything but canned ballpark ********* The game went 14 innings, but they served beer until about the 13th inning. Nothing like spending 40 bucks for beer...

Sunday we returned to the stadium for the afternoon game, caught a buzz before the 3rd inning, baked my five-head to the shade of fresh caught salmon. This time I engulfed some type of Italian sausage with peppers and onions. Lager belches tinged with the sausage and peppers radiated up through my nose. Luckily I had stashed a couple of Rolaids with me. XXXXX, who was with me ate 3 of those ******* dogs by the 8th inning. I didn't see him for awhile, and when he returned he claimed his ******* was en fuego. I suggested he take one of my rolaids and shove it up his starfish, but he said he wanted to experience the pain.

The Eagles/Vikings game was monday night. Some guys at the Phillies game invited us to their tailgate for monday afternoon, ...but drinking from 3:30 until the game at 9 would probably result in something bad. Everybody has a NFL replica Eagles jersey...everybody. The section we sat in had about 6 Vikings fans, and everytime they stood up a LOUD chant of "*******....*******...*******..." greeted them. I heard a commotion around half time and I turned around and looked up to where the Vikings fans were sitting. There he was...covered with mustard, ketchup and crushed peanut shells. He was pissed and summoned up about a half dozen stadium staff people, along with some Philly cops. People got thrown out, but the stupid Vikings fan returned and took his seat.

What a dumbsh1t...if you're going to be stupid enough to wear an opposing jersey in Philly, rat out the mustard flingers, and THEN return to your seat in PHILLY stadium...then you are one stupid sum' *****. He didn't last long up there...maybe it was the beer shower that convinced him to leave, I dunno.

One thing I'll give it to Eagles fans, they SING their fight song. "Fly Eagles Fly..." They sing it at the stadium, they sing it in the subway, and I even heard it being sung in a hotel bar.

Overall, the sports junket was pretty decent. Off sports ventures had the Luth at the Constitution Center, trolley rides around town, Eastern Penitentary, and the Ducks. The Ducks was the amphibious tour ride around town, and then we drove into the Delaware. The only bad thing about the Ducks ride was the goofy yellow plastic duck call they gave us. I never quacked anybody, and when challenged as to why by the moron driving the Duck, I told him I had some Cope in and didn't want to blow any of it out. He left me alone after that.

The cheesesteaks are overrated, but the ball games were great.

Your intrepid sports reporter,

XXXX

Totem

Night, bud.

Totem