Jokes of the Day 1-30-04Follow

ok been haveing comp issues all week at work so sorry for the slacking....

(allthough i know most of you dont give a **** if i do this or not....)

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Where’s The Fire?

A man is walking down the street and sees a little boy riding a toy fire engine that’s being pulled by a Dalmatian. Unfortunately, the rope is tied around the dog’s balls, and as a consequence, the toy truck is going very slowly.

The man says to the boy, "You know, son, that truck would go a lot faster if the rope was tied around your dog’s neck."

"I guess so," says the kid, "but then I wouldn’t have a siren."

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Doctor Love

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to the gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at the woman and all of his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately asks her to undress. After she has disrobed, the doctor begins stroking her thigh.

"Do you know what I’m doing?" he asks.

"Yes," she replies. "You’re checking for any abrasions or abnormalities."

"That’s right," says the doctor. Emboldened, he then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I’m doing now?"

"You’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer," she replies.

"Correct," says the doctor. Deciding to go for broke, he mounts her and begins having sex with her. "Do you know what I’m doing now?"

"Yes," she says. "You’re getting herpes—which is what I came here about in the first place."

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A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
“Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a ****** instead of a *****.”

“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”

“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”

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A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.
The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"

"Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."

"Incredible!" says the seaman. "How’d you get the eye patch?"

"A sea gull **** in my eye," the pirate replies.

"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the seaman asks.

"Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."

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Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender says 'May I help you?"
Descartes says " I think not.", and he dissapears.




If you understood this joke without resulting to google to figure out who Rene Descartes is, give yourself 132 points on the "I'm not a dumbass" meter.

[quote] Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender says 'May I help you?"
Descartes says " I think not.", and he dissapears.




If you understood this joke without resulting to google to figure out who Rene Descartes is, give yourself 132 points on the "I'm not a dumbass" meter. [/quote



Or give yourself 10pts on the "I used to watch Cheers" meter.

I think in total I watched maybe 3 episodes, maybe 4, of cheers the first year it was on. Never did much care for it.

Here's my offering:


Why did the gay man get fired while working at the Sperm Bank?














For drinking on the job.