......Just thought that this thread should be out there..........
...Guess sinse this is my thread I'll lay my balls down on the railroad tracks first.
Sex stories:
1.) There I was with my girlfriend. In the back of my car sitting in an empty parking lot. I had the engine running because it was the dead of winter and it felt like 20 below (before things sarted to heat up). After about 30 minutes we had both finished. It was wild (I recommend the car anyday...although it kinda sucks getting situated when you're 6'4".) Any how; No sooner did we both ***, when a spot light and wig-wags started flashing. "Busted!" I wrapped a sweatshirt around my midwaist(the only thing I could find at the time) and she put on my t-shirt (she's 5'0"...it fit)....
....By the time I got the sweatshirt around me the cop was at the door shoving a slim-jim down the window. *pop!* went the lock. <cop> "Ok! Out of the car!" And with a swift yank, he pulled me from the car and onto the ground face first. At this point I didn't seem to mind the icy cold ground. My mind was more focused on the cuffs being placed around my wrists. <cop> "You are under arrest for sexual assault and rape!" "You have the right to remain silent." "You have the right to an atterny." "If one can not be ...yada yada yada..ect .ect..."
.....Now it's about this time that my free spirited girlfriend thought it would be a real hoot (after finding my camera in the back seat) to take a few pictures of my incarceration instead of telling the cop she was there on her own free will.
......As she took the pictures and was laughing her head off...The cop turned and finally started asking her questions. He then realized that it wasn't a rape at all. Which was a good thing cause my **** was about to freeze off from being on the ground so long. He took the cuffs off, let me get my clothes on and took off only leaving me behind with a written warning....
....I bet he got a few laughs back at the station.
....I know my friends do everytime I play "Never have I ever" when she's around......"Never have I ever been cuffed naked in the snow!"
2.) One night I went over to my friend Chris's apartment to watch the movie "Snatch"...We sit down and we're watching the movie, when all of a sudden there's a nock at the door. Chris gets up and answers it. Our friend mike burst in from the apartment up stairs. Normaly it would be cool for him to hang out with us but on this night..we rathered he didn't...You see he was buck naked exept for socks and a pair of boxers which he held over his crotch. <Chris> "Mike are you ok??!!...."Why are you naked??...and crying???"......<Mike in a blubbering response> "I need ice...*wimper*...I think it's broken...*crying*" <Chris> "What do you think it broken?!!" <Mike> "My ****!"...*takes off the boxers to reveal a swollen (not in the right way..more like you could see tred mark welts on it type of thing) ***** ...<Chris> "What the fvck happened due!?" .....to mae ka long story short...he wanted to have sex with his girlfriend for the first time so he just decided to walk in to her room buck naked and expected to get some...He got a boot to the junk instead.....We ended up taking him to the hospital...yeah..it was that bad....::shakes head::
.....and the morals are 1.) don't have sex in the parking lot..or don't leave a camera in the back seat (Take your pic)
2.) Don't always expect that your girlfriends burning for you...cause it's hard to put the fire out when you got a kink in your hose. ..........
.........on that note...my 9 hour work day in over....say what you want..I don't give a damn
Edited, Fri Jul 9 15:40:05 2004 by EyesWideShut
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Do I really need to say it?
Yes I do.
GFY Fuc[b][/b]kface.
Yes I do.
GFY Fuc[b][/b]kface.
Quote:
"Ok! Out of the car!" And with a swift yank, he pulled me from the car and onto the group face first.
Still repressing the group ****-raping from the police? Oh, face first. Well, little difference I suppose.
I think this kicking in the groin thing should be talked about more. You can't just go around doing that! People can die from that sh[i][/i]it.
I think the GF should get something nasty stuck up in her to return the favor.
Ladies, unless your life is in danger...DON"T DO IT!
I think the GF should get something nasty stuck up in her to return the favor.
Ladies, unless your life is in danger...DON"T DO IT!
funny story man
pickleprince wrote:
I think this kicking in the groin thing should be talked about more. You can't just go around doing that! People can die from that sh[i][/i]it.
I think the GF should get something nasty stuck up in her to return the favor.
Ladies, unless your life is in danger...DON"T DO IT!
I think the GF should get something nasty stuck up in her to return the favor.
Ladies, unless your life is in danger...DON"T DO IT!
Like a ***** made from balsa-wood?
Like a ***** made from balsa-wood?
Unsanded pine.
Unsanded pine.
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he wanted to have sex with his girlfriend for the first time so he just decided to walk in to her room buck naked and expected to get some
I think the word you were looking for here was "creepy" or "scary", not "sexy".
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I'd say the male population of these boards would be better served taking this as a cautionary tale, instead of vilifying a woman who apparently felt the need to protect herself.
I KNEW you'd say that. She was his supposed "girlfriend". What happened to "Put on your clothes, silly? It ain't happening."?
Don't you think that taking a chance that someone MAY NEVER PROCREATE or causing SERIOUS injury is a little bit of AN OVERREACTION? Ya think?!?!
I wrote a tale over in Twiztid's journal the other day about this.
Totem
Totem
So you predicted my response? So could anyone who's read my posts. I'm not a very mysterious (or subtle) person.
She may have gone out with him, but they weren't sexually intimate. That makes a huge difference. Do you think she kicked him in the junk when they were out on dates? I'm guessing not. Probably because he wasn't acting insane, ya think? And are we assuming all he did was knock on the door? Hmmm?
