I finely gave in at about BRD lvl with instances with getting yelled at about sheeping.
There is a great mod out there called "Tattle" it will announce in whatever way you set it, who broke ANY CC. That quickly stopped me from getting yelled at cause of the zomg DoT everything locks, and the "What I can't Thunderclap/Conscrate on top of the CC mobs??" tanks and multi-shot happy hunters.
As for water I give out 40 at the begining of any instance, if you have to go threw more than that... well there is either a: something wrong, or b: you need to stop drinking when you are down 500 mana!!
I am really picky anymore with party's, I don't need rep from any instances anymore.. and I don't need any heroic gear from anywhere... I am slowly saving badges for 2.3. If a party isn't going to work, you can tell before the 1st boss, nothing is worth the agrivation and repair bill unless I am in a REALLY REALLY good mood (yeah.... no caster raid drops in 2 weeks... think THAT is gonna happen soon?!? lol)
Though in truth, it's your time and your patience. I won't put up with people's BS unless it's someting I really need/want. Out class leads for raiding never "tell" us what to do ever even.... I'm not gonna put up with it from strangers =)