"I fully agree with the above poster: people need to pay attention in groups more than the MT needs macros."
Yes, people *should* pay attention in groups, but they usually don't - even more, they often *can't*. After the hours go on, it's just not humanly possible for most players.
The "incoming!" message does a lot of good, really. It has the effect of reminding people that the puller is out there working - and they're not. It helps the team "snap to" and do a better job. And people know what's coming - if it's the rare boss-lvl pop - they're ready for a big fight, etc. It's definitely worth a button. Here's another reason most people don't realize yet - if you buff "too close" to a monster arriving at party, you for some reason get *insane* agro. So those who have buffs that must be refreshed know, when they see "Incoming %t! Get ready!" that they should in most cases *hold off* on that buff - and let the puller get back - and let the MT build up a round or two of agro first. The incoming message in my mind is definitely worth a button.
Other posters have said "hey, team members should just not be stupid - that would prevent group wipes more than an 'incoming' button" - yeah, very true - however, it's not an either-or. It's a case of both. The "incoming!" button helps enough imo to justify its use, but yes, party discipline is more important.
And on the issue of party discipline, these pointers might help. If you don't have a long background in group-oriented mmo's, when you group, you do a job. That's it. If everyone does their job well, you get good exp and loots. If people ***** up and don't do their job right - disaster. And yes, the puller is doing a lot more than you. If you can't take it, reroll a character who can pull (like a tank, but other classes can pull, too) and learn to pull. Otherwise, learn your job and do it right, please. It really makes a difference.
If you see a pop to the south of the group's spot, and you just saw the puller head out north - and he's just said "sorry, nothin out here" - tell the puller by doing: "/g Hey a %t just popped south of camp". And don't do a thing. Maybe he just saw something pop, and maybe he's incoming. Or maybe he'll buzz down there and get the pop you saw. Whatever the case, it's the puller's call.
There's a lot of other things groups need to do to have a good run and rack up a lot of exp and loots. If you have an enchanter, back off on the AE and don't wake what he mezzes. Mezzing is such a powerful tool, and it depresses me greatly when I hear that players are dropping their enchanter toons cuz "they can't get groups" - cuz no one knows or appreciates what they can do. Sigh. Big mistake folks - the higher you go up, the more we need enchanters - big time. Support your local enchanter, please.
Other things u can do to help that grp experience is to pace yourself if you're a dps (damage per second or damage-dealing class) - don't so outdamage the tank that you get agro all the time, esp. if the grp has only one healer. Yeah, yer bein a macho show-off - yeah, yer cool, yer uber - but you're screwin up your healer's system.
Healers - don't nuke. Save your power and don't waste it. Your nukes aren't that good, but you're the only ones who can heal. If you have no power and the group gets surprised - you're all dead. I know, it sometimes gets "boring" to just heal (and yeah, of course sometimes you nuke - like if for some odd reason you form a group of 3 druids). But in most cases you have to have discipline. When I heal sometimes I tell myself I'm not really a healer, I'm a "pet summoner" - I just summoned a Guardian, a Paladin, a Dirge and a Wizard to "pet" for me - they are my pets - and my job is to heal them. Stupid? Maybe. But if it helps you overcome the temptation to nuke, it's working. Healing is hard - you need to mix your main heals w/ regens/wards/reactives so you don't draw too much agro - but you must chain heal when the tank is getting slammed - and if you overheal u waste power and let tank die later in the fight. Healing's an art - do it right and you'll pretty much be able to get a group anytime you want.
This is a petty point, but it's a good one. Get player-made food and drink. The regen level between fights is much better than bought food or summoned food (summoned is the worse) - or at least make sure you have bought food. It helps reduce downtime a lot.
But mostly, figure out what your "job" is and do it well. Please don't ***** around. That's really important. And if you can't control yourself, if that's too boring for you - just solo - or go check out WoW maybe (that's not meant as an insult - you might actually like WoW better - and if yer fundamentally a WoW person and not an EQ2 person, I'd like you to be happy, that's all). GL all.