If a man I went out with a couple times showed up at my place naked, you're damn right my first thought is going to be "this f'ucker is off his rocker and he's going to try to rape me".
Yeah, men and women have really different responses to certain situations. There's a bloody shocker.
It's not called a "knee-jerk reaction" for nothing. In the original post you have a great example of how to elicit it.
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She was his supposed "girlfriend". What happened to "Put on your clothes, silly? It ain't happening."?
If a man I went out with a couple times showed up at my place naked, you're damn right my first thought is going to be "this f'ucker is off his rocker and he's going to try to rape me".
Yeah, men and women have really different responses to certain situations. There's a bloody shocker.
It's not called a "knee-jerk reaction" for nothing. In the original post you have a great example of how to elicit it.
Quote:
She may have gone out with him, but they weren't sexually intimate. That makes a huge difference. Do you think she kicked him in the junk when they were out on dates? I'm guessing not. Probably because he wasn't acting insane, ya think? And are we assuming all he did was knock on the door? Hmmm?
We are both assuming here. GF means (to me) steady going out kind of thing. The tone of the speaker above lent itself to this belief.
You are assuming this act of sexual playfulness was malicious in nature. A weird, but understandable.
You are basically proving my point. I understand all that women/girls have to deal with a lot of bullsh[i][/i]it, but why not give the bent-****** boy the benefit and the opportunity to salvage his dignity and leave?
All I'm saying is if what is WRITTEN above is the extent of the story that is AN EXTREME overreaction.
Oh yeah, and I hate the word "creepy". If someone you thought was really attractive did this to you, you wouldn't use that term. Basically, creepy is when someone you don't like doing the same exact thing.
Save it.
Wasn't her purpose for making this thread to hear other people's sex stories, not to get some debate started?
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Wasn't her purpose for making this thread to hear other people's sex stories, not to get some debate started?
Read the sign on the door, Moran.
Today I think I will hijack threads. Phear my 1337 f14m3 skillz
Yanari - Yo Go Girl!
I agree with her. Just because she was his girlfriend doesn't mean that they were getting it on.
And guys, if a guy showed up at your door with a *****, and a hungry, "let's have sex," look in his eye, do you really think telling to put his clothes on would do it? No, I don't think so.
I agree with her. Just because she was his girlfriend doesn't mean that they were getting it on.
And guys, if a guy showed up at your door with a *****, and a hungry, "let's have sex," look in his eye, do you really think telling to put his clothes on would do it? No, I don't think so.
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If someone you thought was really attractive did this to you, you wouldn't use that term. Basically, creepy is when someone you don't like doing the same exact thing.
Ted Bundy was attractive by conventional standards.
Yes, when someone is exhibiting a gross lack of boundaries, it's creepy. No matter how pretty they are.
But really, your suggestion that she should be painfully raped was clearly the more reasonable response.
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And guys, if a guy showed up at your door with a *****, and a hungry, "let's have sex," look in his eye, do you really think telling to put his clothes on would do it? No, I don't think so.
Thanks for the faith, sexist. And this is from a person with a sex-positive name like Kundalini.
Sheez.
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Really? So an attractive person can't be creepy? Interesting.
Ted Bundy was attractive by conventional standards.
Ted Bundy was attractive by conventional standards.
Yes, and the women that met him did not think he was creepy. Thus facilitating his crimes. Thanks for helping my point out.
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Yes, when someone is exhibiting a gross lack of boundaries, it's creepy. No matter how pretty they are.
Bullsh[i][/i]it.
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But really, your suggestion that she should be painfully raped was clearly the more reasonable response.
You are overreacting. There was no indication of this happening or having chance of happening. Guilty until proven innocent eh? Are we all to be damned from what a minority does?
Sheez...
Faith? More like experience.
GFY
GFY
Quote:
Faith? More like experience.
GFY
GFY
I got beat up by black people every day on the bus ride to school.
Thus I distrust all black people.
Good logic...now take that GFY and turn it around. :)
That explains a lot...
Totem
Totem
Quote:
And guys, if a guy showed up at your door with a *****, and a hungry, "let's have sex," look in his eye, do you really think telling to put his clothes on would do it? No, I don't think so.
I think what we're missing here is that the "Put your clothes on" should come FIRST.
Then a stern-faced "NO!"
Then a kick-to-the-balls.
Of course, if a complete stranger shows up in your house naked, by all means, kick him right away. But this situation is a tad different.
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That explains a lot...
Your ability to detect sarcasm explains a lot...
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I think what we're missing here is that the "Put your clothes on" should come FIRST.
Then a stern-faced "NO!"
Then a kick-to-the-balls.
Of course, if a complete stranger shows up in your house naked, by all means, kick him right away. But this situation is a tad different.
Then a stern-faced "NO!"
Then a kick-to-the-balls.
Of course, if a complete stranger shows up in your house naked, by all means, kick him right away. But this situation is a tad different.
Thank you, Tricky.
Sheezy Sheez on a Sheezy Crutch.
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After about 30 minutes we had both finished.
Your GF must be ugly.
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If someone you thought was really attractive did this to you, you wouldn't use that term. Basically, creepy is when someone you don't like doing the same exact thing.
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Yes, and the women that met him did not think he was creepy. Thus facilitating his crimes. Thanks for helping my point out.
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GF means (to me) steady going out kind of thing. The tone of the speaker above lent itself to this belief.
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You are overreacting. There was no indication of this happening or having chance of happening. Guilty until proven innocent eh?
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I think the GF should get something nasty stuck up in her to return the favor.
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