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I hope what you say is a joke but I can give you some advice. I'm alot older now but at 18 two guys who went to the same Rock club as me decided on a suicide pact.
One jumped of my block of flats, hit the ground and was alive in agony for nearly an hour. Fear of dying was all over his face for that hour.
The second did not and now is happily married and living the High life in London as PR to the stars.
Your choice but I prefer the later.
WE all hit lows in our Lives, the high points come. If you wait for them.
No, sometimes life get's much, much, worse and eventually you're blowing guys for quarters in an alley to make your next fix wishing you'd just OD and get it over with. No one wants that.
By the way, were I you, I'd stop replying about now and then tommorow, about noon, post this:
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This is "Gadin's" or as I knew him, Bobby's mother. What's wrong with you sick people. My son is dead. Dead! etc...
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Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.