Quoth the Crab, QQ MoreFollow

Once upon a maintenance dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a rude and unkind nerf on fury wars,
While I stammered, nearly spewing, suddenly there came QQing,
As of someone's posts eschewing logic - an alarmist bore.
'Tis some troll,' I muttered, `we've all seen this thing before
We'll be nerfed and nerfed some more more.'

So distinct my recollection of this mighty game's inception,
When each warrior of mention topped the deeps in Molten Core.
Eagerly I mashed the keyboard; - I had almost come to be bored
From time to time went sword and board - board to tank in Molten Core -
For that tired and tedious instance that the devs named Molten Core -
Nameless here for evermore.

In the sandy silithid instance, I had stacked nature resistance
Ran from Emperor to Emperor knowing ranged would top the score;
So that now, to see yet further nerfs I knew I'd raise a furor
I may yet commit a murder if this patch goes out the door.
My uselessness made surer if this patch goes out the door.
Yet the forums I forswore.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'GC,' wrote I, 'truly your indulgence I implore;
But the fact is I was fine, yet so hotly you opine,
That TG needs redesign, design that nerfs us ever more,
Ten percent is all too harsh' - here my thread went out the door; -
'Cool story, bro,' and nothing more.

Deep at that reply peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting: Was my post deserving of just 'QQ more'?
A string of posts unbroken, wherein nothing worthy spoken
Just that they won't be revokin' any nerfs - 'QQ more'
This I replied to and the troll again said 'QQ more'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the forum turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon I saw a blue post, somewhat longer than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something good about us;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this latest build explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this latest build explore; -
The same nerfs and nothing more!'

Here I opened the reply page, when, amidst my flaming nerdrage
In there stepped a clicking crab, a Blizzard dev I'd seen before
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, crawled into the forum war -
Posted on a thread on mages just above mine on the war -
Posted once, and nothing more.

Then this ghostly crab beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the lucid and insightful posts he'd left in threads and threads before
'Though thy posts be short and subtle, thou,' I said, 'must give rebuttal
To the plights and lamentations of the average fury war'
Quoth Ghostcrawler, 'QQ more.'

Well, his words were less ungainly, but the message was read plainly
Though this answer little comfort - little hope for changes bore
For we cannot help agreeing that no forum-dwelling being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing any test realm notes forsworn
Any unkind nerf for balance on the PTR forsworn
What reply but 'QQ more'?

Yet the crab so resolutely faced the forums in their mut'ny
With those nerfs, as if his soul in that ten percent nerf he'd store
Nothing further then he posted - though his terse reply was roasted
With posts of those who boasted that they'd quit if this went fore
On the patch day they will quit, as some others had before
Then the crab said, 'QQ more.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so swiftly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, 'what it posts here is its only stock and store,
Handed down from devs above him who unmercifully shove him
To the forums - gotta love 'em - to dispense this cold rapport
Till the patch goes live and players must accept it or play WAR
Or, in sadness, QQ more.

But the crab was still provoking from all posters - spitting, choking -
Even I, the fire stoking, with another rant implored
That they soon should reconsider, else I'd become a quitter
Or reroll a class with damage and utility and more
I shall not hear 'QQ more.'

This I let attract replies, but no syllable belies
Mercy from that crab who maintains that the nerfs are still in store
This and more I sat and read, with a waxing sense of dread
In that doomed DPS thread that the blue sign gloated o'er,
But what words within that thread the blue sign gloated o'er
We shall delight at nevermore.

Yet my interest in these posts were vested, as some numbers I had tested
Suggested warriors would suffer, suffer greater than before
'Rage!' I cried, 'Its steady increase comes from damage, and this new piece
Is so blatantly ill-managed, that our red bar cannot soar
End, oh end this foul TG nerf and return our rage once more!'
Quoth the crab, 'QQ more.'


'Crawler!' said I, 'reconsider! - GC please, we have grown bitter! -
Only give us something different, so this nerf leaves us less sore
Even this we can take willingly if you'll offer some utility
Maybe fix our stances - tell us truly, we implore -
Are there - are there changes coming? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the crab, 'To Arms, no more.'

'Crawler!' said I, 'one again sir, I insist you give an answer
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with two Betrayers if, we all as players,
Shall ever see the death knight class nerfed into the floor
Will we see Unholy brought in line with shamans, rets, and warrs?
Quoth the crab, 'Nevermore.'

And the crab, never shirking, still is lurking, still is lurking
In the Blizzard symbol just left of my posted rant on warrs.
And his animated avatar draws replies from posters afar
With 'cool story, bro' and 'har har, fury's finally done for'
And my rage at this new patch that goes live in three weeks or four
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

----

Sourced from here, towards the bottom of the page.

That's freaking amazing.

That was amazing /cheer /clap /cry

Edited, Mar 14th 2009 12:30pm by xDarkpheonix

Words don't describe how entertaining that was. So many people I'd love to show that to but they wouldn't have a clue what any of it meant :(

dare I ask for an encore =)

**edit**
The Simpson's use of the Raven was just amazing.

Edited, Mar 21st 2009 9:50am by redbarronthesecond

I laughed. I cried.

Good find.