How can I get my wife to play?Follow

Hi All,

My work is offering a cheap tax efficient way to buy a home PC (or laptop). My misses wants a laptop and so I see a chance of having two PCs at home and therefore a little glimer of hope that I can get her playing with me.

On the down side is the fact that she is not interested in games at all, but on the up side is that when we bought a house and were broke, to save money we stayed in and I got her playing Diablo (the first one) on the playstation. We duo'd and she stuck it right to the end. I was amazed and she still is a little loathe to admit that she enjoyed it. I think she mainly enjoyed it cos she was the big tough Barbarian who had to keep helping me as the little Wizard in a dress with a stick, as she put it. LOL

So, particulary you loverly Lay Deez, can you give me some tips on getting her to enjoy playing with me? I don't want to buy a second account, only for her to ditch it after 5 minutes walking into walls and off cliffs.

Thanks,

Lance

Hope this helps:-)

Several years ago I watched my BF play and hated gaming myself. I personally thought it was a waste of time. He went thru the begging and pleading phase for me to play and finally as I watched I found there WERE characters that I enjoyed. By no means am I saying it happened overnight. He helped me create a character on his account but because he was so skilled it made it hard for me to learn; moved around too fast,talked too much,etc:-)

I am a reader by nature, so I read up on the game and found one thing that appealed to me. Casters. I liked the spell effects. Yeah kinda lame but got me hooked. I started watching him more and realized that I didn't want to be a melee class....too much fighting, but to sit back and heal,buff and get a pet too..WOW!

I started EQ for what one would say all the wrong reasons but my shaman is currently LVL 53 with most of her Epic completed and I just started a Vah Shir beastlord. My first one was a twink and powerleved, got me into the game. My second is harder because I refuse to be PL'ed this time around.

In other words, let her decide. Appeal to her sense of being needed in groups,etc. We got Evolutions as a ploy for him to be able to 2box when in fact I was secretly waiting on it so that I could install and play on my comp when he wasn't looking:-) Of course, now we hunt together alot but I do find my own time to go out and enjoy the game.

FYI, 5 month veteran of EQ here but loving every minute of it.

~Nikohl

Edited, Tue May 11 07:50:47 2004 by Nikohl

This is how my hubby got me playing EQ:
Tell her as often as possible about your adventures in EQ. If you have RL friends playing EQ and you meet them together with your wife, talk about EQ with them. After a while she will be frustrated not to know what you are talking about and maybe -like me- she'll become curious about the whole thing.
Then my hubby bought the second pc, the second account (actually he wanted a second account since a long time and had then a fine excuse for it *hehe*) and a bottle of champaign. Install everything, give her a glass of champaign and introduce her into the game. Don't have any problems to play now the next time mostly with her to explain her everything and especially the way of joining the chatchannels *g*. And not to forget: tell her the important web-sites where she could find necessary information on her own.
For me it worked well. After short time I loved the game. The possibility to play together with my hubby, with RL-friends and of course the huge community of EQ. See, I'm still playing after one year and some month and still loving each of my toons. In fact I infected another friend and my niece with the "EQ-virus" and they are playing now too )).
Good luck for you! And please: let us know if you'll be succesful!
*wave*
Primessa
Kael Drakkal
Bardess of 55th season

When purchasing a laptop research because all laptops will not pay EQ. I play on a laptop but at some point Sony could progress past my capabiities and upgrading a laptop most often than not is not an option.

I also hated gaming!!!! My son has XBox live, Sony Playstation, Dreamcast, Nintendo and all the hand held gadgets. I just never could get into it at all. What sparks my interest is socialization and I am extremely analytical so nothing about gaming seem to fit me. How I got into EQ was this.....

I had developed a very strong and aggressive spades league online. During that time I met a guy that played spades and joined my team. After a while the grind of managing so many people wore on me and I got burned out. In an effort to find something else to do with my free time online he suggested EQ. I didn't jump on it cause that whole gaming thing really wasn't my cup of tea, besides I am an adult!!!!!!

Finally to appease him I bought the $20.00 game and signed up for my 30 free days. What got it for me was my son was off his games and next to me on mine. I loved that time with him!!!!! After that I was like another poster...caster's seem to suit me. I liked the spells, I liked not getting bashed on but most of all I liked to dress my toon!!!! I would have 8 or 10 robes in the bank and shoes to match and insisted on changing clothes everytime we logged on. I didn't grasp stats till about level 20, it was all about dressing and shopping in the bazaar. Regardless of all the wrong reasons I started, they turned into all the right reasons.

I would approach your wife in a manner that may be interestnig to her. For me it was fashion and the amount of research I could do to figure things out. I have spent more time on the internet learning about EQ than playing it! I love to research stuff. If you wife likes to shop or is into fashion the get her a toon and let her have at it. Hand her some plat and let her go to town. If she is a socializer introduce her to all your friends, find her a girl friend to hang out with. If she likes putting you in your place well bow down for a while till she fills her oats!!!! LOL

The end result in time may be just what you want, regardless of the method you had to take to get her there.

