RL Advice...not the fake kindFollow

The Problem: I like playing WoW. I very much like playing WoW with my fiancee (priest). She, sadly, doesn't like playing as much as I do.

Her Complaints: WoW stresses me out. I feel like I get nowhere when I play (has changed since 2.3 now that we get 7k per quest...). I don't think I play well. There's too much going on. I can't relax and play.

More Information: (skippable). WoW is her first video game. She's not great at it, but she doesn't suck. She actually pretty good, considering she never grew up with Mario or [insert favorite Commodore game here].

I started her playing the game because I spent so much time playing when I first got it, she started in order to spend more time with me and figure out why I liked it. She started on a Druid, one of the toughest classes to learn how to play on EVAR, hated it cuz she died too quickly and it was too confusing, so I suggested we do the old "start new characters together" thing. My human rogue, her drae priest. All is well.

So we move states, buy a house, get new jobs, life is pretty hectic for quite some time. Now it's as relaxed as it can be (while planning a wedding) and we seem to have a reasonable amount of down time. However, when I do so much as check my auctions, she gets mildly upset, asks for one day without WoW (despite the fact that she hasn't played in a week+ and I only get on to AH) and complains.

The Question: Oh great wise and aged scholars, sages and warchiefs of Alla- what in the name of anything holy can I do to get her to play WoW with me again? I'm not above mild trickery. I am above lying. Despite the way I write, I'm also a master word-smith. Use that info if it'll help.

I'm not trying to force her to play the game...It's more that I would like to be able to come up with an argument on why she should or something. I'm not some manipulative douche, so please don't take it that way. I guess this could be just a "QQ my girl won't play WoW with me" thread, but I'd much more appreciate advice.

It's also not a question of me not having the willpower to stay away from the game for a day. I like WoW, but I don't need it to be an everyday thing. When I'm in the mood to play, I like to play for a few hours. That's it. The complaint is- she hasn't played the game in over a week, possibly over two weeks. It makes me sad.

Your suggestion is sound though. When we had cable before (we're trying to get FIOS and it's so far taken 2 weeks...) she'd go watch Brothers and Sisters or Grey's Anatomy and I'd go play WoW. All was well. I'm looking for a different way. We still don't have cable and won't for 2-3 more weeks.

You should ask yourself: why is that a problem?

My GF doesn't play at all. So? I play soccer too, and she doesn't play that either.

only thing i can even think of, is that you could try doing like a compromise thing, where you do something she loves that you arent so fond of... and just dont bring up wow for a while

then maybe you can just casually ask her if she wants to play, and she might go 'well he has done all that stuff i wanted, why not?'

or something to that effect

but i wouldnt know, i got a different problem as far as that goes.... since my g/f plays a lot, and she big on our realm forums and the mirc and all that... but likes wow more as a 'pay-to-use aim that happens to be a game' while im a lot more into the 'energy? monsters? kill + no downtime? booyah!' and the org dueling scene

so haha, just imagine that... when if you saw your g/f on a lot, but shes talkin in mirc more often then to you haha, its kinda funny like that

that's the beauty of language - it's constantly evolving. Hooray for vajayjay!

I know exactly how you feel man. My wife has an account, and I like to play with her, a lot more than she likes to play. My solution was to have one character that I only play with her. We play together when she wants to play, and I play my other toons when she doesn't. It's been a much slower process than I would have liked (We're only 62), but it's better than nothing.
We'll get to 70 eventually, and if we don't, I still have other toons to play.

Don't pressure her into playing, because you'll only make her more resistant to playing. Playing a priest can be stressful, so one thing you can try is to have her roll a class that isn't as complicated or critical.

Good luck in the game, and with the wedding.

-Camel

This just got you on my **** list for life.

Those are outweighed by the fact that I work for Apple.

I didn't mean to sound like I was saying you were 'forcing' her to play.

Anyway, perhaps she should try a Pally if she likes healing but not dying? At least she'll be able to wear mail (and do they wear plate? I don't remember), and won't die as much or as quickly as a cloth-wearing priest would. Then again, I don't have much experience with Pallys or Priests, so I may be wrong.

Here's your real problem - there is no real solution. Seriously, there's not. One way or another, you will lose something. You're totally screwed. Melodrama aside, I am in the exact same situation, except I'm married and have a kid on the way in place of your wedding. My wife also plays a (human) priest, and was the one that got me started on WoW.

"Solution" 1: Do what she says and try a day without WoW. This is easy enough, so try it. Hell, make it a week if you want. If it actually works, marry her NOW, cuz you've got one hell of a woman. What is more likely to happen is that she will make this request more and more often (and turn it into a demand), and before you know it, WoW is a distant memory.

"Solution 2": Play a char together. You've even done this! Worked for a while. Perhaps her interest waned while yours waxed. Now you have zero progression b/c you play that char together, she doesn't want to play, and she doesn't want you playing unless it's with her. (Hint: Doesn't work when one likes Horde and other only likes to play ally on a dead server).

The central issue is two-fold. 1) Her interest in the game isn't nearly as strong as yours is anymore 2) She sees WoW as competing for her attentions. More time you spend with WoW = less time you spend with her. (Time spent playing together doesn't really count as spending time together). So what to do?

Can you rekindle her interest in playing? My wife leveled 1-70 as a HOLY priest, god bless her. Never once wanted to go shadow, which would have probably helped her kill much faster and not die so often, but she just loves healing. Someone suggested a paladin. Maybe you can both re-roll and dedicate a night or two where you both play together and don't play on other chars.

Another solution is to play when she's not around - she can't really complain if she's not there, right? Chances are, this is a rare occurrence. One of my other problems also is a solution in that my wife LOVES to go to bed around 9-10, whereas I like to stay up until 1-2. Every so often, I just can't go to sleep until 1-2, and laying in bed for 4 hours isn't very fun. Go to bed with her, if you can't fall asleep, wait until she does and you have 3 hours of gaming. One downside is if she actually wakes up and finds you playing, she may accuse you of going behind her back (but if you are a word-smith, you can easily counter this).


Oh, and if WOW stresses you out, maybe you should take a break, play another game or something. If you plan to spend the rest of your life with this girl, giving up a little time on WoW to spend a little more time with her is ok. Compromise and see where it leads you, then reassess the situation. If she becomes unreasonable now, there's no reason to think she'll change when that ring is on her finger.

Best of luck to you both,

-z-