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I played on a PvP server in my WoW days and playing competitively requires a player to key bind next to all of their abilities and move/turn with the mouse. Once you have trained yourself to play this way it's very hard to go back to being a clicker.
Perhaps in WoW its like that.. but, in EQ2 a gamepad is nice.. I use the Fang myself.. but, its not necessary to be competitive. Some of the best PvP's I have known in EQ2 use neither a game pad or a third party program.
As for the long patch times. That's usually your ISP throttling your download from the patch server. Latency on the net can sometimes be an issue too, but in most cases its ISP throttling. Some ISP's are better at determining what is music, video and game content than others.
The other issue I see people running in to is that they're running one of those **** internet "protection" programs like Zone Alarm, Norton Internet Prison, or McAfee's Internet Condom. All three of these will attempt to analyze every single byte of data, one piece at a time during the patching process and this can slow it down considerably because it won't let any more data through until its finished thus creating a bottle neck in your router.
I reinstalled on a new computer last week.. and from Disk #1 until the Character Select screen, the whole process took about 1 hour and 45 mins. So, 18 hour patching is not an issue with the launcher.. there's something else in your environment causing the slow down which you might want to troubleshoot first.