Believe it or not, the EQ2 Forums have a board dedicated to each of the classes and they contain some very good information on how the class plays, mostly submitted by those who actually play the class. For the specific board dedicated to Coercers, simply follow this link:
http://forums.station.sony.com/eq2/forums/show.m?forum_id=75
There you will find a good description of the class itself, a list of the spells that Coercers get and suggestions as to what AA lines you might wish to pursue. A few words of encouragement, I have managed to level my Coercer to Lvl 27 now. I also took a lot of dirt naps in the early days, but once you get the hang of charming things, it can be quite a fun class to play. My best suggestion would be to look up someone on your server willing to make your spell upgrades at a reasonable price and to harvest or buy the rares needed to get Adept III's for your charm and mez spells at the very least as this will help to minimize the dirt naps that you take.
I hope that this will help to prolong your life a little.