Im a FFXI poster (/me watches all the rate downs... /me cries.)
I just want to start this thread off with a few laughs.
"There are other forums on allakhazam.com other then FFXI!?!?!"
-Van
EDIT: The above is a joke... I figured it would make people laugh... obviously I was wrong.. Take a joke people, its OOT =)
Edited, Thu Apr 29 18:05:16 2004 by VanyelFC
- Forums
- Cross Site
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- Just a fun thread ^-^
Just a fun thread ^-^Follow
So, where's the fun part?
Thats not a laugh ^^
In case anyone was wondering it was a joke =)
(Edit: Removed sig)
Edited, Thu Apr 29 17:43:33 2004 by VanyelFC
In case anyone was wondering it was a joke =)
(Edit: Removed sig)
Edited, Thu Apr 29 17:43:33 2004 by VanyelFC
Here we go again.....
Quote:
So, where's the fun part?
Lol your supposed to make it fun =P
No "you're" supposed to.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Just curious wher the idea that we rate people down came from? The only person people ever rate down is Skeeter due to his extencive fan club.
sorry was i supposed to be laughing?
Dipsh*t
sorry was i supposed to be laughing?
Dipsh*t
Quote:
No "you're" supposed to.
That's funny literally AND figuratively!
Rack that!
Well your no fun Tare ^-^
How am I supposed to have jokes suited to the audience if I don't know YOU =P
Well heres an old favorite of mine:
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing
happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided
to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed
his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought
this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was
delighted with the $5..00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to
God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed
that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC., and those jerks
deducted $95.00 in taxes
How am I supposed to have jokes suited to the audience if I don't know YOU =P
Well heres an old favorite of mine:
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing
happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided
to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed
his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought
this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was
delighted with the $5..00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to
God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed
that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC., and those jerks
deducted $95.00 in taxes
Damn it, that actualy made me laugh.
But I'm still bitter damn it!
Grrrr!
But I'm still bitter damn it!
Grrrr!
lol tarv its a joke =P
I doubt anyone is going to rate me down because I play FFXI (at least i hope not... /me looks around.) =)
I doubt anyone is going to rate me down because I play FFXI (at least i hope not... /me looks around.) =)
VanyelFC wrote:
Well your no fun Tare
Well, you learn somewhat fast.
But you're the one who is no fun. You're that person.
Edited, Thu Apr 29 17:49:34 2004 by Tare
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
For Skeeter another joke from my archives ^^:
Title: What is it?
Schwartzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use his.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
Answer below!
(This is really good)
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
The answer is:
"A Last Name."
(You didn't think I'd send you a dirty joke, did you? )
Title: What is it?
Quote:
Schwartzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use his.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
Answer below!
(This is really good)
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
The answer is:
"A Last Name."
(You didn't think I'd send you a dirty joke, did you? )
OUCH!
Just checked back and my karma took a bullet hole in the ***... yeesh if your going to rate me down at least tell me why, eh? ^^
3.6 to 2.7 hrm... somebody doesn't like me ^^
Just checked back and my karma took a bullet hole in the ***... yeesh if your going to rate me down at least tell me why, eh? ^^
3.6 to 2.7 hrm... somebody doesn't like me ^^
2.69 apparently.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Cause you can not complain about it.
Just embrace it, and love it.
Like me.
-Gie
Just embrace it, and love it.
Like me.
-Gie
lol Smash... someone seriously doesn't like me ^^ i posted that no more then a minute ago.
To the karma monkey: Do me a favor and post a response.. its really low to just rate and go ^_^ Thanks =)
Edited, Thu Apr 29 17:57:15 2004 by VanyelFC
To the karma monkey: Do me a favor and post a response.. its really low to just rate and go ^_^ Thanks =)
Edited, Thu Apr 29 17:57:15 2004 by VanyelFC
2.68 268 more posts and you won't exist!
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Yah I know =)
Ah well its not like my gaming advice depends on my karma ^^
Another joke from my archives:
Ah well its not like my gaming advice depends on my karma ^^
Another joke from my archives:
Quote:
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or
students...here
is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have Forbidden
fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God
saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve
should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has
never
changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they
haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising
children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word
what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that
there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT
IT
SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM
CHILDREN
whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or
students...here
is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have Forbidden
fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God
saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve
should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has
never
changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they
haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising
children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word
what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that
there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT
IT
SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM
CHILDREN
VanyelFC wrote:
To the karma monkey: Do me a favor and post a response.. its really low to just rate and go ^_^ Thanks =)
Ugh...that was really unclever...
The least you could have done was said something like "Okay which one of you m'fer's had balls (and or jugs) the size no bigger than my brain to shoot me down without letting yourself be known? ***** a** dumbf'ucks."
THAT would have at least got you a REALLY good flame going.
Looks like ratings go up and down quickly...
LMAO @ Lady rhaiynebow ^^
I have tried not to flame my whole entire time on the forums, im not going to start because someone is rating me down =)
And to keep it fun, another joke from my archives:
-Van
I have tried not to flame my whole entire time on the forums, im not going to start because someone is rating me down =)
And to keep it fun, another joke from my archives:
Quote:
>It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
>throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
>normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from
>some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be
no
>longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of
>being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
>coworkers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided
>so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
>effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
>_______________________________________
>TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late
>INSTEAD OF: And when the **** do you expect me to do this?
>_______________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible
>INSTEAD OF: No ******* way
>_______________________________________
>TRY SAYING: Really?
>INSTEAD OF: You've got to be ******** me
>________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with . . .
>INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a ****
>________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project
>INSTEAD OF: It's not my ******* problem
>________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented
>INSTEAD OF: This **** won't work
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that
>INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues
>INSTEAD OF He's got his head up his ***
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
>INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ***
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment
>INSTEAD OF: **** that, I'm on salary
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that
>INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I see
>INSTEAD OF: Bite me
>________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive
>INSTEAD OF: He's a prick
>_______________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training
>INSTEAD OF: Do you know what the **** you're doing?
>
>Thank You, Human Resources
>throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
>normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from
>some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be
no
>longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of
>being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
>coworkers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided
>so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
>effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
>_______________________________________
>TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late
>INSTEAD OF: And when the **** do you expect me to do this?
>_______________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible
>INSTEAD OF: No ******* way
>_______________________________________
>TRY SAYING: Really?
>INSTEAD OF: You've got to be ******** me
>________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with . . .
>INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a ****
>________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project
>INSTEAD OF: It's not my ******* problem
>________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented
>INSTEAD OF: This **** won't work
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that
>INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues
>INSTEAD OF He's got his head up his ***
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
>INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ***
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment
>INSTEAD OF: **** that, I'm on salary
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that
>INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss
>_________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I see
>INSTEAD OF: Bite me
>________________________________________
>TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive
>INSTEAD OF: He's a prick
>_______________________________________
>TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training
>INSTEAD OF: Do you know what the **** you're doing?
>
>Thank You, Human Resources
-Van
Freaky avatar Tricky...
Nah, just take the rating hit, and shut the fuc'k up about it.
Unless, ofcourse, you're me, and can embrace the warm rush of a negative post rating, and ask for more.
Enjoy fuc'kers
-Gie
Edit- uh....
Edited, Thu Apr 29 18:06:19 2004 by Gie
Unless, ofcourse, you're me, and can embrace the warm rush of a negative post rating, and ask for more.
Enjoy fuc'kers
-Gie
Edit- uh....
Edited, Thu Apr 29 18:06:19 2004 by Gie
If you keep posting jokes at this rate Van, you're gonna blow your load.
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