General board notice! Enhanced Asylum is coming!Follow

/coughs loudly to get everyone's attention

*Ahem*

Effective August 1, 2004, this board will undergo some significant changes. On that date, there will be two categories of users at the Allakhazam's Asylum forum.

Those who sign up for Enhanced Asylum will continue to view the board as normal. Those who do not sign up for Enhanced Asylum and agree to abide by the terms and conditions of the service agreement will view the board as normal, except that you will not be able to read any posts by yours truly, "Totem." Those posts will not appear on your screen and you will, therefore, have no idea what the Enhanced Asylum members are howling about.

I know what you're thinking-- "Gee, Totem, isn't this just another way of lining your already overstuffed pockets with my hard-earned summer job caysh?" The answer to that question is, "No!"

I've been doing my thing on these boards for a long freaking time. And I've not asked anything from the minions other than a simple RACK and a few votes during the end of the year Board Awards. Can I get an Amen, brothers and sistahs? But those days are over-- the gravytrain is nearing its' final stop.

All your famous authors get paid if somebody wants to take a peep their literary offerings, so why shouldn't Totem get a little bidness? From the first time I mastered a keyboard, I knew I wanted to be some kind of John Grisham or Dostoyevsky, just not as short or dead.

How many times do you find yourself saying, "Gee, I sure wish Totem would post more so that I can laugh and find an escape-- however brief --from my mundane life?" Although that's a rhetorical question, Smash (during his many trips to Lost Wages) has set the Over/Under at four times a month.

So it's time for you to put your money where my mouth is. For the low LOW fee of $4.99 a month and a 2-year commitment, you will continue to enjoy the Asylum in its current form with plenty of giggles courtesy of your favorite poster. If you fail to jump on this offer NOW, your enjoyment of this site will soon be as barren as Katie's womb. So sign up. Don't wait! Act now! Admins are standing by.

Totem

Amen brotha. Just remember who's journal you use to write your hilarious shorts. That's right, give your daddy some sugar.

Twiztid

Edited, Thu Jul 8 22:19:14 2004 by TwiztidSamurai

What?

Edited, Thu Jul 8 22:21:30 2004 by Reinman

Rah rah Totem! Pet that ego boy!

Hi, this is Moebiuslord. Enhanced Asylum is the future of message boards. Like me, you've probably spent hour after hour slapping your refresh button like a research monkey trying to score some blow, in the hopes of seeing even just ONE post from big ol' black 'n' proud Totem. And after going through about a twelve pack and smoking the last of your stash, you realize it's probably just not going to happen tonight ('Sup, my recently pregnant, apparently newly celibate wife?).

Well, my friend, those days are gone. With Enhanced Asylum and a subscription to "Totem on Demand" (for an additional $2.75/month) you have access to the Totem Archives! Every post Totem penned in all of it's stunning context and glory right there for you! Just click on the handy search feature and enter "Totem"! It's that simple. It even comes with a Last filter to screen those annoying spam sessions he gets into.

Don't wait. Make that call today and change your message board life forever... but not in a gay way.

Moebiuslord

Moebiuslord is a compensated spokesperson for Enhanced Asylum and Totem on Demand(tm).



Edited, Thu Jul 8 23:47:00 2004 by Totem

I know, i'm so jealous..

Thats just a blatant missuse of of RACKing power. Totem is unfairly
appropriating RACKS to his favorites. Where is my affirmitive action lawyer?

I've signed up and love it! Now every time Totem posts, I get a text message on my cell phone alerting me of TPA*. This can also be set up to alert me via email or the new space age neuro-chip implant that displays a holographic image of Totem delivering a personalized message that only I can see and hear!

It's rocks!

Queen Skeeter

*Totem Posting Activity


Edited, Fri Jul 9 00:46:19 2004 by Totem

No.. nice avatar though, I sat there and watching it a couple times..

damn, that is a nice avatar, good thing I saved it.

Only thing I want to know Briallasmoney is where in the world you got that Avatar from.

Frick. I go through all this trouble and what I get is people impressed by a freaking avatard? Unreal. This truly is a prime example of the Shiney-shiney Theory. What a waste of time.

Totem

Maybe you should rub some lotion on yo' dusty self, Ashey Larry, and get that Levar Burton shine.