Warning to (RL) young ladiesFollow

as an interesting number - myspace has fewer sexual predators, per capita, than the state of california.

if you exercise basic common sense, you will be fine. telling people not to do webcam shows is like saying "Hey honey, when the guy at the streetcorner offers you ten bucks to blow him... You probably shouldn't do it."

You can finance.

your fifteen year old? Someone's not going to jump out of her monitor and abduct her if she's chatting while you aren't around.

in three years, she's going to be out of your house, at college, and functioning on her own -- but when you turn eighteen, you don't automatically acquire good judgement. It's something you have to develop throughout your childhood, via increasing responsibilities, free will, and opportunities. Failing to do so gradually means that when you turn eighteen, you have to do so immediately - and the consequences tend to be a lot worse.

do you know how much more likely your daughter is to be abducted by someone she knows irl - or just someone walking down the street randomly - then by someone online? I don't have figures for it offhand, but I believe somewhere around 75% of kidnappings are perpetrated by family members. for the rest - well, I'd guess around 99.9% of the remainder are either random street abductions, or abductions by a irl 'familiar face' (contractor, butler, friend's relatives... etc.) You hear a lot about the "dangers of the internet." you don't hear the same amount about "family" kidnappings, or about random acquantince kidnappings. they just don't make for the same quality alarmist headlines.

the media's been stressing a lot lately how a cyberstalker can easily get a picture, and the address of a teen to come abduct her/him. I kinda laugh whenever I hear this - anyone can do the exact same thing by following a school bus, and noting where the kiddies get off.

stress a few rules to your kids. (don't give out their address without asking you first. if they want to meet someone from the interweb, talk to you first.) emphasize the possible consequences. (horrible death.) kids aren't dumbasses, most of them will understand the possible consequences, and thus, comply.

99% of - if not all - abductions done by someone the kid met via the internet, are done with the kids complicity. the involved kids generally did not understand the risks involved with divulging personal information, generally because they had not been explained to them. the other portion felt that there was someone they really wanted to meet, but that their parents would not support it - and thus, circumvented their parents, and failed to take adequate precautions.

making the dangers clear will resolve most of these issues. making clear that before any irl meeting, your daughter needs to talk to you and have you involved with helping setting it up will take care of most of the rest. make it clear that as long as the person and circumstances don't seem 'wrong,' that the answer isn't necessarily "no, you can't meet them."

if it makes you feel more comfortable - install monitoring software on your kid's computer. make them aware you are doing so, or they'll probably kill you. monitor it occasionally... don't intervene unless your kid is either divulging irl info/planning meetups/etc. the more apparent responsibility you give your kid - the better off they will be for it.

a lot of stuff (especially the OP) should be common sense to any kid over the age of nine or ten. if it isn't to someone, then their parents fail at life.

by the time I was fifteen, I had been playing everquest for a couple years. I'd made a number of pretty good friends. I'd cleared $3000 on various stuff. I'd met a number of people who actually represent a pretty decent chance at me getting a job in the future.

I met irl a number of people around my age who lived in my area. yes, initially in a public place with parents (on both sides) around. Actually - as much as it pains me to admit this - the first girl I ever dated I met online initially.

I learned enough about PCs to get an A+ certification, with minimal studying. I learned enough about programming/disassembling stuff to make some pretty decent money freelancing. I learned a ton about EQ and mmorpg design in general to probably get a job in the field eventually, if I so desire.

I'm also far, far more literate as a result of the internet. In addition - I was exposed to a far wider range of people/backgrounds than I would have been otherwise.

I'm a more rounded person for having my own computer and mostly unsupervised net access for a long time while growing up.

I'm sure I'm not really representative. but, as I'm kind of a case in point, the internet can be pretty beneficial in the life of a kid. a few basic safety precautions will protect your children on the net.

wow... that ended up being a lot longer and more rambling than I meant it to be. I should probably just delete half of it, and rewrite it in the morning... oh well =p





Edited, Mon Apr 17 04:17:40 2006 by Groogle

In response to your aside, Groogle, I've always noticed that being well-spoken and using (at the very least) capital letters tends to have people negate whatever feelings they would have when they find out your age. Not two years ago I would get offers to go out and drink with the buddies because I just seemed old enough. I still get the offers and I'm still not old enough, it's all in how you present yourself.

Though if you're like "I'M 12 AND I LIKE BOYS TEEHEE" you're going to run into trouble.

Good judgement and tasteful discretion is the name of the game.

Not sure it would work but still cute idea.

really depends on the person. I was in a pseudo-raid guild five or six years ago - I ended up deguilding because the GL refused to assign me as a tank to anything when she realized I was a kid. It wasn't because I used horrible grammar or couldn't tank, she just had an idea of incompetency stuck in her head.

Of course they are on a sharp rise. The net is still "new" and blogging is even newer(this is where most net abductions come from). Games are fairly safe since they give out no personal info and there is really no way of getting peoples personal info unless they ask them and the person tells them(which is general safety 101...don't give your address to people on the net..... =p)

Blogs like Myspace and Xanga are the real problems since people post pictures and leave msgs about where they are going and where they will be and some even leave cell or home numbers, not to mention what school they go to and where they drank illegaly the night before.

I'd be more worried about your daughters(I know guys get abducted too but lets face it.......girls blog more than guys >_>) giving out their info on myspace than on EQ..

There are places online, where by keying in a home phone number you get a nice map to the person's house, complete with the last name, so giving just a phone number isn't safe. That's one many people don't know.

i play female characters on everquest and i get hit on regularly, it is very uncommon for it to be more then just joking. i found it to be much more common to see people try to take it further then that in chatrooms. in EQ the first question someone asks you is class/level, in chatrooms its age, sex and location. i will admit that my only male toon, that i created just to see how differently i was treated, doesn't have to worry about being flirted with all the time though.
sidenote, i tried that google your phone number, apparently i live at a gas station, no wonder my new phone number gets so many annoying calls for some man named gerry /sigh

An interesting note is that deaths from the Black Plague are on the rise. You know, the one that whiped out a third of Europe not too many centuries back, yet is largely eliminated today? I think there've been ten deaths in past years.. a sharp rise. Of course, this means we can forget about cancer now.

Edited, Thu Apr 20 00:05:28 2006 by ReofblMobile

*Shrugs* As much as you may find it deplorable, cyber sex is healthy for many. Would you perfer the children actually have sex with eachother like half their peers are?

This isn't to say what you're doing is neccisarily wrong. Just.. it's not any valient cruasade you're making, just some personal laugh.

Human sexuality will follow us.

Well, duh.