Buy the way, I still like to shop but I am to frugile. I worry now about stats and not looks just took me a while to try it all out. Besides I spent all my friends money and now I have to pay my way so things have changed!!!!

I played long before my wife did. I also suggested it to her, more as an alternative to TV, which is passive and really quite boring. I don't know exactly what made her give it a try but here are the things she likes and dislikes, hopefully you can keep these things in mind:

She didn't want to be PLed or twinked. She likes to work on things at her own speed in her own way. If she is working on a quest, I don't tell her that the quest reward sucks or that she can buy something better in the bazaar. I have to refrain from telling her that she needs to upgrade this or that item, because that seems to make it more about stats and number and less about immersion in the game.

She likes working on tradeskills a lot. Again, she doesn't care if she will make money on it or if the items she makes are good, sellable items.

I found that if I let her be the architect of her game experience, without my telling her what to do, she will keep coming back for more every time.

It's not easy if she isn't a gamer, but it can be done.

She didn't really understand the game, and I tried to explain it to her. But that didn't go so well. The only thing she thought the game was about was killing things (a hack-and-slash type game). A couple months ago, we had some extra money and I suggested we let her try it. She wasn't really game, but I told her that I don't expect her to play as much as me. I told her I would rather her try it and get rid of the game than maybe have her miss out on something. She finally accepted, with the understanding that if she didn't like it in the first month I wouldn't bring it up again.

That's all it took. When we got the game, we found some time that we weren't doing anything. I sat her down at the computer and kind of tutored her through some of the minor points (i.e. what the ui is and all of the buttons). This is important and you need to be there to help her! I also had her go kill a couple of minor things (like the rats). Guess what? SHE LOVED KILLING THINGS! Immediately after that I created a char to play with her (and that one only plays with her) and we play every once in a while.

She is not an EQ fanatic, but she may be one day. I already caught her by coming home early one day and found her playing EQ WITHOUT ME.

Overall, just be patient and hopefully your wife will like the interaction and adventure as much as you. But if she decides she doesn't like, just count your blessings she lets you keep playing.

Good luck.

/blush :)

My wife was a Zelda nut too. Years ago, we had the Sega Channel. For a while, they had an AD&D game on. She'd watch me play.

Then came the Playstation and Final Fantasy 7. Rather than have her just watch, I asked her to help me figure out any puzzle type things I came across.

She really enjoyed participating. Then started playing RPG's herself.

When I first started playing EQ, she was still into platform and PC based single player RPG's. Now and then, I'd ask her to come check out what I was doing.

I just suggested that she create a character and try it out. So she rolled up a Magician and started playing it. A month later, she was on HER PC with her own EQ account playing as much or more than me.

My advice differs a little from some here. Don't force feed EQ to her. Maybe make a big barbarian and a little wizzy in a dress with a stick on a server you normally don't play on. Then mention you were thinking about how much you enjoyed those Diablo days and the fact you and her shared that time and show her what you did. Just in case she's ever interested in playing. And leave it at that.


Edited, Tue May 11 11:39:01 2004 by Ralston

Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.

For me it was the kids playing that broke the ice. She started playing with me to duo and group and now she plays significantly more than I do (no mean feat), has 100's of AA, is a guild officer, leads raids and generally goes places I can't follow. This is mostly because she plays two or three characters to exclusion and I play .. lots.

Be prepared to be outmatched.

Thanks for the advice ;)

Here's to a renewed attempt to get the missus playing.

Wonder if I can get her to play a Troll shaman

Tell her she can "kill" her boss (or co-worker or a nasty client)over and over with each nasty mob, wonderful end to a stressful day. And spiders, love to whack em. Love shopping, and baking and fishing, and fireworks, and beautiful scenery. I still buy useless stuff to dress my mule. I like to be able to dye things when I get sick of the color.

They could have less slimy, bile-drenched, and blood-soaked stuff but, what they heck. I actually had my first character a while before I was willing to wear some of that nasty sounding stuff just because the stats were good.

Hello there.
I too hated the game for all the time it took my husband away from me and our kids. He's been playing for 4 yrs. now. He and a group of friends went to the fan fair in Seattle a couple of years ago and i thought they were too excited about it.
He, through out the years, has told me how much he thought I'd like the game. And I just sat there saying how I would divorce him before I'd ever play the game. Well then fan fair to Las Vegas came, and this time I went with the group.
I went and participated and LOVED it....... I made my first character and got my first kill in Vegas. Couldn't wait to get home and play more. Now 1 month later I'm bugging him to buy a new computer. So I guess my advice would be to give her time.
And if you catch her watching and asking questions, be hopeful.:)

Good Luck, Viapor

I must agree. By suggesting a cleric, you open the door with a 'I could use your help' message. That just screams 'Nurture me'. For bringing a non-gamer who you are involved with into the game, I can't think of a better way to get their inital participation.

That being said, you must recognise that not everyone enjoys MMORPGs. If she tries it and and finds that it just doesn't appeal, at some point you have to stop pushing. Hopefully, you know where that point is in your relationship. Hell, my mother can't even get my father to play CHESS on their computer. But they don't fight about it because it's not exactly important....

Fetisher
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