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You are all MoronsFollow

#1 Apr 15 2004 at 8:59 PM Rating: Excellent
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5,019 posts
This thread was inspired by another of my threads. It may seem a bit vain, if not downright egotistical, to indulge myself with yet another thread, but I feel that what I'm about to say is of sufficient importance to merit its own.

Quote:
sstaurus wrote:
Thundra's posts are of a satirical quality not found much elsewhere.

It's good to see that at least two of us think so. I'm assuming, of course, that that comment was not intended to be a satire on the poor quality of my satire... if such is the case, I'd like to extend to you a most heartfelt 'Fu[/i]ck you'. But yer smarter than that, so I don't think profanities will be necessary.

It's disappointing, really. It's not as if the underlying meanings of my writing are usually at all subtle or particularly obfuscated by deep allegory and symbolism- I am keenly aware of my audience's intellectual limitations, and therefore create nothing but the most [i]thiny
veiled works of satirical absurdity- written at maaaaaybe the sixth grade level.

I'm not criticizing those who actually understand the bulk of my writing and just don't find it clever or entertaining; we all can't be as easily amused as myself. It's simply frustrating to be so limited by my audience. I only wish that I could commingle my 'fart jokes' with an occasional 'less retarded' piece every now and again without being inundated with a room full of blank stares, nervous laughter, and responses which leave no doubt that, for all intents and purposes, my words were but wind in the conkshell that is your head.

Obviously, not all of the blame is be to laid on the shoulders of the retards that post here. It should be noted that the choice of the word '******', in that context, is actually an overly generous euphemism; a word I am tactfully employing in lieu of expressing how I really feel about the posters here.

First, if I wanted a more receptive, educated, and appreciative audience, my time would be better spent baiting crack-whores with vials of meth on a string, and then wrangling, sedating, and assembling the motley crew in the first available tenement, before submitting that roomful of Einsteinian Sophists (relatively speaking) to my rhetorical genius. If my goal is to speak to those likely to understand, I would meet with much greater success thusly. So in a way, I must confess that verbalizing my frustrations here is a lost cause- I am choosing to curse the darkness rather than light a match.

Second, the medium is also to blame. It would quickly become very tiresome if the few of you who 'get it' were to indicate so by responding and posting an acknowledgement that the message was transmitted successfully: "HAHA! I get it! Ur funny!" Yes, that would do wonders for my ego, but would ultimately become annoying, even for me.

There are a few of you that I know 'get it', even if you thought 'it' was presented crudely and amateurishly. Joph, Totem, Tare, Smash, Moe, gbaji, Hippo, Pat, DK, and sstaurus are such people. There are a few others I'm neglecting to mention, I'm sure. Keep in mind, I don't even like half of the people I just mentioned, but I'm sure they'll take comfort knowing that I realize they aren't complete fu[/i]ckwits- which is more than I can say for most of you. Curiously, as an aside, it seems that, with a few notable exceptions, it is only the strong of wit that persevere here.

Hint: This is your cue to respond with- "We get it, you're just not funny" [i]a la trunksbrando
. Considering the form most of your replies typically take, it's obvious that for most of you, attempting to read Nancy Drew would be quite the undertaking. It's hard not to sympathize when I realize you really do think you understand me.

The truth is that I pity you. You are living in a 2-dimensional world; a world where the wine is bland and the bread stale, and books are but displays of one's typing skills. What I find more terrifying than your appalling lack of depth is, that even when faced with the gaping intellectual abyss that is your mind, you become bored rather than crestfallen, and you turn to the television, or eachother, or any of the countless other thought-substitutions available to today's society, to be entertained... when you should be reading a book, or discussing something other than the current crop of regurgitated 'Reality T.V.' shows. Some say ignorance is bliss, but I say it's Hell. A Hell that can only be appreciated from afar; and the greater the distance from which one looks upon this Hell, the more terrifying it becomes.

Personally, I **** myself in terror every time I listen to one of you dumb fu[i][/i]cks speak.

This was not a satire.
#2 Apr 15 2004 at 10:06 PM Rating: Good
I started to read this, but my attention was quickly diverted when I noticed that the season finale of The Apprentice was on! Yeehaw! I'm betting on Kwame, what about y'all?

--DK

#3 Apr 15 2004 at 10:15 PM Rating: Decent
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040416/ap_on_en_tv/tv_apprentice_finale

course my favorite one is "average joe", a guy has to dream
#4 Apr 15 2004 at 10:17 PM Rating: Excellent
I'd like this thread more if you titled it "Your all Morons".

Just sayin'.

Carry on.
#5 Apr 15 2004 at 10:25 PM Rating: Excellent
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5,019 posts
Thank you, Dark, for destroying the dark and foreboding atmosphere I'd labored so hard and long to create.

You managed to undo all my hard work, and you did it, ironically enough, satirically.

Prick!
#6 Apr 15 2004 at 10:31 PM Rating: Good
The attention starved example of androginy wrote:
I feel that what I'm about to say is of sufficient importance to merit its own.

I thought you were leaving?
#7 Apr 15 2004 at 10:38 PM Rating: Good
Quote:
Thundra--You managed to undo all my hard work, and you did it, ironically enough, satirically.

Prick!


