Helpfulness and friendliness in EQFollow

Maybe I am wrong. Tell me if I am.

I don't want to talk about the "good old times" when I started playing about 3 years ago. Things were new to me, and maybe I had a different point of view. I had a large break (nearly 2 years) and continued playing only 2 months ago.

And I think that many of the players (at least on Innoruuk server) still are helpful and friendly. Higher lvl players still give weapons or equipment to lower lvls, and I still enjoy talking to people from all over the world. But the last few weeks made me think.

I wanted to do the Scavenger Hunt and knew that I couldn't do it alone. I don't know any high lvl players personally, so I just tried to find someone who would help me; I went to Plane of Knowledge (from 30 to 70 players there) and said something like:

/ooc Is any of you, noble lords, willing to help a non-twinked lvl 15 gnome mage to gather a piece for the scavenger hunt?

Most of the time there was only silence; Only once I got an answer , and that was: "/ooc If I would help, he wouldn't be untwinked anymore, would he?" Yeah. Great.

So I went to the zones where the pieces that I couldn't get alone are dropped. I asked different players, and they replied: "Sorry, logging in 2 mins." "Sorry, preparing for a LDoN." I accepted those answers, and at least somebody was talking to me :)

And then there was that guy I met at Mistmoore castle, 65 chanter, also looking for granite. I asked him if he would help me gather a piece, he said that he would gate as soon as he got his. Ok this far. I asked him if he needed hints for the other pieces, and he replied that he didn't because it was such an easy quest. When I said "Yes, easy for lvl 65, but not for lvl 15" he started insulting me, telling me to f*** off, called me son of a rapist and things like that. I was totally surprised, as I didn't harm him in any way.

Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe he was just a 13-year old frustrated boy. But that day, I really lost the fun in playing. And as I tried for some weeks to find somebody to help me, but no-one was willing, I cannot denie that people seem to be less helpful and less friendly. I didn't ask for a big thing. I didn't want money, or armor, or whatever. I just asked people to kill a mob they could easily kill.

Am I wrong?

Great reply, thank you Cobra 101 :)

In fact, I tried to get as many items as I could by myself, and I got 5 out of 10; And you are right, one could see this kind of help as twinking. I always thought of twinking as helping low lvls to advance faster, make more exp, earn more gold. This is not the case with the scavenger staff.

Why I want it? Just because of roleplaying.
My gnome heard about the staff.
Gnomes love fireworks (they even make them).
She absolutely HAS to get it.
Not because of money, or advancing.

And maybe you're right, sending tells to unknown people is not the best way. But still, I would at least like to get a response (whatever it may be).

I don't excuse using foul language, but you hardly have right to be indignant that people aren't doing your quest for you (which is what they would be doing unless you think your mage can contribute against a spectre or in Mistmoore). Sure, it'd be great if they did help you out, but saying they have other things to do doesn't make them bad people.

@Jophiel:

Maybe you didn't get me right. I didn't complain about people saying they have other things to - of course I accept that, and of course I don't expect other people to do quests for me.

I just wanted to say that I couldn't find _anyone_ who was willing to help me over a couple of weeks, and that most of the people didn't react/reply...

Maybe it is wrong sending tells for help to people, but I _always_ reply, even if I don't/can't help...

I agree with Jophiel.

An /ooc request for help is more likely to elicit my support than feeling I've been singled out for it with a tell.

It's the old "Why Me?" syndrome.

Well, speaking about the enchanter's treatment of you specifically, that was way out of line. I posted a while back about similar treatment I got on one of my alts, and I know that it is baffling to say the least. I would not take it too personal...for someone to react that over-the-top based on what you said...sounds like he will do the same to just about anybody.

Now, regarding asking for help. If you are in zone using /ooc and you get silence, take that as a no. You really cannot expect each person to respond with their own personal yes or no to each question asked to the whole zone.

I have a personal rule that I follow where I will answer every direct tell I get. You may not like the answer but I will give it and be polite in doing so. "Sorry, but I am in a group...or working on tradeskills or looking for a group"...that kind of thing. Silence on direct tells usually gets you more tells, because people assume you did not get the message so they ask it again. hehe.

Some people that play, log in and are just there in Norrath for hours on end doing whatever they can, milling about etc. Others log in when their schedules permit and are therefore much more stingy with their time. I used to get a lot more playing time than I do now. I was much more willing to help in this kind of situation...but alas, real life limits my time in game and so when I am on I usually have a long list of things to do...and yes, sometimes that list can include just helping others. If you catch me when that is on the top of my list I may say "Sure, lets go see what we can get"...but more likely I am wanting to get an epic piece or group with friends or guildies that I have not seen in a while or something like that. Do not take a no personal, because it may just be that that person you are asking has something they want to do just as badly as you want the scavenger hunt. Expecting a stranger to drop what they are doing and put your quest first is a lot to ask.

And lastly, it is one thing to ask for advice on a quest from strangers, usually you will get suggestions or even outright help in small ways (here, let me give you some buffs for that). Asking someone to actually take time out and do the quest with you is really not advised. If you are too low level, then you should not be doing the quest.

Really, most of these issues can be solved by getting into a guild. You will have people of varying levels that should not react badly to being asked for help. That is what a guild is for. They may organize several who want to do the hunt and group together for it, or something like that.

Okay, I hate to sound like the insensitive jerk here buuut....

People play everquest as a means of recreation. They do it because it's fun. Fun for them is doing things to advance thier character, thier group, thier guild. Helping a complete stranger to do something, especially when they'll have to do most if not all of the work, and the stranger will reap all of the reward, probably isn't high on thier "fun and enjoyment" list. Most people have spent all day working for someone else, doing what someone else wants, so when they come home and log on the game, they want to do something for themselves.

Now, as to why a lot of people didn't answer you, let me give you an example from personal experience. My first character was a druid, and I'm naturally a helpful person, so a lot of my time was spent porting/sowing/helping people in general. I've helped a lot of people out in my time, and I've noticed that a large portion of the time when you do something to help someone, the begin to expect you to be willing to help them with anything then want, any time they want. There are times where people that I've helped seem to think I've suddenly become thier personal slave, ready to drop everything at a tell from them, to do thier bidding.

And to make matters worse, I sometimes run across a person I helped when they were low level(some that I helped multiple times with some difficult things) and send them a tell to say hi and see how they're doing. Invariably I end up with a response along the lines of "uhhh...hi who are you". Not the most gratifying response I assure you. It's gotten me to the point where nine times out of ten I won't respond, and I NEVER respond to tells from a stranger asking for help. Too often a response leads you down a slippery slope that is very hard to get out of without hurting the person's feelings, and looking like a jerk yourself.

As far as the anniversary quest goes, I think a lot of the anniversary celebrations were designed to reward and thank the players who have been here since the beginning. With that in mind, I'm not at all surprised they would make the quest a next to impossible goal for someone under level 20. Not everything in the game has to be available for everyone.

Most events I've seen in everquest have been for high levels from the start. This the first one I've really be able to participate in sincer I finally made the grind to get a char to 65. Overall I don't really like people asking me for help unless I know them.