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He calls vegetables a waste of valuable meat-space.
Vegetables are evil!
EVIL!! And they are led by the ubiquitous, vile and nasty Lettuce! Oh, people tell me "You're crazy, you can't taste lettuce." I say, yes, yes I can and it tastes like *** and if you tell me again what I can and can't taste I will shove a whole head of iceberg down your throat.
Some vegetables are forced to be evil because they were born a vegetable, like the carrot. Others have changed sides, the potato for example, but the lettuce is just plain mean. He has no point, empty filler to make your burger look bigger; an excuse to pretend you ate in the form of a salad and little bitty pieces of it always gets into your burrito even though you said NO ******* LETTUCE! Onions, mixed into a recipe can make the difference between and good and bad meal, tomatoes, while gross raw can make a plethora of sauces and drinks but Lettuce does nothing,
nothing but sit there and plot and think about the ways it can take over the world. Yes my friends lettuce is evil, a wrinkly green head that thinks of nothing but your demise and ways to make you gag.