I almost felt bad about it...it did look like you put a lot of work into that one. I've said it before, I'll say it again: you gotta get into the writing industry. The **** that comes out of your mouth/keyboard is Tarantino quality.

--DK
#8 Apr 15 2004 at 10:42 PM Rating: Excellent
DK wrote:
The sh*t that comes out of your mouth/keyboard is Tarantino quality.


You hear that Thundra? Your writing is just as good as a Royal with Cheese!

RACK that!
#9 Apr 15 2004 at 10:52 PM Rating: Excellent
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5,019 posts
Moe: Ouch! Your response validates my assertion that you 'get it'.

DK: I am genuinely flattered. I am also lazy and disillusioned; two qualities which do not complement the arts well, particularly not in a professional capacity.

Skeeter: I believe you mean, 'Royale'. Unless, of course, you were referring to Princess Di when she had a particularly nasty yeast infection.
#10 Apr 15 2004 at 10:54 PM Rating: Good
Quote:
Thundra--Unless, of course, you were referring to Princess Di when she had a particularly nasty yeast infection.


*That's* the **** I'm talking about. Pure, unadulterated genius.
#11 Apr 15 2004 at 11:02 PM Rating: Excellent
Considering the audience you were referring to, I used what I felt would be easiest to relate with. I really meant "Roy-all", but I didn't want to get two fonetic on there asses.
#12 Apr 15 2004 at 11:25 PM Rating: Good
At first I thought you were insulting everybody on this forum.

I thought it read "You are all Mormons".

#13 Apr 15 2004 at 11:30 PM Rating: Good
Quote:
I thought it read "You are all Mormons


Credit where credit is due...nice one! :)

--DK
#14 Apr 16 2004 at 6:57 AM Rating: Good
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18,463 posts
Quote:
I thought it read "You are all Mormons".

I would have taken more offense to that. I do read your threads, Thundra. Not that it matters because as much as you say you're insecure, really, your ego knows no bounds, and it's enough that you laugh at yourself, and marvel at your own wit. Three would be a crowd.
#15 Apr 16 2004 at 7:54 AM Rating: Good
Quote:
...really, your ego knows no bounds, and it's enough that you laugh at yourself, and marvel at your own wit. Three would be a crowd.

So now I have to add scyzophrenia to androginy when I describe our resident multiplicitous marvel?
#16 Apr 16 2004 at 10:39 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
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10,293 posts
Overlord Thundra wrote:
it's obvious that for most of you, attempting to read Nancy Drew would be quite the undertaking


This was my favorite part.

Quote:
Personally, I **** myself in terror every time I listen to one of you dumb fu[i][/i]cks speak.


Followed closely by this.


Thundra, you crack my ***. Never stop.




____________________________
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#17 Apr 16 2004 at 11:18 AM Rating: Good
wot es ronge wit Nancy?
#18 Apr 16 2004 at 11:31 AM Rating: Good
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239 posts
I would like to thank all of you for providing an outstanding read during my dumpskie.
#19 Apr 16 2004 at 11:34 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
*****
10,293 posts
pugz wrote:
I would like to thank all of you for providing an outstanding read during my dumpskie.


How do read the board while releasing the chocolate hostage?

How??

____________________________
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#20 Apr 16 2004 at 11:37 AM Rating: Good
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18,463 posts
Elementary, my dear Tare! Laptop!
#21 Apr 16 2004 at 11:41 AM Rating: Good
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239 posts
ctrl+p =)

The good thing is if you ever find yourself in one of those situations where you have already started to loaf and you find yourself with out any means of cleaning your sphincter region, you can simply place your read in your crack and waddle to the next stall to utilize the paper there.

Pretty much its a win win situation.
#22 Apr 16 2004 at 11:42 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
*****
10,293 posts
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
Elementary, my dear Tare! Laptop!


I'm not sure why, but that grosses me out. Talk of Thundra's sweet tasting ***** doesn't gross me out, but someone dropping the twins at the pool while reading the board gives me the shivers.

How odd.

____________________________
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#23 Apr 16 2004 at 11:52 AM Rating: Good
*
239 posts
Quote:
dropping the twins at the pool


I prefer 'Taking the Browns to the superbowl' myself.
#24 Apr 16 2004 at 12:29 PM Rating: Good
Official Shrubbery Waterer
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14,659 posts
Thundra wrote:
I am choosing to curse the darkness rather than light a match.

HAHA! I get it! Ur funny!

Smiley: wink2
____________________________
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.

#25 Apr 16 2004 at 1:08 PM Rating: Good
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16,160 posts
T, would that be "conkshell" as in you are conking the vast majority of these simps on the noggin to check for ripeness? Or is it "conch shell" wherein the vastness of the ocean is heard resounding in the echoing emptiness of their craniums? There is, I suppose, a third alternative: "couch shell." These industrious lads lounge about waiting for their Mums to insert food stuffs into their looming mouths, looking for all the world like grossly obese and unfeathered chicks peeping loudly for their next grub or worm.

All that aside, I am sympathetic to your plight. A rapt audience hanging on your every word, savoring each delicious syllable as if it were golden nectar, rolling unfamiliar words around on their palates like a fine wine is the very epitome of ecstasy for a writer, is it not? So here am I, m'lord, at your pleasure. Dazzle me, bewitch me, entrance me, Thundra. My noggin is ripe and fresh and all so ready for picking.

Totem
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